Buffers

Recently, someone told me they felt sorry for my generation for "raw dogging" life the way we do. When I finally understood the meaning of that phrase, it hit me in two ways: first, the fact that I was unfamiliar with the term, and second, the realization that there's now a generation after mine. Both facts made me feel a bit older than I expected. Once I got past the subtle reminder that I am now old, I started to wonder — what exactly does a Gen Z feel I need protection from in life? And what kind of protection could possibly shield me from it? While I'll save those thoughts for another discussion, it got me thinking about how so many of us design our lives to avoid the very challenges that help us grow, like the pain of rejection. These avoidance mechanisms are what I call buffers, and in this article, I'll explore how salespeople use these buffers to dodge the discomfort of rejection — and how, in doing so, they inadvertently limit their own performance and growth.

Rejection

Rejection is a part of life, especially in sales, where hearing "no" is often more common than hearing "yes." As salespeople, we thrive on connection, success, and, ultimately, closing the deal. But lurking beneath the surface is a powerful force that holds many of us back: the fear of rejection. This fear leads to the creation of buffers—psychological defenses we use to shield ourselves from the pain of hearing "no."

Let’s explore some of these common buffers and how they prevent us from achieving the success we’re capable of.

The Email Buffer

Emails are a convenient way to reach out to prospects, but for many salespeople, they become a crutch. Why pick up the phone or walk into an office when you can send a well-crafted email? The truth is, emails are a safe space. They protect us from the immediate sting of rejection that can come from a direct conversation. But over-reliance on email can lead to missed opportunities. There’s a reason why phone calls and face-to-face meetings close more deals—they build rapport, create trust, and give you the chance to respond to objections in real time. By hiding behind emails, we avoid rejection, but we also avoid success.

The "Friend Zone" Buffer

Just like in dating, many salespeople fall into the trap of the "friend zone" with their prospects. We stay in touch, offer advice, and check in regularly, but we never push for the close. Why? Because asking for the sale risks rejection. By staying in the friend zone, we keep the relationship safe and rejection at bay. However, this approach leads to a stagnant pipeline and missed targets. Prospects need solutions, not just friends. The sooner we get comfortable asking for the sale, the sooner we’ll see results.

The Long-Distance Relationship Buffer

Sometimes, salespeople hold on to distant prospects, much like people cling to long-distance relationships. We convince ourselves that they’re worth the wait, even if they’re not ready to buy now. This is a buffer against the fear of losing a potential deal, even if that deal may never close. While it’s important to nurture long-term leads, we must recognize when it’s time to move on and focus on prospects who are closer to making a decision. Otherwise, we risk wasting valuable time and resources on leads that will never convert.

The Overqualification Buffer

How often do we tell ourselves, "I’m just not ready for that big account," or "I need more experience before I can go after that high-value client"? This is the overqualification buffer in action. We avoid reaching out to big prospects because we fear they’ll see through us and reject our pitch. But this mindset limits our potential. The truth is, there will never be a perfect time or perfect qualifications—what matters is taking the leap and learning along the way. Remember, rejection is a part of growth, and the biggest wins often come from taking the biggest risks.

The Digital Communication Buffer

In today’s digital age, it’s easy to rely on texts, social media messages, or LinkedIn connections to communicate with prospects. While these tools are useful, they can also serve as a buffer against more direct forms of engagement. Just like the email buffer, digital communication can feel safer because it’s less personal. However, the most successful salespeople know that building real relationships requires more than just a LinkedIn message—it requires picking up the phone, meeting in person, and sometimes, facing rejection head-on.

The Ideal Client Buffer

We all have an image of the "perfect client" in our minds, and sometimes, this idealization becomes a buffer against rejection. We convince ourselves that we’re holding out for the perfect opportunity, but in reality, we’re just avoiding the possibility of failure. The danger of this buffer is that it leads to a scarcity mindset—where we fixate on finding the "right" client instead of exploring all potential opportunities. The truth is, there’s no such thing as a perfect client, and by holding out for one, we miss out on the many good clients that could have been great.

The Low Standards Buffer

On the flip side of idealization is the low standards buffer. This occurs when we settle for less because we’re afraid we won’t get anything better. We take on clients who don’t value our services, agree to unfavorable terms, or chase after small deals because we’re afraid of aiming higher and being rejected. But by setting low standards, we limit our own potential. It’s better to face rejection while striving for greatness than to achieve mediocrity by settling.

The Procrastination Buffer

Procrastination is one of the most common buffers in sales. We delay making that call, sending that email, or asking for the meeting because we’re afraid of what might happen. What if they say no? What if they don’t respond? What if I’m not ready? Procrastination gives us a temporary escape from the fear of rejection, but it also prevents us from moving forward. The only way to overcome this buffer is to take action, even if it means facing rejection. Because in the end, rejection is better than regret.

Embrace Rejection, Embrace Success

Buffers may protect us from the immediate pain of rejection, but they also hold us back from achieving our true potential. Feeling the burn of a stove is a painful experience but nothing teaches you better than that pain. Rejection is a natural part of sales, and the most successful salespeople are those who embrace it, learn from it, and grow stronger because of it. The next time you catch yourself using a buffer, ask yourself: Is this protecting me, or is it holding me back? The answer might just be the key to unlocking your full potential.

Remember, rejection is temporary, but regret lasts a lifetime. Life is a full-contact sport, you cannot play it without getting dirty. Take the risks, face the rejection, because champions are only chosen from contenders.