Building Belief in ‘You’

Quite often we all too easily fall into the mental mind trap of believing we can make a new start and move past things that we feel have been holding us back when things seem tough… concerns, problems, and issues, as well as the positives experienced, can be wiped clean, and we can begin with a clean slate. Oh if only so easy.

?We are the sum of all we have experienced and endured, and this helps us shape our future.

So, rather than expect a new start, why not consider building on what has already started. Every experience, good and bad, can help us grow both as individuals, partner, parents, co-workers … in fact every aspect of life.

As such, the following words contain great value …

?“appreciate the past, accept the present, anticipate the future”

?What does this mean? Simply put, it suggests that you can spend copious amounts of time training and exercising to ensure fitness, posture and solid performance, perhaps undertake a course in personal development, or whatever you believe it is that will make you a better person.

?But ... all will fall short of the mark if you don’t have a clear understanding of who you have grown to become, and how to put your mind (and its experiences, perceptions and learned / innate beliefs) to work to reinforce all that you put yourself through physically and emotionally up to this point in time.

?So, here's a few activities we normally use when coaching individuals towards future success in their specific environments you may wish to undertake in your own time and space.

?Your Wheel of Purpose

?Many people measure their success in life purely through financial success, work success or perhaps a successful home/family or sporting life.

This is fine, except that life is much more than simply work, or your business, or even your social activities.

Success in life is a combination of all facets of your world, from your past, to now, and into the future.

?Therefore, the key to success in any area of your life is taking stock of what you have achieved right now before you can begin to plan your next steps.

For the purposes of the exercise, let’s concentrate specifically on the relationship between your personal life and your work/social pursuits. You will appreciate this can be adjusted to investigate the relationships between any and all aspects of your life.

?On the above bike there are two wheels …let’s call one your public and the other your personal life. In other words, the spokes of the front wheel represent issues/experiences at work and at ‘play’, and the spokes on the back wheel represent your personal life.

?Imagine the consequences to you if your back tyre punctured? What about the reverse? How well could the bike perform?

• ?Should these two key areas of your life be separated because something in your personal or work environment doesn’t form part of your overall life’s purpose?
• Or … ?is it through nurturing and developing both wheels together that a positive and fulfilling experience can be achieved.

?What would be the outcome of repeating this across all facets of your life?

You see, personal success is impossible in the absence of creating and maintaining a balanced life. Each piece of your world interacts and influences the others.

?In other words, if you concentrate on one specific area to the detriment of other aspects of your life it is possible that all of them will suffer.

?Your Mind is a Reflection of your Beliefs

?We all hold beliefs about how the world operates – what people do or say, how they act, why things happen as they do and so on. Most of these beliefs come from our family heritage. That is, from birth we have been exposed to our parents’ beliefs, then family, then fellow workers, friends and others.

Interestingly, we have the ability to make up our own minds, provided we conform to those underlying beliefs that underpin our very thinking and more so, our values.

?So, it is little wonder that we all too often hear comments like “you are the spitting image of your father” etc. Are you really in control of your beliefs and hence your responses/reactions to your experiences in life?

To an extent yes … but then no. It all depends on how strong a person you are, and how committed you are to make changes that you consider will serve you more effectively in the future.

?Take a moment to reflect on this as it relates to your approach to achieving what goals in life. On a piece of paper:

Consider one belief you hold re personal, work or social issues that:

• serves you well
• does not serve you well.

?You may wish to consider, for example, selecting beliefs you have about:

• how you interact with significant others
• learning new work-related skills
• engaging with your partner
• your ability / potential to grow as a person of value.

?Now, select one belief that does not serve you well and:

• modify the belief so that it is acceptable to and serves you ?????????????????????
• consider how modifying this belief could change you as a person with someone you trust and whose opinion and input you value.

You may find it useful to examine a number of beliefs, one at a time, and appreciate the differences between the ‘now’ and the ‘could be’.

More interestingly, what would happen if you examined the beliefs you have that are already serving you well and you are happy with, and put them through the same process??

