Build Identity Based Habits

I was facing an identity crisis.

I realize now.

In October 2015, I started working for a startup - an HR Consulting Firm.

I was among the first few members in the team.

I was handling business development, customer acquisition, branding, marketing… (you handle multiple roles in a startup!)  

That was my first job. 

I started my career at the age of 41! (being a homemaker is not a career option- that’s for another post)

Everything around me was overwhelmingly challenging (taking creative liberty here :) ), I was suddenly put on an accelerated on-the-job learning mode. 

Overwhelming because I struggled to do all of it while remaining a full-time homemaker (no maids scenario). 

Though I was offered flexi working hours, it was getting tougher each day as I thought I wasn’t doing justice to my work. 

I wasn’t devoting sufficient time. 

I wasn’t delivering results.

I started giving excuses…

Maybe it’s not in me. 

I am not a qualified HR/Sales professional.

I am not cut out to be a career woman.

This is all new. 

That’s when my friend and mentor pointed out to me.

He asked me “Because of your job do you ever fail to miss out on any part of your homemaker routine/responsibility?”

I said “never”

He said “You think, you can’t succeed as a career woman. You struggle with your new job roles. This is because in your head you are a homemaker. That’s your identity.”

Before I got upset, he explained 

I had become an outcome of my habits.

Habits I followed for more than 2 decades that made me an excellent homemaker. 

Small habits that helped me cook fresh tasty meal always on time.

To keep the house clean, tidy and organized.

To be a perfect host and so on.

Your habits is how you embody your identity.

Set of beliefs that shapes the identity, the system. 

I realised that I need to edit my belief system.

I needed to accept my identity evolving as a career woman.

Once I embodied that, I consciously or non-consciously started building habits to help me become one.

I started focusing on what I want to do in my professional life.

Questions such as what I am good at? What do I enjoy doing? What is my mission? etc.

That exploration led me to a learning path and I realised coaching is what I am good at.

Helping people achieve their goals is my mission.

I understand LinkedIn Platform pretty well.

That is when I started coaching and consulting on How to build your Personal Brand on LinkedIn.

Behavior change = Identity change 

Your identity emerges through your habits. 

To change who you are is to change what you do.

Who you want to become?

What you want to do for that?

Answer these questions and you will get what you want.

Do you agree?

Do share your thoughts.