Be the Broken Hero

In the quest to understand myself, I delved into personal branding. I figured the rest would become clear if I understood my brand. I've invested (a lot) in coaches, programs, and courses, all in the pursuit of defining my unique identity. From CliftonStrengths to Myers-Briggs, I've mapped out my strengths and weaknesses, as well as my motivations and fears.?

The most impactful was working 1:1 with a coach (Jayzen Patria) over several months to understand exactly what I stood for. But despite this knowledge, my personal brand always seemed to wear a veneer of positivity, a polished version of life that didn't quite capture the full spectrum of my experiences.

It was as though I was saying to myself, sure, that’s who I am, yet my inner me was calling BS.

The Vulnerability of Authentic Feedback

The journey to self-awareness is paved with vulnerability. I remember sending out anonymous feedback forms to about 50 people, a mix of peers, current and old bosses, and mentors, to gather their unfiltered perceptions of me. The exercise was a lesson in humility, a mirror reflecting not just my strengths but also my flaws—or, as I prefer to call them, growth opportunities.?

I've always been receptive to criticism, understanding that the potential for personal development lies within it. My reputation is to take feedback, no matter how harsh, reflect, and change.?

However, this has always been an outward mission. Sure, I could change my outward behavior. I failed to realize that I was trying to add more paint to a false version of myself I had been projecting for most of my life.?

A Revelation Through Shadows

It was a seemingly random YouTube video that brought everything into focus. Chris Do, a figure I've come to admire, shared a transformative approach to personal branding: integrating your shadow self with a positive transformer word. This concept resonated with me, as it acknowledged the darker parts of our journey—those aspects we often hide but are integral to who we are.

It is in the shadows that we truly get to know ourselves. These private shadow sides define our personalities and who we are. When we acknowledge them, they come into the light. You might have a crippling fear of public speaking; this part of your personality is just trying to protect you. It is working overtime, and yet you are telling this side of you that it is bad or wrong. You will always have that fear; the power you give it is up to you.

Mine was that I always thought I was broken; I had missing parts that made me feel inferior. I realized this was a side of me that was trying to protect me from the world and keep me hidden under the radar. My subconscious had heard so many negative stereotypes growing up gay in the ‘80s and the AIDs crisis that it didn't want me to be out all proud and risking everything. I took its control and power away by acknowledging it and thanking this side of me. Background here.

The Dichotomy of Heroes and Villains

The distinction between a hero and a villain is a matter of choice in the face of adversity.?

Given the same circumstances, one person may rise as a hero, using their trauma as a catalyst for good, while another may become a villain, seeking retribution for their suffering. This dichotomy is evident in the stories of iconic characters like Superman and Spiderman, who chose to channel their pain into a force for good.

Had Spiderman not stood by while a criminal ran off, even when asked to help, his uncle would not have been killed and would not have made a kid with abilities turn into Spiderman. The same applies to Superman; his sense of empathy and justice stems from what happened to him and his family/planet.

We have many real-life examples, from Nelson Mandela, Oprah Winfrey, and Malala Yousafzai, all incredible people who took their suffering and made it their superpower.?

The Personal Brand of a 'Broken Hero'

Through reflection, I've embraced my personal brand as a 'broken HERO.' I once believed I was fundamentally flawed, but I've learned that it's through embracing our brokenness that we can truly understand our capacity for resilience and empathy.?

My mission has always been to help others see the beauty in their imperfections and recognize that their struggles have shaped them into the remarkable individuals they are. I have friends who have had some terribly f’d up experiences, from child sex working to violence. They could have chosen to become villains, yet they use their experiences to give them empathy and resilience.

The Power of Resilience and Transformation

The narrative of overcoming adversity is not unique to me. History is replete with individuals who have transformed their suffering into triumph. Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist, and Holocaust survivor, found profound meaning in his pain, developing logotherapy and authoring "Man's Search for Meaning." His work illustrates the human capacity to find significance amid despair.

He was the broken hero, the one who wasn’t meant to save me but who was meant to save himself, and he was doing that. Day in and day out.

The power of being the broken hero at work

Understanding and embracing your vulnerabilities and past adversities can significantly enhance your ability to connect, inspire, and drive positive change within your team and organization.?

Authentic Leadership

Share your journey. This is not a sign of weakness - it makes you relatable. Showing your team how to turn adversity into strengths will encourage a culture of openness and authenticity. Too often, our leaders try to put on this facade that they have it all sorted out, but that’s a lie.?

Empathy and Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing and embracing one's 'broken' parts enhances empathy and emotional intelligence. Leaders who have navigated personal hardships are often more attuned to their employees' emotional needs and struggles.?

I read an article once that stated gay people make great leaders. The rationale was that as a marginalized community that spans all groups, we have built a sense of empathy for others. As a gay man, I support this ;-)

Resilience and Adaptability

Embrace your brokenness, and you will inherently understand the value of resilience. You will demonstrate that adversity is not a barrier to success but a catalyst for growth and innovation.?

Inspirational Motivation

Your journey from adversity to achievement can be a powerful source of inspiration. By sharing your story, you can motivate employees to embrace their own challenges and persevere in the face of difficulties.?

Fostering a Growth Mindset

When you embrace your past adversities, you encourage a culture of continuous learning and personal development. This approach helps to dismantle the fear of failure, encouraging innovation and creativity by fostering an environment where taking calculated risks is valued and supported.

Inclusive Leadership

By acknowledging and valuing your team's diverse experiences and backgrounds, you can foster a more inclusive workplace. Understanding that everyone has faced and overcome challenges in their own way promotes a sense of belonging and inclusion.?

Conclusion: The Call to Be a 'Broken Hero'

In conclusion, I urge you to consider your own narrative through the lens of a 'broken hero.' Reflect on your challenges and how they've contributed to your growth. Embrace your story, with all its trials and triumphs, and let it inform your personal brand.?

By doing so, you become a beacon of hope and inspiration, showing that we can rise as heroes even in our brokenness.

I have friends currently in victim mode; as hard as it is not to, don’t do this. Negative attracts negative, and you will end up spiraling into doom.?

If you are a leader, incorporate this concept into your leadership model. It cultivates a work environment characterized by authenticity, resilience, empathy, and inclusivity. Leaders who embrace and share their journey of overcoming adversity can inspire their teams, foster a supportive and innovative culture, and drive organizational success.?