?Here’s the thing – sometimes we need to recognise that some of our beliefs that aren’t working well are just ‘impossible’ to change, due to other influencing factors. So, if that’s the case, acknowledge that and let them be.

?At the same time, beliefs that are working to effect may benefit from a little more tweaking which may just lead to an even better outcome.

The moral of this story is that you need to be clear and strong when examining parts of ‘you’.

Have the insight to separate between what needs ‘fixing’ and what doesn’t, what can be ‘fixed’ and what can’t, and the ability and wisdom to act on this towards a positive outcome.

?Visualising Beliefs

?Many coaches are big fans of reinforcing beliefs though the power of visualisation. Activities such as these are best accommodated by utilising a quiet and relaxing spot, under a tree, in a cosy chair … in fact anywhere your mind can easily relax and be set free to do its work.

The activity goes something like this:

1. ?Consider a belief you wish to work on. Include a setting where this belief may be a key ingredient in influencing a desired outcome at that time (eg you are about to go to work, you are feeling frustrated because something in your relationship with your partner is again not working as well as you would like, you feel you could be more motivate to achieve, etc).
2. Write down how this belief could serve you well in the short term if worked on now – this would be relatable to your chosen setting.
3. In your own space and time, visualise it occurring, making it as real as you can.
4. Start by relaxing – direct attention inward.
5. Focus on the task at hand; around the belief you have pre-selected –positive language and imagery is useful here.
6. Seek to enhance your visualisation by being very clear on what it is you have to do to achieve your belief (above) – ie what is it you are attempting to achieve, and ensure you have a clear understanding of this in your mind.
7. Ensure you include all relevant sensory information in this exercise – feel, see, hear, appreciate the experience and the outcomes you seek to achieve.
8. Engage ‘being’ qualities and character traits you have identified as integral to the belief you are seeing to grow.
9. When visualising, consider the compelling inevitability of achieving success in this.
10. Immerse yourself in the colours, sounds and feelings associated with this experience.
11. Think of a past similar occasion … now place yourself in it with this improved belief and experience the difference.
12. Think of a future similar occasion where you will take advantage of this improved belief…experience the difference.
13. Embrace the notion of this belief being something you are comfortable with, and one which will create results.

?What were the key aspects to the experience that made it feel real for you? For some, this is a relatively easy exercise to undertake; for others it will take practice.

There is no right or wrong result – the experience will benefit you no matter how much ‘difference’ you perceive.

?Once you are comfortable with this process you can use it to work on any beliefs you hold, whether they be positive or limiting in nature.

You can be assured there will be changes to each belief once dealt with in this manner.

?Hopefully this will help you consider this approach to ‘mind training’ as an important part of your overall growth in life.

?Cloning Success

Modelling others is not always easy, especially for the majority of us. It can often lead to frustration because of indecision (ie ‘what are my beliefs’) / difficulty verbalising them / understanding how to accept change / committing to the process of change.

?Sometimes it can be useful to examine others you admire and see how they approach success. Select a person you believe has been successful (for example, it might be a family member or friend, a work colleague, a celebrity). On a sheet of paper consider that person’s ‘reasons’ for their success.

• ?Name your person (and area of success).
• What are the signs that person displays that lead you to believe they are successful?
• What skills / attributes does your person display?
• Can you suggest any attributes that might have been (still is) hindering even greater success?
• Can you identify any skills/attributes your person could enhance or could benefit from attaining?
• What can you take from this and put to good use in your world?

?Enough for now? For sure. The above activities will keep the serious ones amongst you busy for quite a while.

And remember, they are not activities that can be / need to be done only once.

Great champions re-visit such activities on a regular basis to ‘check in’ with their progress.

?A final thought to consider as you begin ‘attacking’ the above activities …

?Success is something that is created in the mind before it shows externally

in the various guises that other people can recognise … believe it or not!

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Want to learn more about how you can grow your self belief and excel as only you can?

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