Build and Nurture a Transformational Mentoring Relationship
Jeff Perry
I help experienced engineers intentionally upgrade their careers and find increased income, alignment, and fulfillment - guaranteed | ?? Author | ?? Speaker/Trainer | ?? Light Bringer | ?? Family Man | DM to Learn More
Happy New Year! As we settle into this new year, it’s good to have mentors and supporters on your team.?
In the last newsletter, we discussed how to find a great mentor.?
This week we’re talking all about how to start and nurture that relationship so it is meaningful and transformational.
Make the Ask
“If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” — Isaac Newton
Once you have a few people who might be a good fit, it’s time to make the connection!
Don’t overcomplicate this step. Here are a few tips:
You can send an email, LinkedIn message, make a phone call, stop by the office, or just happen to connect with them in some shared setting - no matter where or how you make the ask, you simply need to start somewhere.
But it’s good to ask for something personal, just 1:1. If you’re not in the same location, set up a phone call or virtual meeting. Whatever works. Just take action.
If the first person you ask doesn’t respond or says no - not a big deal! There are others out there!
And by the way - if you ask through digital communication like email, follow up a couple of times before you assume they don’t want to connect with you. Many people are just busy and miss messages!
Make the ask, and get the ball rolling!
Nurturing the Mentoring Relationship
If the initial meeting goes well and the mentor seems open to continuing the relationship, have an open discussion about expectations and goals. Clarify factors like:
Establishing these parameters upfront helps ensure you’re both on the same page and can optimize the value of the mentorship. It’s helpful to also understand that these commitments will likely adjust over time, so be flexible. This is a good time to be mindful of the many constraints and priorities your mentor has, so having this conversation can really help you know their boundaries for the relationship.
Building a transformative mentoring relationship is an ongoing process that requires consistent effort and investment from both parties. As the mentee, it’s crucial that you take an active, rather than passive, role in driving the relationship forward. This is a process - not everything will be smooth sailing from the start. You and your mentor will learn about each other and clarify your relationship over time. Do your part to nurture it.
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Schedule regular meetings, whether in-person, virtually, or over the phone. Come prepared with updates on your progress, questions you’d like to explore, or challenges you’re facing. Be ready to share insights and lessons you’ve learned since your last conversation.
Throughout your interactions, maintain a spirit of humility and a genuine desire to learn. Avoid the temptation to turn the mentorship into a one-way street where you’re simply extracting advice or favors. Look for ways you can provide value to your mentor as well, whether that’s offering to assist with a project, introducing them to a valuable contact, or simply expressing heartfelt gratitude.
The more you can make your mentor feel appreciated, respected, and integral to your success, the more they’ll be motivated to invest in you. Additionally, be open to feedback, even when it’s difficult to hear. Great mentors aren’t afraid to challenge you and push you to grow in new directions.
Expressing Gratitude
One of the most meaningful ways to maintain a strong mentor-mentee relationship is to regularly express your gratitude. Thank your mentor for their time, their insights, and the ways in which they’ve helped you grow. This can be done through handwritten notes, small gifts, or even public recognition, depending on your mentor’s preferences.
Sharing specific examples of how your mentor’s guidance has impacted you, whether professionally or personally, can make the appreciation feel more meaningful and sincere. Your mentor likely derives a great deal of satisfaction from seeing your progress, so don’t hesitate to share your wins and successes with them.
Additionally, consider ways you can pay it forward by becoming a mentor yourself or supporting your mentor’s own goals and initiatives. Demonstrating that you’ve internalized their lessons and are actively applying them can be incredibly rewarding for a mentor.
Conclusion
The journey of building a powerful mentoring relationship requires patience, vulnerability, and a willingness to step outside your comfort zone. But the dividends it can pay in terms of your career growth, personal development, and long-term success make it a worthy investment of your time and energy. Embrace the opportunity to learn from those who have walked the path before you, and watch as your mentorship blossoms into a transformative source of guidance and support.
Take Intentional Action
Do you have a mentor now? Is there someone you think would make a great mentor?
Reach out to them!
If it’s been a while since you have connected, set up another time. If you have regular chats with a mentor, make the next one the best meeting you’ve ever had. If you are seeking a new mentoring relationship, initiate the connection and see if you can meet.
Whatever is the next right step, take it this week!
Accelerate Your Progress
This newsletter is an adapted excerpt from my newly released book, The Intentional Career Guide to Professional Networking.
So grab a copy of it, and if you are interested in being an early reader and becoming part of the “Book Army” to help launch it as well as the rest of the Intentional Career Guide series, sign up at https://www.intentionalcareerguide.com/bookarmy.
You can also find more related resources, courses, and more of The Intentional Career Guide at www.intentionalcareerguide.com.