Building Balpro: When passion trumps security

Dear corporate world

I’m leaving you. I’d say “it’s not you, it’s me”, but life’s too short for lies. And I know I’ve used that line in the past, I thought it was true, but I was confused. The thing is, in many ways you’ve been the most attractive partner I’ve ever had. 

Fancy travel pics on insta, palatable opinions that I can repeat with ease, a decent monthly allowance, fine dining, always attracting interesting people. I mean, you’ve been a great distraction, you’ve offered routine, security, tech support ... and of course, my mum loved you! She’s always been a sucker for her kids being “safe”. 

But I’ve realised some of your jokes weren’t so funny. I’ve realised my admiration for you clouded my freedom of thought. I’ve realised you were hurting me, and those around me. And don’t get sad, I know you didn’t mean to. But it’s time for me to break free.

I do hope that we can stay friends, the thing is, now that I’ve had some space I’ve realised I’ve learnt some really cool stuff along the way. You always believed in me and now I believe in myself - so thank you. And corporate world, you know what? I’ve realised I can actually help you.

We’re not always going to agree. But despite me going off and creating my own path, know that I’ve only done it so that one day, we can be back together again. And we can both be so much better for it. 

All my love, 

Amber - Founder of Balpro 

Throwback: Where did it all come from

For those who are here for the first time, “Hi, I’m Amber and I had a mental breakdown.''.  It happened both all of a sudden and over a long period of time. Hindsight is 20/20. For the sake of brevity, I’ll summarise: I was working really f*cking hard in a job that I loved, for a company that I felt extremely connected to. I started as regional employee #6 back when we were valued at $100m and helped grow that company to 2,500 employees, through an acquisition of $3.7bn, and then helped lead the M&A integration. I did this whilst tackling imposter syndrome (before I knew what that was), ambient anxiety (again - no idea) and by making a few too many sacrifices along the way. 

Finally, after a period of ignoring the fact that I was “sick and tired of feeling sick and tired,'' my body and brain shut down. I couldn’t walk or talk properly, couldn’t concentrate, abdominal pains, weird rashes, chronic fatigue, migraines, bla, bla, bla! I’d burnt out, took two weeks off sick after being misdiagnosed with glandular fever, and finally returned to work six months later.

Nowadays, I breeze through this story so often and with such ease that I find myself having to remind myself: It. Was. Hell. 

The silver lining, the hope that I clung to through this fight back to “normal”, was that one day I would be able to help prevent others from getting into a similar mess. So I shared my story, joined mental health communities, rolled out mental wellness initiatives, fundraised for Mind, presented at startups and corporates, became a SHOUT crisis volunteer... But something was still feeling unresolved.

What I realised after diving into that personal “calling”, was that it opened up a professional one too. I kept coming back to the fact that my sickness came at a huge cost to the company. Not just in wages, but the associated costs that come from the absence of leadership and expertise. And, like the work that needs to be done to safeguard people, we need to look at easing that business burden too. 

Leaving the corporate world: Coming out of the shadows 

For a long time, I was surrounded by smart, successful, opinionated people. In hindsight, I’d been operating in a bit of an echo chamber, and as the reverberations softened, I realised that my views were different. It’s impossible to go through accelerated career growth and a mental breakdown, and then stay the same. 

This experience solidified my beliefs around what a workplace should be like. Not just for the sake of the people, but to benefit the business too. I realised that work and life must coexist in a far better way. It’s the difference between sustainable growth and a few good quarters, it’s the difference between life and death. 

I knew it was time to come out of the shadows, I knew I was on to something really important, I knew it was time to truly create.

So what’s Balpro then?

I’m gonna break the rules here and say, “I don’t really know.” It's not long been born, and (in part) I’m still working it out. In three years, I have no doubt that I’ll be saying exactly the same thing. A company, like a person, is rarely just one thing. And it evolves, or… well, dies. 

I know enough to get started though, to “be the change”. To start helping that corporate world that’s been such an enormous part of my life, and to start helping others who are feeling suffocated by the constant feeling of wanting to have it all, and also just wanting to sleep. 

The name “Balpro” comes from The Balance Project, the first venture for this beautiful company. It’s launched with two carefully crafted offerings that blend expert consultancy with coaching.

• My business needs balance - Best suited for sales led companies who are trying to meet aggressive revenue goals but recognise their most valuable commodity is their people. 
• I need balance - Perfect for those who have the burning desire of a high flying career but have a nagging feeling that there’s more to life and it’s being neglected. 

Today, the business is a service-led organisation (aka. me!), something that I have big plans to change. I’ve started building a partner network - collaboration being key to a successful startup. I also have plans of integrating software into the core of what we’re doing - Who runs the world? Girls Data. (But, yeah, also girls).

I see you, I hear you, I feel you  

I’m building Balpro for those who are struggling, lonely, frustrated, exhausted, restless, and unapologetically ambitious - you are not as alone as you feel. It’s for those who are hopelessly unmotivated, unable to concentrate and have lost their mojo - but HATE that. For the strong ones who look like they really have their shit together, are always there for others, but feel like they’re living a lie. For the ones who are giving it their all, but have no idea what success looks like or how to get there. For those who know that “greatness” is multidimensional.

It’s for the founders who are desperate to look after their people but know that “keeping the lights on” is the foundation, and that balance feels out of reach. For the managers that feel like they’re letting their team down, but just don’t have the time. For the HR and people leads who feel guilty sticking up posters saying, “it’s safe to talk” knowing it’s a lie.

Balpro is giving a voice to those things we don’t want to say, don’t have time to think about, can’t commit to. But know we must.

For those who want more, but fear they have nothing left to give. 

Spoiler: You have so much more to give.