Brunch with a child in the middle

Brunch with a Child in the middle.

This late morning early Sunday afternoon, I found myself at our family table with my daughter having some soup and this soup was so nice and made by my own hands which made it that little bit more scrumptious. During this time, I was sitting with my eldest daughter who was still coming alive, eating soup and still in a very tired state. 

My daughter 16 year old Saffron was still trying to catch up with her sleep as two nights before she was sleeping rough in a cardboard box in the Birmingham sleep out to raise money for the homeless. I was really proud of her for doing this and running up to the event, she shared in a text to me "I am not just talk, I really want to change the world" , which hit me in the heart and resulted in me shedding a few tears, as I looked at who she had become. It was a touching moment. Moving on, during our brunch discussion she shared something that caused me to feel sad, angered but then simply confused.

Randomly, she said "Dad I was thinking of your business the other day and I think it's really good", I was pleased to hear so. I then wondered why she shared this and probed her a bit more and she then shared "you work with all children and I think that's cool". Saffron then went on to say, "At school they have catch up activities for those who are not doing well and special English workshops for those who are the gifted & talented but, nothing for us in the middle".

 I then asserted "but Saffron you are doing well and I wouldn't say you were in the middle" as a parent I was convinced that she was in some top sets, however, I was corrected. Saffron clarified "the students that could get A*'s the teachers call them the more able and they get certain opportunities, which isn't fair and I don't think it's fair that teachers say they are more able, it's not right.

For us in the middle, we don't get to do extra activities, which is why I like what your business does and you should come to my school". I was silenced for a bit, then I asserted "Saffron, you are not in the middle to me, you are a shining example, you are bright (she got an A for GCSE in Science from year 10 and A in Maths in Jan 2016), you play major parts in school productions, are contributing to school (she is a student representative) and many of the things you are doing will make you outshine even those, who are considered to be gifted and talented" (as an employer, I know what we are looking for in the future workforce character, creativity, personality, knowledge, skill and spark).

Saffron smiled, nodded and did then accept that she would be seen as more than a middle child, due to her bountiful personal statement which exhibits her as a well rounded, experienced, articulate and example student citizen, due to her extracurricular engagement and social contribution. However this conversation sparked some thoughts, which I am transcribing into this blog.

This made me think about what I do and why I do it and also the middle child. As the Founder, CEO and Lead Practitioner of Every Child Needs a Mentor, providing training, bespoke and off the shelf programmes for primary and secondary schools for "every child", this "elephant in the room" has been heavy on my heart and the core of our vision and moral purpose. (press link to see video:https://vimeo.com/144399545)

For over a decade, I have seen and heard of the inequality of some school interventions that target select groups but neglect most students in the main, due them not having any designation. For instance, if a child is SEN, EAL, Gifted & Talented, At risk / vulnerable, LAC and now Pupil Premium, you will have in most instances additional support accompanied by extra funding. However what about the child who does not fit into any of the above?

 I was wondering shouldn’t there be the moral imperative that obligates a school via it's loco parentis role to provide equity to all of their children via their duty of care? Or the moral obligation to adhere to one's school motto that is all encompassing and inclusive of all attendee's? (is inclusion in schools truly inclusive?)

This brunch gave me more than just physical food but also food for thought, as I considered the challenges that schools that desire to give more to all students, have with the capacity to give all of their students similar support, also the challenge that most school leaders are faced with for school improvement, closing the attainment gap and school status on their inspections, which can dwarf (rightly or wrongly) such a poignant point? So in the scheme of things maybe that child in the middle is not "urgent" unless they are yours?

So in conclusion I will leave you with a five questions:

1. In your school what do you do to ensure that all children make progress?
2. What interventions do you have in place at present, that goes beyond the data and designations, so all children can benefit?
3. In an ideal situation, what would you do to ensure that the children with no voice could be heard, validated and responded to?
4. How can you galvanise the children in the middle to enable them to achieve their innate potential?
5. What reason justifies that many students don't or won't receive additional necessary support unlike their counterparts?

As painful and as hard as it was to hear my daughter say what she said it also helped me to realise that maybe as a parent, I have a greater part to play to ensure that even if the school may not value my daughter as a top or exceptional student, regardless of her educational output she is a top child, daughter and student in my eyes and I will always ensure that she knows how I perceive her and more importantly, to ensure that she perceives herself in the best possible way as she is a stellar child also.

So if you are a teacher, leader or governor champion... the child in the middle who may not have a voice and keep your eyes open for those in the middle as this 80% are truly the breadth of the school's potential, results and legacy.

 Thanks for reading and do you have a child that is a child in the middle?

Herman

Herman Stewart is the Founder & CEO of Every Child Needs a Mentor, which is recognised as a leading mentoring organisation delivering bespoke mentoring programmes for primary & secondary schools. Herman and his team equip parents, teachers, professionals and pupils to become mentors and he is recognised internationally for his thought leadership in the field of mentoring.

As well as being a chair of governors at Victoria Park Academy, which is in the top 100 schools in the UK, he is also the author of the book "Every Child Needs a Mentor". To find out more, visit www.everychildneedsamentor.com  

Contact details: 0800-644-4881 or email: [email protected]