Bringing menopause out of the shadows and into the workplace

Had a water cooler chat about Menopause yet??

We are not even through the first quarter of 2022 and if you google "Menopause", you can see a staggering 9,300,000 searches since the beginning of the year.

Once reserved for whispered conversations between women of a certain age, Menopause – and its younger sister, Perimenopause, are coming out of the shadows and into the workplace.

For women like me, it’s not before time.?

I had never dreamed that, at 43, I would be staring down the end of my reproductive years with a diagnosis of ‘Perimenopause’ – a term I had never heard of, with symptoms I had never known before.

I am writing this article in the hopes of inspiring women of all ages experiencing Peri, or full-blown Menopause, to do the same – to jump over the stigma and start a workplace conversation with somebody who can help them navigate the inevitable workplace impacts that this often challenging condition has.

I am a positive person, and love life, I always have. So, 8 months ago, when I started having more and more negative thoughts, brain fogs, doubting myself (at work and personally), getting anxious about very little things – extremely unlike me – I started to be anxious (again!) about something being terribly wrong with me.?

Was it a symptom of COVID? Had I developed a mental illness for the first time in my life, or dementia?

As for so many women, the symptoms were vague, and could be related to a range of conditions.

Four weeks and a series of blood tests later, the answer was clear – what was going on had a name: it was Perimenopause.

What a relief – I wasn’t going crazy!

I had always thought menopause was something I wouldn’t even have to think about for a decade or more. I had no idea that its impacts can sneak up on women as young as 30, in the form of Perimenopause.?When I got the news, it felt as if I was aged decades in the space of minutes. But fortunately for me, the diagnosis wasn’t life changing in a big way. I have never wanted children, and so didn’t feel the awful pressure many women do when they learn that their child bearing years have been cut short in a big way or could be more difficult than expected. ?

Breaking down the stigma

What was harder for me to accept was the treatment my doctor suggested. I was still having regular cycles, and was on a contraceptive pill, so I was already getting as much symptom relief from that as I was going to get. The next step, to manage my hormone levels, and in turn the mood swings and anxiety I was experiencing, was to take an antidepressant.?This was the best treatment for me. It's different for everyone depending on your medical history, symptoms and condition.

I know many people who take antidepressants, but had no personal experience of them. I had heard that this class of medication was very hard to come "off", and so the idea of taking it felt scary. This was not a road I wanted to start down at the age of 43.

I was desperate to get my symptoms under control and get my life back, though, and after many conversations with my partner and doctor, I decided to give it a shot. I am happy to report I have now started taking an antidepressant, and so far, so good!

Support from work

The last eight months have been an emotional roller coaster ride as I’ve tried to find a way out of this Perimenopause maze. Its onset coincided with me starting a new job as Head of Business Development and Marketing for Anthony Harper. Uncharacteristically, I was unable to give my work the 120% I always did. I knew something wasn’t right, but had no idea what was going on with my body. And so, I decided to "march on" in silence.

Weeks and months went by, and my symptoms worsened, I turned to Google. It seemed I wasn’t the only one looking, and it wasn’t long before I found Kate Billing.

Menopause in the Workplace was her topic, and everything she talked about resonated.?

It was a pivotal moment to realise I wasn’t alone with this thing, and I didn’t have to be.

Kate’s piece gave me the courage to start a conversation with my boss, Anthony Harper CEO, Lisa Jacobs. Lisa was extremely supportive with ideas and suggestions, including putting me onto the Balance app, which is great for tracking symptoms. Most importantly, Lisa empathised with what I was going through and took the time to listen to me.

Lisa also endorsed Kate Billing, and that led me to explore a little more. I was delighted to find a group of women, just like me, who had come together thanks to Kate’s efforts, as the Menopause Awareness & Action Community group.?

As somebody who has always been a 'shaper' at work, it was a relief to find people keen to get going and do something to raise awareness of menopause and help others get the information and support they need.?

While it’s great at a cultural and personal level that organisations are now starting to take menopause seriously, there are other good reasons for them to sit up and take notice. There are a growing number of employment law challenges around both menstruation and menopause both here and aboard (link).

Now what?

An episode of The Detail on Radio New Zealand galvanised me to look for ways I could help not only myself, but others.?

And so, that quiet little conversation I had with my boss blossomed into a much larger and wider ranging one involving Lisa, our Head of People and Culture Diane Galbraith, Employment Practice Lead Kathryn McKinney, and Employment Partner Anne Wilson.

I had been relieved at the accepting and open response I got from Lisa, but was blown away that these four women were not only ready to take the issue seriously, but ready to see what could be done to support the women of Anthony Harper having a difficult time with the Menopause years.?

Whatever happens next is very much a work in progress, but I’m confident we’ve started something important, and something big.?

One thing I do know is that starting that conversation has changed my life, and my working life. I am no longer battling alone, and I feel confident that, just as I would for any other medical condition, I have the help and support I need.?

And so, here’s what I would say to other women in the same position: start the conversation. You’ll soon get the measure of your employer, and you’ll know where you stand. I feel privileged that the leadership in my workplace have been as open minded and supportive as they have – I know that’s not the case for every woman.?

There are no guarantees you will get the reception you are hoping for – but you won’t know until you’ve tried. And like me, you might find yourself pleasantly surprised.?

Start the conversation, today.