Broken Promises

I've written a lot about expectations over the years, and how they seldom serve us.

Expecting someone to do something, or be a certain way, especially if you haven't shared that expectation with them is an easy-to-follow recipe for disappointment.

But what happens when that "someone" is you?

More accurately, your current self makes plans for your future self to carry out:

• "Eat less. Do more." (My favorite 4 word weight loss framework.)
• "Don't procrastinate."
• "Learn this new technology, language, skill."
• "Stop {bad habit}."
• "Start {good habit}."
• "Be different."

For much of the world, lots of these plans were formulated 20 days ago; we call them "New Year's Resolutions." And at this point, many of them have already been abandoned. Not because they weren't worthy aspirations, nor because they weren't achievable.

Because they were created as expectations of our future self.

So, our future self arrives and looks at the expected activity - and either tries to do it, or decides it's appropriate not to do it (for any of a number of "good reasons.")

And then that self says "I'll do it tomorrow" - setting further expectations on the next future self to do what it couldn't do.

The cycle repeats, and the end result is disappointment, negative self-talk ("I'm not good enough.") and a commitment to stop making New Year's Resolutions.

But it's not the resolutions that are the problem - we make them all the time. There's nothing truly magical about the start of a year, month, or week. Any day is a good day to decide to change your world. And to act on that decision.

What's missing is the agreement between the present self and the future self.

I know, it sounds weird. I hear you saying "How can I make an agreement with my future self? It's not like we can talk to one another, David."

And yet, in a way, you can. You can be far more considerate of your future self by being honest with, and about, your present self. Don’t make commitments for your future self that you know your present self couldn’t handle. Consider what changes are necessary, across many elements, to enable your future self to align with your present desires.

I’ll be talking a lot more about this, and sharing additional things to consider, next week. We'll explore this concept, and carry it forward to making commitments to ourselves that we can actually achieve.

This will all happen through Resolve, a free experience from Multiply Your Impact, starting Wednesday January 24, and running for 4 business days. The event is on Zoom, and you can RSVP in the Alchemist Community, or here on LinkedIn (Day 1 event).

I hope you make time for your future self to attend. It will be life-changing.

Photo by Dan Cristian P?dure? on Unsplash.