Building Confidence Is Really About Unlearning Fear

Ever look at someone who walks into a room, speaks with ease, and seems completely at home in their own skin?

It is easy to think they were just born that way.

But here is the truth. You were born that way too.

Confidence isn't something some people have and others don't. You had it when you were born, before fear crept in and made you question yourself.

The good news is that you don't have to build confidence from scratch. You just need to unlearn the fear that has been layered over it.

Where Did Your Confidence Go?

Confidence isn't something you are missing, but life has a way of making us doubt ourselves.

Children feel free to explore, speak up, and take on the world as long as they feel safe. But over time, experiences shake that foundation. Maybe you were told to quiet down. Maybe you got laughed at when you tried something new. Maybe someone made you feel like you didn't belong.

Little by little, fear replaces confidence. You start hesitating. Holding back. Second-guessing yourself.

But here is the thing. That confident version of you is still in there. You just need to clear out the fear that has been standing in the way.

The Confidence Myth

So many people think confidence happens in one big moment.

• If I land that promotion, I will finally feel confident.
• If I give one great presentation, I will never doubt myself again.
• If I get enough positive feedback, I will stop overthinking everything.

But confidence doesn't work that way.

It isn't about waiting for a magic moment. Its about taking small steps to reduce fear until it no longer controls you.

How Confident People Got That Way

The people who seem fearless weren't born with extra confidence. They just did the work to remove fear.

Here's what they do differently.

1. They work through fear with tools like meditation and therapy. They don't just accept fear as part of who they are. They actively work to let it go, using mindset tools that help them feel more at ease in tough situations.
2. They put themselves in situations where they can practice overcoming fear. Confidence grows through repetition. They volunteer for projects, speak up in meetings, or take on challenges that push their limits.
3. They surround themselves with people who lift them up. Fear thrives in isolation. Confidence thrives in support. They build a team of mentors, friends, and colleagues who believe in them even when they don't believe in themselves.

Small Steps That Make a Big Difference

If confidence still feels far away, start small.

• Speak up once in a meeting where you would normally stay quiet.
• Volunteer for a project that stretches your skills.
• Say yes to an opportunity, even if it makes you nervous.

Confidence doesn't happen overnight, but every small step adds up.

If you're ready to step into life with more confidence, clarity, and presence, my course, Empower Your Voice, is here to help. Whether you're presenting at work, leading a team, or advocating for your ideas, this course will give you the tools to communicate with power and authenticity.

One day, you will look back and realize the thing that once terrified you now feels easy.

Confidence isn't about working around fear. It is about reducing it, and sometimes, eliminating it altogether.

Every time you speak, you shape your story. How have you stepped into your voice this week?

Empower Your Voice: Special Offer

For those looking to step into life with clarity and confidence, my course, "Your Empowered Voice," is here to help. Whether you’re presenting at work, leading a team, or advocating for your ideas, this course will give you the tools to communicate with power and authenticity.

Enroll for $39.99 through March 1, 2025, using this link: Your Empowered Voice Course

Start your journey today.

Call to Action: Join the "Move from Surviving to Thriving" Group

I’m thrilled to announce a free online group I’ll be running in Q1 2025, inspired by Dr. Bruce Smith’s book, Move from Surviving to Thriving. This group will focus on practical ways to elevate your personal and professional life.

If you’re ready to take the first step toward thriving in 2025, I’d love to have you join. Reach out to me directly here on LinkedIn or at [email protected] to get the details and secure your spot! Or sign up here and I'll reach out to you with details.

This isn’t just a group. It’s a space to connect, reflect, and take actionable steps toward thriving in every area of your life.

Thanks for spending your time with me.

I’m Nancy Bos, a world-traveling voice expert, fear researcher, speaker, and author. I help people unleash their voices and tap into their power.

Want me to speak to your group? Reach out - I'd be thrilled to chat about it.

NancyBos.com