Brutal Truth #8 out of 9 every Employee needs to Hear to Succeed

People matter. Relationships matter. Community matters. I love people. My sister Nyemudzai Tatenda Garwe says of me all the time that I am a collector of strays. I love beautiful souls.

I hate the term family when applied to work. We are not a family. We don’t need to be friends and families are generally dysfunctional and we don’t pay family members. Ergo work and family not the same thing.

I’m naive. I have a childlike belief that everyone is intrinsically good. I have learnt to my detriment that there are many broken people and some just downright evil. That is why one needs boundaries and emotional intelligence.

Everyone at work has an agenda. It’s not necessarily a bad thing but everyone has a reason for being at work. It could be financial - just paying the bills; passion - love of the job; career progression and of course power. It’s exhilarating to work in the United Nations. We are technical experts and International civil servants. So we help governments develop policy. We collect the best practices in any field and we provide technical expertise. It can be exhilarating to meet statesmen and politicians.

All of these things involve people. People are complex and being able to understand them is important. I honestly believe that Emotional intelligence (also known as emotional quotient or EQ) - defined as the ability to understand, use, and manage one’s own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict - is essential in relationship management.

More than EQ I truly believe one needs relational intelligence which is defined as all about gathering, analyzing, and using data from personal and professional interactions to build stronger, more meaningful connections. It involves tracking communications, understanding the dynamics of social and organizational networks, and leveraging insights to nurture relationships—whether with customers, prospects, or business partners. By tapping into relationship intelligence, businesses can improve engagement, build trust, and drive long-term value.

To succeed in one’s work life it’s important to build relationships. Everyone is going through something and people all have lives outside of work. Beyond one’s technical ability it’s important to build work relationships. These can be friendships as we tend to spend most time at work, but should be considered collegial or work relationships. No need to over share says the master of over sharing.

It’s important to understand one’s agenda. It’s important to own one’s why. When one understands one’s why one can then show up authentically in one’s role.

Own your story and your agenda so that you can build authentic relationships. Understand the relationships and act accordingly. Each relationship requires terms of reference and boundaries. Your supervisor, his/her supervisor, your peers and your subordinates need different terms of references. Understand the relationships and understand the power dynamics so that you can navigate the landscape of work.

Ndini Mambokadzi Wadzanai