Bringing You - How to Embrace, Not Erase Your Authenticity at Work by Grainne McNamara and Aine Stapleton

Recently I was honored by the Irish Arts Center in New York City for supporting Irish theater. In the lead up to the acceptance of this honor, I had the opportunity to discuss it with the co-author of this article, an Irish American herself. I had been pondering my own sense of what it meant to be Irish, more than 25 years after leaving the island. We quickly started to talk about the importance of heritage and our own life stories. We noted how it is sometimes difficult to incorporate our personal flairs and our narratives into a professional setting. Essentially, we were talking about the power of authenticity and how it can be absent from the way we show up in a corporate context. We discussed reasons why this might be the case and strategies that we could apply to feel ‘safer’ as we try to move closer to bringing our whole selves to work. We are still not at a place in all areas of society where we feel we can truly be seen for who we are and succeed in the traditional sense. But we are moving closer to it, and inclusion and authenticity are now critical drivers of long-term success in all spheres. With this as a societal backdrop, it becomes even more important to find openness to listening to other people’s stories and to embracing genuine self-expression. Here are some strategies for moving closer to showing up as who you really are, whilst balancing the need to be successful in business.

1.   Embrace, don’t erase:- When I took my first job at a British bank in London in 1994, I was the first in my family to go to college and to emigrate. I was told in an ‘act of charity’ by my boss at the time, that two things would count against me in my plan to soar through the ranks of the bank. The first was that I was Irish and the second was that I was female. I found this curious, almost humorous, and set about making my mark on the City of London and later, on Wall Street. Rather unconsciously however, something in me had decided to *erase* rather than *embrace* these two things that I could not change about myself. Years later, I realized that in an effort to ‘fit in’, I was leaving half of myself outside many of the rooms that I was entering. The result was that I was becoming increasingly more frustrated and exhausted. Perhaps more importantly, I was limiting the impact I could have on others who identified with the real me if only she was in the room. At some point along the way, I realized that showing up in communities where I now had a seat at the table was not just about me anymore, it was about others I could serve, causes I could champion, voices I could amplify and work I could help to sponsor or fund.  Don’t underestimate the impact that you can have on others by simply bringing all of you into the room.

2.   Walk the talk: - One of the hallmarks of authentic leadership is doing what you said you would do and being intentional. This can be difficult in dynamic and complex situations as we may be conflicted in our thoughts, making it harder to commit and follow through. It is also important as a leader to show those around you that everyone is human and personal lives can impact our professional lives, despite our best intentions. There are external events and circumstances that impact corporate life and it can be important to explain why we need to shift strategy at a given time, and to communicate the context. It’s my experience that most people prefer honest and timely communication when facts on the ground change and plans need to shift in response. Make sure you are being clear about what is driving your actions in order to allow others to understand your motives and to develop trust.

3.   Focus on performing, not conforming: - Many of us have adopted ‘work personas’ which require that we hang up our personalities along with our coats when we enter the office. The energy expended on trying to conform to this vision of what we think is expected of us can take us away from achieving business goals.  Perhaps more importantly, it can have a draining impact on our own well-being in the workplace and on others who see us model this type of ‘machine-like’ behavior. When you leave important talents and perspectives at the door, it’s like trying to fight with one hand tied behind your back. The ever-changing world of business needs you to show up with all of your skills and all of your available energy focused on serving customers and solving difficult problems. If you’re unsure how authentic you’re willing to be at work or how safe it is, start out by choosing less risky situations with colleagues you trust. It is important to understand how evolved your corporate culture is, and how much judgment and timing you need to consider before bringing all of you to the table.

4.   Own up when you mess up: - Bringing our whole selves to work means remembering that we’re all vulnerable, imperfect human beings who frequently mess up. Many of us are holding this vulnerability aspect of ourselves back because we believe that is what is required in order to be seen as professional, competent, and successful. We think we have to be perfect. Successful people take risks and they ask for help when they get in over their heads. They admit when they are wrong or when they miscalculated situations. They are honest. Don’t be afraid to admit to being wrong. In doing so, you are admitting to being human and giving others permission to do the same.

5.   Show your love: - Most human beings want to be appreciated for who they are as well as being recognized for what they do. In acknowledging the qualities of others and how it contributed to the outcome, we are more able to develop deep connections. As Maya Angelou so beautifully put it, ‘people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel’. Take time to think about the qualities in your co-workers and other stakeholders a make a point to call them out.

In supporting the dynamic work of the Irish arts and in being recognized for it, I’ve connected to something deeper that I subconsciously knew as a child who adored the stage. To play the lead role in your own life you have to embrace all of who you are, the vulnerable and the powerful. You must allow yourself to be seen. I encourage you to take some small risks in revealing more of what your story is to the world you occupy. Be careful not to lose the parts of that narrative that is distinctly yours and sets you apart from all the rest! If you want to make your mark on the world for who you really are, consider the words of Edward R. Murrow – ‘In order to be persuasive we must be believable, to be believable we must be credible, credible we must be truthful.’