Bringing Introverts to the Dinner Table

The extrovert ideal has a strong hold on our culture, it seems, particularly in the workplace.

The introvert finds herself a fish out of water in a work environment that priorities quick action and unshakeable confidence. She finds herself questioning her natural inclinations, wondering whether her bias towards thoughtfulness is somehow a character flaw, a subtly veiled form of hiding. While her intuition draws her in the direction of the soft-spoken, she is pestered by doubt, wondering if she isn’t just “taking the easy way out”, disguising it behind the convenient label of “being analytical.”

Reality, as always, is more complex. The value of the introvert may be less visible at first glance, but this seems to say more about our collective bias towards extroversion than it does about the limitations of introversion itself.

It seems clear to me that the ideal society would allow for each individual to develop their skill set according to the proclivities that arise naturally within them and the dispositions to which they naturally gravitate. It seems obvious that every one of us should be challenged to grow in new and productive ways, while acknowledging the boundless value of the natural abilities we bring to the table. It seems obvious that all ways of being should be embraced, acknowledging that our collective end goal is not to move laterally towards one (extroverted) end of the spectrum, but to move upward and outward towards the fullest and most evolved stages of each trait, of each strength, of each complete person.

I personally have struggled with the tension of being someone who leans introvert in “a world that can’t stop talking.” And in fact, I don’t believe we should stop talking; the exchange of ideas is the melting pot that drives innovation, growth and evolution (at least in theory!).

However, I do believe that every organization should build the capacity for their workforce to lean into their strengths: pensive or chatty, methodical or energetic, camera on or off. This means having diverse channels for communication: synchronous and async, verbal and written, visual, auditory and otherwise. Our orgs would do well to make sure that all contributors know that their capacities are welcome and valued; that they are an essential organ of the living body being co-created, and that those who lean towards analysis and introversion will be treated as equal contributors even if they aren't the loudest trombones in the orchestra.

We may need to learn some assertiveness, it’s true. Fair enough! But it shouldn’t be the case that only those who shout are given the time of day. If balance is the ultimate goal, the Tao of collective progress, we must make sure that each cognitive style and personal disposition be given a legitimate seat at the table.