Building A Career Around Your Purpose

Let’s take a quick trip down memory lane, shall we?

The time? Fifteen years ago. The place? PacSun. 

I was the No. 1 District Manager at PacSun. I don’t like to brag but yeah, you could say I was pretty cool. 

For 12 years, retail had me traveling and working 80-hour weeks, including weekends and holidays. 

Then, a pivotal life moment: I had my first daughter. And I – like many other parents – found myself struggling to balance my high-profile career with my new role as a mother. And after a year of trying desperately to juggle both – being as a present a parent I could be while leaving nearly everything I had on the road week in and week out, I had had enough. 

I walked in and gave notice, much to their surprise. 

I had no idea where I’d go and what I’d do next. All I did know, however, was that wasn’t it. 

Three months later, we moved from New York to North Carolina, knowing no one and with no idea what I’d do – but it would have to be something because I was going bonkers staying home. 

Serendipitously, a temp agency found me a part-time job covering someone’s maternity leave – and there entered Bryan Miles, and we worked together for five years. 

Life was good.

But then Bryan had an idea – he wanted to start his own business and asked if I wanted to join him. I was going through a divorce and the economy was tanking.

I should’ve said no. Everything in my life was in an upheaval and something safe and stable would’ve seemed like the right choice. Or rather the safe choice.

Everything said ‘Don’t do this.’ But my gut? My gut said ‘Yippee ki yay!’

So off I went, into the great unknown, with faith in myself to forge my own path, follow my passion and build a career around my purpose. And these are the three tenets that guided my way.

GUIDING TENET #1: Believe In Yourself 

You are your greatest asset and as such, you must be prepared to invest in yourself. I am passionate about owning your own path, owning your career, and owning your professional development. 

It's not the responsibility of your manager or your organization to give you opportunities to develop, so take on your own professional development yourself. That may mean listening to podcasts, reading lots of books, finding mentors to spend time with – whatever that looks like for you. 

Invest in yourself: Put in the hard work, be an expert, be a constant learner, and evolve. You own your development, so put yourself in the driver's seat, and reward will follow. 

When all else fails, remember … 

• Believe in yourself – even when others don’t 
• Status quo isn’t going to get you anywhere
• Make your own opportunities 
• Know that paths won’t always be clear
• It is possible to change a ‘no’ to a ‘maybe’ or even to a ‘yes’
• Show up and give 100 percent every day, no excuses

GUIDING TENET #2: Believe In Your Possibilities 

At our lowest points, it can be difficult to imagine the blessings that await us just around the corner. They can exceed our wildest expectations, so never give up, never lose faith and remain open to the possibilities.

When all else fails, remember … 

• Nothing is off limits 
• People change their minds
• All things are possible
• Find out what you’re not good at and be better 
• Decide to not stay stuck
• Decide to not suck
• Serve the owners’ purpose and goals
• Understand why they started the company in the first place
• Add value to both purpose and profit
• See a gap and fill it
• Ask for more
• Set goals – big audacious ones – and achieve them
• Exceed metrics and goals

Guiding TENET #3: Believe In Your Future 

At PacSun, a position for district manager became available – and I knew I had the stuff. It was in the bag – until a five-foot spunky firecracker of a girl from New Jersey walked in – and got it. 

I was gutted.?

“This is the girl who took my spot?” ?

?“What does she have that I don’t?”?

“What do they see in her that they don’t see in me?”?

But fate, as it is known, had other plans. She eventually became one of my dearest friends from whom I learned so much and I got promoted six months later. ?

I didn’t know it at the time, but the sting of rejection was exactly the fuel I needed to try harder. I thought I was ready when, in reality, I had a little more professional and personal development to do.

Looking back, every time I encountered rejection – from my divorce to when I first said I wanted to become CEO of BELAY and being given a hard ‘no’ – it knocked me down and then fired me up to prove that I can do it anyway.

It can be hard to see in the moment but as long as we choose to view rejection through the lens of opportunity or a redirection – and not defeat – it’s often one of the best things to happen to us.

So, when all else (seems to) fail, remember … 

• Take risks 
• Be bold; fortune favors the bold
• Learn from what you fail at or miss the mark
• Make a plan
• See it through
• Be decisive but open
• Be the expert; someone worth following
• Education is in your hands; you own your development
• Lead by example
• Do the work, hold the load, and show up no matter what

Listen. Life isn’t easy. Success is hard – hard work, hard adjustments, hard roads and – sometimes – hard no’s. My last decade was filled with failures and triumphs, joy and pain, hearts broken and hearts healed. 

But I didn’t get here by accident. 

This year – well, honestly – this last decade has been mine. Mine to succeed. Mine to fail. And believe me: I’ve done both. And plenty.

I took risks and put care into things unsure if they’d pay off – but believing they would. What I want you to walk away with is this: Believe in yourself. Invest in yourself. Build your life and your career around your purpose and on your terms. Own your journey instead of taking the path you're given. 

Why?

Because you are worth it. Your family is worth it. Your career is worth it. With that confidence, you can do all things. Every opportunity is yours to create. You can win at life and work – and it can start today.