Building Community One Bowl At A Time

"There can be no vulnerability without risk; there can be no community without vulnerability, there can be no peace, and ultimately no life, without community." M. Scott Peck

Last month was filled with lots of summer travel – including a hot beachy vacation with my family (LOVE THEM – oh my family and hot beach vacations). Some of the travel has been easy (surprise!) and some of it was mired in the global tech meltdown.

Watching people at airports is one of the things I love to do. Especially how they react to delays – either with incoherent rage, resigned tolerance, or yes, even excitement about the trip to come (usually from very young still uncynical travelers).

My perspective—every time I go up and down is a miracle and I’m happy to end up where I’m supposed to be. I have a dear friend who is a pilot flying really big planes all over the world. She once tried to tell me all about airports with difficult landings, and I told her I just put my trust in the pilot and really don’t want to know how it’s done. That being said, in the midst of the recent global tech meltdown I wanted to know what was going on with MY PLANE.

That’s why I was most fascinated by the odd calm at the airport in the early hours of the tech meltdown. Perhaps it was the difference between unexplained delays and this one—everyone knew it was happening and was going through it at the same time, even those who worked in the industry. There was almost a communal acceptance. And there was an amazing amount of patience and tolerance emanating from and provided to the people we were relying on. Their transparency and empathy helped to put a pin in the obvious frustration of the situation. Most important, as the day wore on, I felt a sense of community with my fellow travelers all going through it at the same time.

As I observed this I couldn’t help but think of how important community is not only out in the world with strangers, but especially with those we work with every day. That’s why gathering with intention is critical to ensuring that your teams are not just functioning but thriving. I love this article from Ron Friedman about what high-performing teams do differently, including being thoughtful about their gatherings and talking about something other than work.

And of course, there’s all sorts of research about teams that know each other better perform better.

One of my trips this past month was facilitating a leadership retreat with a brilliant group of leaders who are changing the world with their products. Someone on the team suggested we kick off the retreat with bowling. The timing could not have been better as I’d just finished reading an interview with the famed political scientist Robert Putnam who researched the value of community, wrote the seminal book, 'Bowling Alone' and is the subject of a new documentary about how joining a club combats loneliness .

So after I let go of my bad memories of rainy summer days spent in smelly, dark bowling alleys and my penchant for gutter balls, I decided to just dive in and experience for myself how bowling could make a difference both for a team and the individuals on that team. I was amazed at how crowded the bowling venue was for a week night. Gone was the stench of bad pizza and stale popcorn. This place had amazing food and a full bar. We had a great dinner and then made our way to the bowling alleys. There were no smelly rental shoes either, I could wear my own sneakers.

When it was time to play I relied on the famous bowling study by Dr. Daniel Kerschenbaum which revealed that when you focus on what you do well as a bowler you’ll improve more than by focusing on what you don’t do well. It turns out that giving yourself positive feedback actually works. So instead of saying how bad I was, I decided to have fun and focus on what I did well. Guess what? I actually knocked down some pins. And the team had a great time bridging bonds through a fun competition that brought them together for something other than work. And most important, the next day’s retreat which focused on trust and connections was enriched by the pre-game the night before.

Summer is a great time to gather your team, have some fun, and remind each other that trust and respect start with being intentional about building community at work. So don’t roll your eyes at that team game you’ve been invited to, instead, decide to focus on the positive and see what happens.

The OUTLAW ONE this month is the community created by Erin Gallagher.

Erin is a community builder who coined the term “Hype Women” and broke the internet by sharing not only her delight witnessing Jamie Lee Curtis’ utter joy as her co-star and friend Michelle Yeoh won all the awards for her amazing performance in 'Everything Everywhere All at Once,' but why it’s so important to have your own Hype Women in your corner. Erin has a podcast on the subject and hosts Fairway Dinners around the country bringing together women to help grow their businesses. I’ve always maintained that networks of meaning are critical and now more than ever we all need some HYPE WOMEN in our lives.

And speaking of community, I can’t wait to bring our production of Erma Bombeck: At Wit’s End to communities around the country.?For those of you who have friends in Denver, here is the link to tickets for our production of Erma Bombeck: At Wits End in September! More on the Des Moines production in December coming soon!

I look forward to the opportunity to work with you or your organization to grow your EDGE: Explore, Dream, Grow &?Excite?. Feel free to reach out any time.

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