Bringing Back the Erotic Spark in Your Business (No, Not Like That—But Kind of)

Ah, 21 years. That magical moment when you know each other inside and out, when you can finish each other’s sentences—and yet, that very familiarity can dull the spark, the intrigue, the excitement. Whether it’s a long-term relationship or a long-term business, the challenge is the same: How do you keep it fresh? How do you reawaken curiosity? How do you bring back the aliveness?

Because let’s be honest: After two decades of coaching and consulting, the thrill of the early years—the chase, the adrenaline, the discovery—may have faded. Maybe you find yourself going through the motions. Maybe you’re feeling restless, uninspired, even a little resentful. And just like in a relationship, the key is not necessarily to leave—it’s to reimagine, to rekindle, to reinvent.

So, let’s approach your business as if it were a 21-year marriage in need of a little seduction.

1. Stop Being Predictable: Invite Mystery and Playfulness

One of the biggest killers of passion—whether in relationships or in business—is predictability. When you know exactly what’s coming next, the excitement disappears.

? Where in your work have you become too predictable? Are you always coaching in the same way, using the same materials, attracting the same clients?

? Shake things up: Try something radically different. Teach in a new format. Coach in a new setting. Experiment with a new audience. Surprise yourself first, and your clients will follow.

?? Metaphor for business & relationships: If you always take your partner to the same restaurant, order the same dish, and have the same conversation, of course the spark dims. What would it look like to take your business on a spontaneous date?

2. Flirt with the Unknown: Take Risks Again

Remember the early days of your business? When you had to put yourself out there? When you had to seduce clients, prove yourself, take chances? That edge was exhilarating. Now, after 21 years, you may be playing it too safe.

? What would feel like a bold move right now? A totally new offering? A controversial point of view? A risky collaboration?

? What’s a creative project that excites you but also scares you? That’s where your aliveness is hiding.

?? Metaphor for business & relationships: If a couple has stopped taking risks together, the relationship becomes stale. The same is true in business. Seduction requires a little danger, a little uncertainty.

3. Stop Being Everything to Everyone: Reignite Your Essence

After 21 years, have you lost touch with what made your coaching practice uniquely yours? Are you doing things simply because they’re expected, rather than because they light you up?

? Strip away the unnecessary. What’s the raw essence of your work? What would your coaching practice look like if you designed it ONLY for your greatest joy?

? Say no to what drains you. Just as in relationships, where saying yes to everything can lead to resentment, in business, your "yes" is only as powerful as your "no."

?? Metaphor for business & relationships: If you try to be everything to your partner, you lose yourself. In business, the same is true. Desire is fueled by distinctiveness, by owning who you are.

4. Play With Power Dynamics: Shift the Roles

In long-term relationships, sometimes a power dynamic gets stuck. One person always leads, the other always follows. One person is always the caretaker, the other the receiver. Changing roles creates fresh energy.

? In your business, where have you become locked into a role? Are you always the expert, the one with the answers? What if you flipped the dynamic—co-creating with your clients, allowing them to lead, or stepping into a student role yourself?

? Let yourself be surprised. Attend a workshop outside your industry. Get coached by someone completely different. Bring in a creative voice to shake up your methods.

?? Metaphor for business & relationships: If one partner always initiates and the other always follows, passion fades. Switching roles can restore excitement. The same goes for your business.

5. Bring Back the Erotic: The Energy of Aliveness, Play, and Possibility

I’m not talking about sex—I’m talking about the erotic as a life force. The spark of play, curiosity, risk, and adventure that makes you feel fully awake and alive. That is what’s missing when work feels stale.

? Where in your business do you feel most alive? Do more of that.

? Where have you fallen into duty and obligation? Either find a way to reimagine it, or let it go.

? Infuse more play into your business. Think of your coaching like an improvisation, a dance, a game—something to be enjoyed, not just endured.

?? Metaphor for business & relationships: The erotic isn’t just about sex; it’s about energy. It’s what makes life feel rich, textured, exciting. When your business feels mechanical, it’s because the erotic has been replaced by duty. Reignite the pleasure.

Your Mile 21 Seduction Plan

Just like in relationships, if you want to feel the spark again, you have to create it. Here’s your plan:

1?? Break the routine. Try something new, different, even a little reckless in your business. 2?? Flirt with the unknown. Take a creative or professional risk that excites and scares you. 3?? Reclaim your essence. Say no to what drains you, yes to what fuels you. 4?? Switch roles. Let someone else take the lead. Let yourself be the learner. 5?? Bring back the erotic. Find the aliveness, the play, the pleasure in your work.

You don’t need a new business—you need a new way of looking at it. Just like a long-term relationship, when you approach your work with curiosity, playfulness, and boldness, the magic returns.

So, tell me: What’s one small act of seduction you can bring into your business this week?