Broken promises, Failed commitments and Disappointments

America, where are your Manners? Your Word is your Bond. Honor It!

"And Barack and I were raised with so many of the same values, like you work hard for what you want in life. That your word is your bond; that you do what you say you're going to do. That you treat people with dignity and respect, even if you don't know them and even if you don't agree with them."- Michelle Obama

When I was in the ninth grade, I had a wonderful opportunity to go to the Ivory Coast with a student exchange program. Talk about being excited to go to Africa!!! As they presented the opportunity in school, they told us about how we would benefit from going on the trip, learn a new culture, have an amazing opportunity to travel the world with no commitments and that we would live with another family for one month. What? I didn’t have to go to school for one month???!!!! I eagerly grabbed the information and placed it in my book bag! I couldn’t wait to rush home to present the information to my mother. Once school was over for the day, I told my friends I wasn’t going to walk home with them, instead I was going to take the bus, because I wanted to get home as fast as possible. I was zoned to take the bus home and most days I would walk home with my friends so we could hang out, but that day I opted to take the school bus home.

On the bus ride home, I put together a plan to present the information I received about the student exchange program to my mom since it was such a large investment to go on the trip. I made the decision that I was going to tell my mom that I didn’t want anything for Christmas or for my birthday if that meant I could do the student exchange program trip. In addition, we had an opportunity to raise money thru fundraising. I made a financial commitment in my plan to my mom that I would do whatever possible to fundraise a certain amount of money if she was willing to pay for the rest of the trip. When she came home that day, I presented all the information to her, I told her about my plan and she agreed to let me go. I was super excited and put my plan into action. I told people in church about my trip and they were kind enough to give me donations for my trip. Just so I could hit my goal, I sold every fundraising item I could to everyone I could. In the end, all my hard work paid off, the trip was paid for and I secured my place in the program. Then Christmas came around the corner! Now, I know that I told my mom that I didn’t want anything for Christmas or my birthday because I wanted to trade everything I would have received, to have a lifelong memory of going to Africa! But, it was Christmas!!! Surely, she didn’t take me seriously?!?!? I’m sure she bought me at least one gift?!?! I mean, come on, it’s Christmas, Right?! I woke up that day and little to my surprise my mom made sure I stuck to my deal. I didn’t receive anything from her that Christmas and because of her actions from Christmas, I didn’t even think about asking her for anything on my birthday.

Well, let me tell you, on that Christmas day I learned a very important lesson: Your Word is your Bond. Honor It! Now I know you are probably thinking in your mind right now, What?! I can’t believe that her mother did that to her. Or maybe you are thinking, awe come’ on mom, she’s just a kid! Every day I am grateful that my mom taught me that valuable lesson, even though she never seems to remember the story the way it played out. Funny how parents always have selective amnesia in certain part of our lives.

Once upon a time, a man’s word meant everything, and it was a very serious matter that you didn’t take lightly. There were no contracts, just a verbal dialogue, a firm handshake and you looked the person in the eye as you sealed the deal. If you went back on your word it would dampen your character and it would compromise your honor. Keeping your word to others is very important and it is just as important for you to be a person of your word because you made a commitment. Who wants to follow a leader who is constantly filled with broken promises, failed commitments and disappointments? When we live our lives in this manner life becomes hard, you can’t look at yourself in the mirror and maintaining a commendable reputation is difficult. If people can’t trust you to uphold your word, then you don’t have anything to fall back on. Not to mention, people start to lose faith and respect for you. People don’t expect anything from you, they make secondary plans in the event you don’t come through and when other people ask about your character there is a recurring conversation that “you are not reliable.”

Nevertheless, the times that you do honor your word, all parties may become shocked. It is unbelievable that you actually lived up to your word and this could cause you to become slightly defensive and offended because the people you love, and trust do not view you as a reliable person. Unfortunately, because of your inconsistent history, you teach people that you are not dependable and in kind they treat you as such.

As Theodore Roosevelt said, “I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!” Once someone loses trust in you it takes a long time to build back that trust. In fact, most people may tell you that they forgive you for breaking your word, but there’s still a part of them that doesn’t 100% believe you anymore. In this day in age we use missed “text messages” and “hiding behind technology” to justify our failed commits. So many times, people commit to an event that they don’t intend on attending. When the time comes for that person to show up, they’re nowhere to be found. They send all phone calls to voicemail, text messages fall on deaf ears, the process of fabricated excuses are created and if you check social media you can find out that person’s whereabouts in real time. I’m sure we have all received text messages after an event that said something like this:

• Hey, sorry I missed your message. I completely forgot that I was supposed to help you move yesterday and I’m just seeing your text message.
•  Something is wrong with my phone and I’m just getting you voicemail. I just don’t know what happened.
•  I promise, I will be there in 10 minutes. But they don’t show up.

Let’s not make the word “accountability” a thing of the past. It can be very hard to keep your word at times, but when you choose not to live up to your word, your intentions are not sincere, and people will begin to exclude you in their professional and personal life. It is my hope that we will become a society that honors commitments, upholds honor and sees the value in staying true to your word. If not, it is my fear that we will become a society that lacks the art of honor and the benefits we receive from adhering to our word.

In closing, I leave you with the principal that my mom taught me many years ago, the moment I woke up Christmas morning and didn’t see or receive gifts, “Integrity Is the most valuable and respected quality of leadership. Always Keep Your Word.”- Brian Tracy

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