Building bridges for a living

It’s crazy o’clock as I hit the train station and the only people awake are the truck drivers and my wife (dropping me at the station).

As I sit on the dimly lit train, hurtling across darkened fields, it strikes me again how my life is all about building bridges. I’m not an engineer, but I know that there are many kinds of bridges and there is no single answer to the question ‘What is the best type of bridge?’ It all depends on what is needed.

I’m headed to a conference in London to which I’ll be bringing many people. It’s not my conference, I’m not even speaking, I’ve just been spending a lot of time connecting people so they could come along too!

Like I said, I seem to be a kind of “bridge”, linking one person to another, a bridge between their worlds. Yours, mine and beyond. My role seems to be to elevate other people and ultimately leave them richer for being connected, or at least, I hope they are!!

When other people reach out and connect with me, I do my very best to acknowledge their effort because I know that they are doing it for my benefit rather than for their reward, recognition or recompense. When someone is selfless enough to give me a helping hand, I know it’s a risk for them to expend their compassion, kindness or generosity on me.

It’s good to remember to thank people who have opened a door or even a window into a new world!

I am reminded of the TV shows that caught my attention most when I was growing up. A couple of my favourites were the “Littlest Hobo” and the Quantum Leap. If you grew up in the 80s like I did, you would have known all about the dog in one program and the human in the other finding themselves in a variety of challenging situations. Each episode saw them striving to solve the challenge and bring the story to a satisfying conclusion before moving on.

As I remember, neither the Littlest Hobo (the dog) nor Sam in the Quantum Leap ever made it home, they just kept moving on, offering people help to get through problematic situations! It’s funny because now, I’m glad that my home is made up of the people closest to me: my wife, my children, my family and ultimately my God. For me, home isn’t a destination, it’s a journey, and the people I love are doing it with me.

The rest is temporary and transient. The journey is always more important than the destination and there is a lot to learn about building better bridges along the way, such as:

1.) Learning to be grateful

If I’m comparing myself to someone and feeling a bit jealous of them or overlooked, I feel less inclined to want to help them. However, I’ve learnt over the years that as long as I remember to stay grateful for what I have, I avoid the comparison trap.

It’s easy to find something to be grateful for. If you are healthy, you have something to be grateful for! Honestly, when you get to my great age, you hear a lot of people comparing notes on how ill they feel or the struggles they are going through. I’m grateful that as a family, we are pretty healthy. It seems that giving things up has helped us a lot!

I gave up alcohol over 20 years ago. I wasn’t an alcoholic but alcohol had begun to influence my decision-making. After Clare and I got married, we decided to say goodbye to alcohol forever now that we had found each other. Going out and getting drunk no longer held much appeal. After making this decision, I began to notice that a cloud had lifted and I became much more in tune with purpose. I felt more equipped to live a life that I could commit to, without hangovers getting in the way. Today, I look back over the years of growing our family and I’m blessed that I can remember all of it! I have Team Irwin and they are my greatest achievement. I’ve got a lot to be grateful for.

2.) Not getting get bitter, going bigger!

It’s funny that part of being a “bridge” is that you get walked over. Showing kindness leaves you open to being taken advantage of. However, this isn’t a reason to stop doing it! Rather than shutting down, why not increase your efforts instead? Being open to helping other people can become a very attractive way of life.

I have heard it said many times that as you get older you need to keep your circle small, and although that is true for decision-making, I think that it’s a better idea to keep your circle ‘open’. Why? So you always have time for a fresh opportunity. When you keep your circle open you have more ability to solve problems. Every solution you are looking for is solved through people!

3.) Looking to give rather than take.

You are always looking to leave a situation better than you found it, or at least be committed to ending on that note. You continually hope for better, want to be better and if you let anyone down, do your best to make it better.

In the world of business, don’t you want the good guys and girls to win? It’s true that they don’t always, and that needs to change, but that is why I do what I do. I want to make sure that the good people win.

It’s the reason why I am in business and why the people who align with us are also that way inclined. We desire to help people through the rough times. Whether it’s a terrible website, bad software, nasty culture or poor connections we can be the bridge to something better.

4.) Bridges need strengthening

All bridges need strengthening at times, and if you travel often to Wales as I do, you’ll have been delayed lately when crossing the Prince of Wales Bridge for this very reason! Everyone puts up with it though as the consequences of a weak bridge or no bridge at all would be quite serious!

So, if you know someone who has been a bridge for you, say thank you and acknowledge the helping hand that they have given you – they’ll be strengthened by it! Then, pass the favour on and lastly, why not have a go at becoming a bridge yourself? And if you need a helping hand to get your website working on your behalf or an app to connect you with your audience, why not get in touch?

Watch the latest episode of the Purpose People Podcast via the link below!