Bruce Kasanoff | Lead with Love

Business is about money. Making stuff that you can sell for more money than it cost you to produce. Margins. Productivity. Profits.

Not exactly.

To do all that, you must get people ("employees") to work together towards common goals. You also must get other people ("customers) to pay attention to your offerings in a crowded market of competitive offers. At times, you must persuade a more diverse range of people ("investors", "partners", "analysts" and "regulators") to support or at least not torpedo your plans.

This is where leading with love comes in. It means getting people excited to run towards an exciting future, rather than to race away from a terrifying threat. It also means attracting attention by sharing your passions, rather than your anxieties.

Social media, among other things, has taught us to be reactive, anxious and angry. Social media algorithms literally try to provoke us, so that we'll keep watching the next video and/or story about a threat that's theoretically coming our way.

Scaring people is no way to motivate those you wish to work with again and again. Such threats rob people of their energy, creativity and excitement. At best, they generate short-term gains at a very high long term cost.

Vince Lombardi, the former longtime coach of the Green Bay Packers, said, “I don’t necessarily have to like my players and associates, but as a leader, I must love them. Love is loyalty; love is teamwork; love respects the dignity of the individual. This is the strength of any organization.”

"One of the main reasons people resist the idea of love in business," says Whole Foods co-founder John Mackey, "Is because they think it signals weakness. This simply isn’t true! Embracing love does not mean you shy away from difficult conversations when there’s a problem or become a pushover. Think of it like parenting – sometimes you need to lead with love and tenderness, and other times you need to play the role of a tough parent. Both actions come from a place of love for a child."

"The purpose of life is to love and be loved … in that order," says Alan Mulally, former CEO of Ford. That's how he has long treated his employees as well as his family members. Twice, I've had the privilege of attending an event at which Alan spent hours briefing us on his management system. He says "love" more than any leader I know, even as he describes overcoming enormous business challenges.

Leading with love is not just a decision. It is a skill that you develop with practice, the acquisition of knowledge, the collection of feedback and the emergence of genuine self-awareness.

More on this in a future issue...

I'm Bruce Kasanoff , a proud member of Marshall Goldsmith's 100 Coaches community. The 100 Coaches Agency finds the world's best coaches for the world's top leaders. If you are a leader committed to improving your results and those of your organization, I will be glad to make a personal introduction to the Agency for you. You can contact me here .