Build new habits, don’t break old ones
All of us have things in our lives that we would like to change.
Some of us bite our nails. Some of us skip breakfast. Some of us procrastinate.
The list of bad habits we have is literally endless.
In response, we spend time and effort trying to break these habits. And as all of us know from personal experience, for the most part, it is us that breaks before the habit.
A different perspective
However, what if we thought about the problem of habits differently? What if we re-framed it as building new habits, instead of breaking old ones?
Trying to stop doing something that we do on autopilot requires a lot of effort. This can sometimes be referred to as using our will power.
Some recent research has suggested that will power is a finite resource.
Or in other words, the more we try to resist, that harder it becomes to resist, until the point when we give in.
We start strong, but end up weak and deflated.
A positive approach
The problem is not the mental or physical capacity of this ethereal concept of will power. But rather we find it tiring and frustrating saying “No” all the time.
Just like we feel bad when someone else nags us, this self-nagging leads us to feel demotivated, lethargic and fed up with the whole exercise.
As a result, we reach straight for the thing or action that feels familiar and brings us comfort.
To help you on your way to building new habits, here are three useful rules.
Rule #1 — Identify the positive action or outcome you desire.
Instead of saying, “I wish I could stop biting my nails”, re-frame the outcome to be desirable.
“I want to have long nails so I can get a manicure with the girls”
or
“I want to have strong nails, so I can improve my guitar finger picking technique”.
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Focusing on a desired, positive outcome gives you something to focus on and aim towards.
You are rewarding yourself, rather than punishing yourself.
Rule #2 — Start small and build your new habit
Like any large and difficult task, the best method is to break it down into smaller, manageable tasks. These smaller tasks can then be achieved over time, compounding into a larger end result.
So if you want to “stop wasting money on rubbish and unneeded stuff”, first of all you need to implement step one. Focus instead on what investment, nice thing or luxury you wish to save for.
Then start small. Take 10% of your current monthly spend and separate it out into a separate account, straight away after pay day.
Do that for a few weeks, or months. Then increase it to 15%.
Then after a few more weeks, to 20%.
Gradually over time, your little fund will grow. Now is time to go to step 3!
Rule #3 — Celebrate your progress and success
Once you start to build your new habit. Make sure and stop regularly to recognize the achievements, no matter how small.
Celebrating your success has two great benefits.
Firstly, it allows you to stop and take stock of what you have achieved. Taking time to appreciate and recognize your progress, will reinforce the fact that it is actually working and you are moving towards your goal.
Secondly, it gives you a break. It gives you a chance to stop and take breather. Building anything new is a tiring process. So stopping regularly to appreciate what you have done, reward yourself, re-motivate and refocusing will ensure you are ready to take on the next stage.
You can take the time to remind yourself why you started off on this journey in the first place.
Final Thoughts
Hopefully you have seen that moving away from old habits, doesn’t have to be a journey of doom, gloom, self-sacrifice and deprivation.
Looking forward and upward on the benefits you will gain from your new habits and behaviors.
Follow the simple 3 step process of setting a positive goal, starting small and making regular check ins, will move you off in the right direction.
So what are you going to do today to build new, positive habits that lead you away from the old destructive ones?
Thanks for reading!