Build self-confidence

The first step towards improving how you handle self-confidence involves learning to own the situation. This just means you'll strive to understand and except the fact that ultimately you are responsible for how you feel about yourself. 

Sometimes a similar reaction happens but in the opposite direction. You find yourself questioning your abilities, but instead of feeling self-pity or some other negative thought about yourself, you look at others. Maybe you decide you feel this way only because of your abrasive colleague, or that completely unreasonable boss, or maybe that client who is never happy. That's called blame, and blaming never solves anything. It does, however, give you an excuse to not fully own your contribution to how you feel, so be careful. 

All right, to own your situation means that you must embrace a policy of personal responsibility. Know that you are driving progress in your life. This approach ensures that you are your biggest advocate for change and improvement, and that your growth isn't really dependent on others. Excepting this idea seriously increases your odds of maintaining strong self-confidence over time. However, I do want to remind you to be careful. Taking ownership and being responsible does not mean that you should blame yourself or be overly critical of yourself. No self-pity allowed. 

When your self-confidence takes a hit, never begin by thinking that you are the one and only reason for what happened. Remember, that every outcome is the result of multiple factors, you're only one. Besides, if you overindulge in negative thoughts about yourself, it becomes easier to make the same choice in the future. Okay, you've accepted responsibility, and I do know that can feel like a burden sometimes. 

So, I want you to do two quick things. The first is to acknowledge your self-worth. You are valuable, you're a unique person with a lot to offer given all of your experience, education, and training. You work hard, you're creative, you're a good colleague, and you've had a few recent wins at work. It only takes a couple of minutes to remind yourself that no matter how the current situation feels, you are a highly value-added person who will bounce back. 

Second, you must commit to getting stronger. I don't want you to believe in personal responsibility without also spending some time thinking about how you will work to maintain a healthy level of self-confidence. This means a focus on the behaviors that will help you achieve this goal. Every great goal needs a clear plan, so now it's time to start working on yours. 

There you have it. Stop looking elsewhere so you can look right in the mirror at yourself. When you really own how you feel, remember your self-worth and commit to getting better. Well, that's when you're ready to start building more self-confidence.