Build a life that is a portfolio of steady enthusiasm.

F.Scott Fitzgerald has been referenced as someone who said, "we go through life with a diminishing portfolio of enthusiams" and it made me feel terrible that one should go through life with this perspective! I have since been reflecting about this thought and wondered how to circumnavigate that possibility.

My learning from Vipassana meditation taught me about "the middle path" and each time we go for a yoga practice, we are reminded to center our breaths. So instead of a life of asceticism or self-indulgence, I think it makes sense that,

we design a life that brings us a steady pace of enthusiasm.

Which means a life that builds self-awareness and consistent moments of joy to self. And because we have a million things thrown at our faces on a daily basis - from parenting responsibilities to work responsibilities to trying to not kill our house pet - there is no time in making big gestures.

I narrow it down to 3 small things that bring me consistent joy and thus a set of steady enthusiasms. No matter where in the world I might be; or how bad of an emotional hole I might be in, these 3 tools help me always:

1. Identify a happy food for you. Ideally the cheaper the better.

?? Ice cream is the #1 happy food for me. Although I am someone who likes the finer things in life, I also very much appreciate an old-school ice cream cone. Whether it is the tuk-tuk rickshaw uncles / aunties we see along the streets of Singapore selling ice cream out from a motorcycle; or the S$15 a tub bougie, small-batch, dairy-free ice cream;

the S$1 麦当劳 ice cream cone is my go-to happy food.

My childhood memories of going to McDonald's with my cousins and my grandfather have cemented for me happy and contented memories that especially if I am in an emotional hole at that moment, being able to buy a S$1 vanilla McDonald's ice cream cone makes me feel that life is ok and the golden arches will beam once again.

2. Identify an outdoor activity that calms your mind.

?? The sound of waves have a calming effect on me and my dream home would be one that has direct access to a beach whilst in proximity to the city center. Geographically I am not sure where that lands me at; but whenever I feel overwhelmed in life, I find myself heading towards the nearest beachfront trail and I will take an evening walk - listening to the sounds of waves splashing against the rocks as I lull my mind to the swish and swoosh of the rhythmic waves.

Walking is the outdoor activity that helps me calm my mind. The fact that it does not cost S$ and I get to accrue my steps count too, that is why I doubly like this.

3. Friends or family that I feel safe speaking to.

Learning to open up and share my feelings (when I can identify the words to describe them succinctly) is something I struggle with. Primarily because I have been so accustomed to solo-solutioning, my default is to think through why something had happened and to work out solutions that can prevent / mitigate those roadblocks. Hence it is not a natural instinct for me to share externally about the emotional challenges I experience.

As I grow older, I realised that solo-solutioning is not the most efficient way to solve things as I will only get better when I communicate externally, in addition to the internal comms that happen in my head.

Perhaps that is why I am turning to writing #FridayFeels as a form of therapy for myself, whilst also sharing and crowdsourcing solutions in a manner that I feel comfortable with. Feeling safe from judgement and knowing that the person(s) I am sharing vulnerability with accepts me for who I am, is a deeply connecting and steadying force.

And I hope these 3 suggestions can help you design and build a life that is a portfolio collection of steady enthusiasm.