Bucking the Fame Game...

We live in the era of get rich quick and get famous quick where we celebrate 30 under 30 and 40 under 40 that idolize success at a young age. India is believed to be at the stage of its evolution where China was 30 years back when the disposable incomes in the country rose dramatically leading to many entrepreneurial opportunities for youngsters in the country. India used to have many industrialists who either inherited wealth or leveraged political network to run large corporate empires. For a change, we are witnessing self-made entrepreneurs and this is giving hope to a whole new young India who believe in the power of ideas and the ability to build something new without having to work for others. While these are all encouraging trends, the unintentional consequence has also been on creating inflated expectations. While in the past it was considered perfectly ok to do well at your work, upgrade yourself and grow steadily to a top role by the time you are in your 50s, we are witnessing a rush to get to the top that is often unhealthy and leads to mental health problems.

In the past, success stories of the young originated from people who had a specific talent – sports, acting or singing. In the past 2 decades, we have seen emergence of new categories of success amongst youth – entrepreneurs and social media influencers. The youth who feature in new categories of success stories are not just leveraging an inborn talent, rather people like you and me who worked hard on a dream to make it big. In other words, these people and their stories are more relatable.

What is it about other’s success stories that either inspires us or deflates us? The more relatable the successful person is, the more you feel jealous in their success. Success stories were always celebrated except that the mass communication channels like TV and Radio were good at celebrating success of few out performers who achieved big milestones. Social media has been able to personalize content to show success stories of people who are more relatable to us. While this has increased engagement levels, this has also led to more relatable success stories which more often than not leave people feeling deflated than inspired. The rise of influencer culture has also contributed to the idea that huge success can happen at a young age though the stark reality is that these success stories are a very small minority. However, this minority are the most visible and people then use them as a benchmark to define success and assess their self-worth. When your media consumption is dominated with success stories of the young, it’s natural to see yourself as a failure by comparison.

Here are 5 reasons why you might want to pace your success:

#1. “Time and health are two precious assets that we don’t recognize and appreciate until they have been depleted” – Denis Waitley

Young entrepreneurs talk about how they put blood, sweat and tears into building their enterprise and often had to compromise their health and relationships. Having done this in the context of a startup I worked for, I know how drained of energy I felt and the damage that it did to my health was long-lasting. When you are young, it is easy to overlook the habits that contribute to good physical and mental well-being. No amount of money can buy you the wellness that your trade-off to accelerate your success.

#2. “It’s never too late to be what you might have been” – George Eliot

The success stories of young millennials and their unicorns has generated an increasing sense of it being now or never. Research has proven that being in the right place at the right time is one of the most important inputs in a startup’s success and given this, many entrepreneurs feel that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity (given the digital transformation underway in many industries) to create new ventures. However successful entrepreneurs would tell you that there is only one way to get the timing right – iteration. You try many things until you find pivot to something that is at the right place at the right time. Being late is often better than being early. It is difficult to create a market that does not exist as it requires changing user behavior while it is easier to carve your niche in a market that already exists. As a coach and entrepreneur, my wife realized this when she started her venture as an independent life and career coach. Contrary to popular wisdom, the average age of a successful entrepreneur is 45 years (source: MIT research).

#3. “Life is a journey, not a destination” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Youtube has been a source of many self-made careers. Entertainment and Education are the two types of content that attract subscribers in youtube. A lot of people get inspired to create videos on youtube with the allure of passive income. There are millions of creators on youtube, yet there are few who make millions. A simple rule of thumb to decide whether you should invest your time in making youtube videos is whether you enjoy the content creation process or if it is only the prospect of likes and subscribers that you enjoy. If you enjoy content creation, you are more likely to persist at it irrespective of the outcome and the more you persist, the more you learn and higher the likelihood of your content winning viewer’s hearts and eventually winning you subscribers. The same philosophy applies in your job as well. When you are conflicted about what role to pick up next, you should look at the elements of your job that you really enjoy doing. If you pick up an opportunity that entails more of enjoyable activities, the higher the likelihood of your success.

#4. “Long-term consistency trumps short-term intensity” – Bruce Lee

In my late 20s as a new people manager, I saw myself applying differential standards to projects that had tight deadlines. This often led to inconsistent standards in our delivery leading to inconsistent results. It took a while before I paused to consider pacing myself and setting more realistic deadlines that allowed for consistently high standards thus trading off short-term intensity for long-term consistency. Applying this framework to your own career, it is good to be stubborn on your long-term aspiration but flexible on the details. You need to work backwards from your long-term aspiration to determine the skills and knowledge base that you need to acquire. This will guide you in making decisions on where to invest your energy by filtering the opportunities from the distractions.

#5. “The fear of missing out can lead you to miss out on something even greater: the life that you truly desire” – Aili Kuutan

When I was in the startup ecosystem in India, I saw many talented people jumping ships across startups due to the fear of missing out (FOMO) with the hope that this new startup could be the next big thing even when they were offered less impactful, less challenging roles. The need for accelerated growth combined with FOMO can impede your judgment. A framework that I use to evaluate new opportunities is whether I have generated enough impact in my current role that I am proud of and whether in the new role, I would be able to upgrade my skills or domain knowledge in sync with my long-term aspiration. Unless the answer to both questions is affirmative, I would not consider the new opportunity, not matter how shiny it appears.

To summarize, pacing your success to play the long game might not be glamorous but an assured way to have a balanced life with healthy relationships, good physical and mental health and an enjoyable journey.

What does it entail to play the long game?

We need to deconstruct the myth of success which is being presented to us. We need to take a step back and realize that what we get to see is only the tip of the iceberg. We do not see the struggle, the hard work or the many failures that may have led to this moment of success.

Playing the long game starts with answering the following 3 questions specific to you:

1.??????What is your long-term aspiration?

2.??????What skills, knowledge and expertise do you need to achieve your aspiration?

3.??????How can you acquire the skills, knowledge and expertise required?

There are careers in which the long game is inbuilt in the very nature of the profession. Examples would include the vertical progression path in consultancy companies, military or civil services. In other places, the path is not so evident and you need to carve out the path yourself.

If it is so easy to have assured success, why don’t people follow this path?

It takes some experimentation in life and career before we realize what we want to do in long term. For many, they stop questioning and thinking by this stage and hence never answer Q1. The ones who answer Q1 may not always have the support or network to help them answer Q2. Amongst the ones that answer Q1 and Q2, Q3 might mean a pivot in their career or a change in direction. This may involve short-term pain that many would not be in a position to bear. Last but not the least, it is one thing to know the path and another to stay on it. Your life is increasingly filled with distractions and choices that pull you away from your path. It takes deep conviction and steely resolve to stay firm on your path to success.

“We have all been placed on this earth to discover our own path, and we will never be happy if we live someone else’s idea of life” – James Van Praagh.