Bringing space to the mind

How 30 years of meditation drives my leadership at Tender Greens 

Every leader has a secret weapon. As CEO of Tender Greens, I found mine in something that seems almost in conflict with the idea of “weapon” — mindfulness.

Mindfulness is simply a matter of becoming present in the moment through meditation, and it’s been part of my life for 30 years, since I began practicing transcendental meditation as a college sophomore. At the time, meditation in Philadelphia was a bit on the fringe, reserved for hippies and spiritual recluses, and I was neither. But I carried a full academic load, double shifts at the Four Seasons Hotel and barely had time for a girlfriend — and I knew I needed something, a tool to help keep the many moving parts in sync rather than discombobulated.

So in the spring of 1988, I enrolled in the three day series at the TM center just off Rittenhouse Square.

I haven’t missed a day of meditation since. The simple practice of 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes more in the afternoon changed my life. Even more, the echoes and ripples of my meditation practice are stitched into every project, business and relationship I touch.

Meditation sounds mysterious and maybe even daunting to the uninitiated, especially to hard-driving CEOs facing daily parades of demands and pressures, and always-spinning minds. But it’s simple.

I sit, close my eyes, and focus upon something repetitive — usually my personal mantra, which is a Sanskrit word given to me the first day 30 years ago with my spiritual advisor. The mantra helps to center the mind. It calms the monkey brain, guiding heavy thoughts gently into deep quiet. The mantra is sort of like counting sheep while trying to drift into sleep, only sleep is not the point of invoking the mantra. Instead, the point is more like awakening.

The second phase of meditation is the most important, and often misunderstood. Just as deep sleep gives way to REM and opens doors to dreams, meditation offers a form of REM — something like a film of random thoughts viewed by the mind’s eye. It’s during the screening of the mind movie when most people get frustrated and quit. But this is the time to press forward!

The key: recapture the mantra during moments of self awareness to harness the emerging monkey mind and return to that meditative deep state. During a 20-minute session, this cadence repeats itself over and over. Just as with a good eight hour sleep, a twenty minute meditation leaves me clear, refreshed and present.

Through meditation, I found a calmer me, an uncluttered mind that more easily taps into compassion and empathy for others. A mind far less apt to react, jump to judgment or miss important signs on the path towards understanding. And an evolving practice, a twice-daily exploration of my inner life that gives me the calm I need to navigate chaos, whether it’s right in front of me — the tactile, personal stuff of daily life — or chaos that arrives through headlines of the world.

I understand now that meditation paired with regular exercise, good food and a meaningful community constitutes the foundation for my own house of happiness. The meditation part of the foundation gives me what I need to show up with presence and calm. My dedication to daily practice enhances my workouts, and honors relationships by keeping me fully present in the company of other human beings (listening, empathizing, experiencing compassion, savoring the incandescence of their presence). It slows me down in a way that gives me license to embrace and enjoy the magical moments of life, while providing me a certain kind of clarity that helps guide me towards community service.

People who know me well recognize that it’s far easier for me to make tough decisions or engage in weighty conversations after meditation. In fact, some of my friends even suggest I go meditate before entering into important discussions, which always is a great idea for all of us. 

This foundational practice has trickled into Tender Greens’ culture, which we like to describe as a culture of care. With its emphasis on staying true to our authentic selves and communicating openly, the culture of care is a bit of an anomaly in the harried restaurant industry.

Our team practices simple exercises, such as mindful listening, in which two people take turns sharing things of importance about work and life, or both. One talks, while the other listens without interruption. And then they trade places. The approach towards business communications helps set sturdy discipline in meetings, coaching sessions and relationships. So many business meetings involve people talking over one another, interrupting or retreating to their laptop or cell phone. We actively encourage everyone at Tender Greens to set an intention to quash those habits.

We use morning check-ins to encourage people to speak up and share what’s really on their minds. We start with a big-picture question, skipping right over the hollow niceties of “How’s it going,” followed by “Fine.” Instead, we might lead with: “What outside of work brings a sense of higher purpose to your life?” It’s important for people in the group to truly listen, so the other person can speak freely. They often learn something new about a colleague they have known for years, and gain fresh understandings about how they might support their intentions or hold them accountable. Usually, they find a deeper connection to the people with whom they spend each workday.

I believe this simple process, the daily habit of meditation and mindfulness, can impact the world we all share. In fact, today’s polarizing political climate, with people and groups feuding over just about any point imaginable, should serve as a call to action. Now more than ever conscious companies must lead. We must build cultures of compassion and must stitch this culture into our fabric of our businesses and organizations. We must touch our communities in ways that extend beyond jobs and taxes. We must take courageous and strategic risks to protect the values we champion.

Mindful organizations, ones fully invested with empathy for those they serve, can shift narratives in beneficial and even transformational ways. In many ways, I believe it all starts with the simple practice of mindfulness — beginning there, we build the foundation for a community of compassion. If we conduct ourselves with mindfulness and compassion we are on the road towards establishing our organization’s unique and valuable niche in the community, and setting standards for other organizations in the community.

Really, it’s simple. And to cop what has become a viral 21st century word, it’s scalable. One of my visions for Tender Greens is to scale mindfulness, compassion and good intentions in such a way that we help build a better society. I hope you join us.