Build Bridges, and Other Actions for?Allies

Each week, Karen Catlin shares five simple actions to create a more inclusive workplace and be a better?ally.

1. Build?bridges

A friend recently asked me how I think allyship might evolve in the near future. It was just days before the U.S. presidential election, which was weighing heavily on my mind.

I explained that given how divided our country is politically, as are many countries, I’m hopeful that the foundational elements of allyship will serve us well moving forward.

I then shared this story:

A few weeks ago, a candidate for a local election came to my church on a Sunday morning. Before the service started, she introduced herself to some parishioners and eventually reached where my husband and I were seated. As she said hello and handed her business card to me, I asked her what political party she was affiliated with. When she answered, I handed the card back and explained that I wouldn’t be voting for her.

That could have been the end of the conversation.

But then I remembered the advice I regularly give in my newsletter, talks, and workshops: Be curious, not furious about others’ thoughts and actions.

So I said, “But I’d like to understand what the most important issue is for you and your party.”

We had a short conversation where she shared the top issue she cares about, and I told her mine.

We didn’t agree, but we had a bridge of understanding. Perhaps a narrow one, but a connection nonetheless.

Share this action on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Threads, or YouTube.

2. Believe others’ experiences

As I was scrolling through Instagram over the weekend, I came across this clever comic by Nathan W Pyle . It’s a four-panel comic featuring two eagles sitting in armchairs. One holds a cup of tea or coffee, and the other reads a newspaper.

In the first panel, one eagle asks, “Do you think the owl is a predator?” The other responds in the second panel, “Of course not. He’s never bothered me.” The first one replies, “Exactly.” In the third panel, the eagles continue sipping the warm beverage and reading the paper. Then, in the fourth panel, the first eagle says, “No idea what Mr. Mouse was going on about,” implying that they do not see the owl as a threat because it does not prey on them.

We all have perspectives that are shaped by our own lives, which can make it difficult to imagine or understand all of the other viewpoints that exist in the world. Perspectives that were formed by someone else’s lived experiences. Viewpoints that come from those who are different from us.

Yet, as better allies, we need to believe others’ experiences. We shouldn’t assume something couldn’t happen just because we haven’t personally experienced it.

And then figure out steps to take to support them.

3. Address the behavior (not their character)

In honor of Transgender Awareness Week, observed November 13 to November 19, here’s advice from PFLAG National ’s Guide to Being An Ally to Trans and Nonbinary People: When witnessing bias against transgender people, address the behavior without attacking the person’s character.

Hear someone use an offensive slur to talk about transgender people? You can respond with, “The word you used is not okay.” Or “The misinformation you shared really bothered me.”

And steer clear of accusing the person of being transphobic or bigoted.

The guide points out, “Behavior can and should be addressed, because it’s something that people can correct?—?but they likely won’t be inclined to if you’ve called them names in front of a large group of people, or made broad generalizations about who they are based on a single action.”

4. Check hiring tools for?bias

As the saying goes, “Bias in, bias out.”

Do you use digital tools with artificial intelligence to process job applications? A new study from the University of Washington found, perhaps unsurprisingly, that A.I. overwhelmingly prefers white and male job candidates.

A key part of allyship is being willing to challenge assumptions and asking “why” questions to expose potential biases. As better allies, we should apply this same approach to A.I. For example, “I wonder why we’re not getting resumes for people of color?”

If we notice a missing demographic, we should investigate the reasons behind this pattern and advocate for adjustments to the algorithm to ensure fairness. Or recommend against using the tool moving forward.

(Thanks to my friend Mason Woo for bringing this article to my attention.)

5. Community Spotlight: Identify a favorite?phrase

This week’s spotlight on an ally action is from a subscriber who wrote,

“Because of your newsletter, I keep a few key phrases on a sticky note for those uncomfortable moments when I’m not sure what to say or do, like ‘Ouch’ and ‘What makes you say that?’”

I do, too!

Looking for more ways to speak up when you witness non-inclusive behavior? Seed The Way, a firm focused on anti-bias curricula and equity literacy for educators, recommends calling out bias when we need to let someone know that their words or actions are unacceptable and will not be tolerated. Or when we need to interrupt to prevent further harm.

They provide a handout with suggested phrases. Perhaps it contains your favorite new phrase to use the next time you need to interrupt bias.

If you’ve taken a step towards being a better ally, please leave a comment or DM me. And mention if I can quote you by name or credit you anonymously in an upcoming newsletter.

That’s all for this week. I wish you strength and safety as we all move forward.

— Karen Catlin (she/her), author of the Better Allies? book series

Copyright ? 2024 Karen Catlin. All rights reserved.

Being an ally is a journey. Want to join us?

• Follow @BetterAllies on Facebook, Instagram, Medium, Threads, or YouTube. Or follow Karen Catlin on LinkedIn
• Read the Better Allies books
• Form a Better Allies book club
• Get your Better Allies gear
• Tell someone about these resources

Together, we can?—?and will?—?make a difference with the Better Allies? approach.