Brilliant Girl Power Antics

Listen, fighting the gender war often feels like a loveless slog. It is ok to admit that. I know how it goes.

You attend lunch and learns, and nothing really changes.

You join the women’s network, and nothing really changes.

You instigated Important Conversations in the office, and nothing really changes.

So how do you shift the bloody dial? Well, this newsletter comes laden with micro ways to make a difference; to assert yourself, and remind everyone in the room that women matter equally.

Come on, let’s go.

Disclaimer before I begin: it is categorically not the responsibility of women, (or any marginalised group, when I talk about women in this article I am also referring to people who identify as non-binary) to do the hard work of dismantling the structures of discrimination that hold us back.

But we do not live in a perfect world where responsibility or effort is evenly distributed, accepted or actioned.

Plus, those who feed the systems that prevent equity do not usually recognise their part in the problem. Not least because it generally serves them to retain the status quo.

Plus plus, that group (talking about genders here) isn’t necessarily known for its ability to see beyond its own existence, love many of them, as I do.

So, we find ourselves in a continuing quagmire and quandary. Not least because for all the extra burdens, I really do only trust women to get us out of this mess.

Side note, I read an article in yesterday’s The Times entitled, ‘ Patients less likely to die if treated by a female doctor. ’ Like, obviously and WTF in equal measure. That’s not even the most shocking part about it.

Read this quote:

While patients generally showed a benefit from having a female physician, the greatest difference was seen in female patients. This led the scientists from UCLA to suggest that the difference could be due to male doctors underestimating the severity of their female patients’ illnesses.

Ok, so where else wonders are men underestimating our experiences? And what about their general ability to get the day job done to a high enough level too?

If they can’t keep us alive, they sure as hell aren’t going to be able to do their part to help deliver us professional, nay societal, equity.

And so we must continue to slog, to fight, to trudge out of the quagmire together, because, can you trust the alternative?

And so I offer you, 10 Brilliant Girl Power Actions, to move that gender dial. Let’s get shit done - and have fun doing it.

1. Default To ‘She/Her’: If you are asked in a meeting to defer to a senior member of staff, or the CEO of a client, say, automatically assume that person is a woman. Refer to them immediately as a woman. As in ‘I can’t wait to hear what she thinks about the pitch,’ or ‘Please send me her details and I will absolutely be in touch.’ It’s a small but mighty shift that requires commitment but delivers an immediate flash of fairness.
2. Chuck About Some Feminist Swag: Wear clothing and use stationary with feminist messages or symbols. Next step, make them a conversation starter.
3. Use Ms Not Mrs/Miss: Because your status is not defined by the man (or woman) you are married to, or not as the case maybe. You are your own person, and you do not need or want to share personal affiliations in the workplace. Ms isn’t pretty, but Ms does match Mr and that’s the point.
4. Think Of Name Order: When you are listing colleagues, or checking team members for an event/project/whatever, list the women first. We are conditioned to do the opposite, which diminishes our status, who is still paying attention by the end? Flip that list.
5. Nominate The Men: If a menial task is required, default to the men. Of course, if there is an assistant in the room that person should not be superseded. When that isn’t the case, and an calendar invite is required, or a set of notes taken, suggest one of the men does it. This has the double effect of freeing up women to do more interesting work, and sharing a realtime experience of picking up the pieces, and being seen as lesser than. (NB: we are not being cruel here, no embarrassment required, rather we are just sharing what is fairly there to be shared).
6. Confirm The Cleverness: If a woman says something noteworthy, shine a light on her. Recognise, in the room or in the email, what has been shared by this brilliant woman, and then add, if you need to, your thoughts. This has the added benefit, aside from light shining, of reminding others of the power of #womensupportingwomen (the most overused hashtag of all time, but one which holds a special type of power that must never be underestimated).
7. Add ‘Men’s’ Where It’s Usually Missing: Men’s football. Men’s rubgy.
8. The First Parent Call: If you have children, switch the first parent to call on your school form. Schools always defer to the mum, who then absorbs that burden in all its many forms. Shift the load sideways. Don’t be the one who has to drop her life because your youngest has an ear ache.
9. Raise The Chair: Physical presence is an important one, men tend to hold more space in the room (and on Zoom), so make sure you meet them where their heads are at. This may require a lever adjustment underneath, a fiddle with your laptop settings or wearing a chunkier pair of heels.
10. Stop The Interruptions: A 2014 study* showed that when men were talking with women, they interrupted 33 percent more often than when they were talking with men. If this happens to you, or you see it happening to a female colleague, call it out. Stop the room, recognise the interruption and hand the metaphorical microphone back to who it belongs.

Now it’s over to you. Please tell me small actions you take to rebalance the gender seesaw.

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