Build A Tradition

When I was getting my toddler dressed this morning, he pulled his fleece out of the clean clothes pile and announced that he wanted to put it on — because he wanted to go to the ice cream place.

He’s talking about Day’s Ice Cream in Ocean Grove, New Jersey. We recently spent a week in this little town on the Jersey shore, something we have done a majority of summers since 2006. Most nights, we walk to get ice cream after dinner, and the ocean breezes can be cool after the sun goes down. So the fleece is helpful. Especially if you’re eating ice cream!?

It is fun to see my fifth child be folded into this family tradition (and even into the fleece! All three of his older brothers have worn this blue 2T model). We didn’t know, when my husband and I drove south from New York one day almost two decades ago in search of a beach, and found this cute little spot full of Victorian houses, and later decided to try renting a house for a week there, that it would become such a part of our lives. But that’s how most traditions start. You do something once, and it seems good, and you do it again. Soon, it is something you always do.?

It’s an organic process. But we can nudge the process along — and I think it’s worth nudging the process along, because traditions give us a sense of our identity. This is our beach. We are a family who eats a lot of ice cream! We start looking forward to these traditions, which give shape to our time. Every time you do the tradition, it is a chance to remember how you’ve previously done the tradition, which cements memories in place. They don’t disappear like sands in an hourglass (or like a sandcastle washing away at high tide).?

So if you see yourself or your family doing something fairly frequently, why not try doing it more regularly? What could you do to formalize it? No detail is too small to become more sacred. Call attention to it. Variety is wonderful, and one reason we don’t spend the whole summer at the beach is that we like to try new adventures too. But something like a beach trip, done once a year, can be novel enough to be an adventure each time, but comforting enough to feel like home. It really is the best of both worlds.

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