A Brief Guide To Finding Your Purpose - 5 Characteristics, 3 Activities, Native Genius, 30 seconds, Pain + Love, Practice
What is your purpose?
It wasn’t until 2 years ago, in the aftermath of resigning from my own company, that I even thought to attempt to answer this question for myself.
I felt like I’d been through a crucible and was staring into a black box. I had no vision for the future and no idea of what might come next. It felt like I’d stepped off a professional cliff and was trying to build a parachute on the way down.
I needed desperately to find some sense of direction.
It took a while to realise it, but no matter how many people I spoke with, only I was going to be able to answer the question.
The first place I started was with an old statement I’d uncovered years earlier (more on how below):
to help others get the best for themselves.
Over time, with more reflection and iteration, my next version became:
to help people bring all of who they are to everything they do.
Many iterations later, my purpose today is:
to change the world’s relationship to suffering.
In that time, I’ve experimented with plenty of approaches to help clarify purpose.
As much as I’d love to say “follow this exact process and you will have a purpose”, in my experience it takes reps.
It didn’t happen in a blinding flash of inspiration. There wasn’t a single activity that helped me nail it first go. It’s taken drafts, reflection and refinement. And, like most important things, it’s taken time.
But ultimately, I’ve clarified my own to find that sense of direction and fulfilment and helped all sorts of people uncover theirs. From Olympic gold medallists to execs, from founders and business owners to elite soldiers. They’ve all been able to uncover their own and then apply that sense of purpose and direction to their work, families, relationships, health and communities.
Let’s explore how it’s done.
What is purpose?
The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as:
the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.
To me, Purpose sets the direction of where I want to go. It’s not a goal, because it’s never complete.
If purpose is my direction, then my Values (Love, Gratitude, Humility, Exploration, Contribution) are the characteristics of how I want to act along the way. After all, values are not words, or intentions, they are pathways for action.
Both Purpose and Values form an internalised criteria set for decision making that I can carry with me. It’s from this place that I can choose my response to the circumstances and complexity that surround me everyday and over which I have very little control.
And while the work to fulfil purpose and live values can never be completed, they help me align my goals and practices in service of them. (There’s an example in my last article about how I’m making my plans for 2024.)
5 characteristics of evolving my purpose
I’ve noticed that when my purpose evolved from the original statement to the one I’m using today there were a couple of characteristics that made me feel as though I was getting closer to the mark:
Perspective shift
As I’ve explored my purpose, I’ve noticed a shift in perspective in how I think about it.
Rather than “getting a purpose”, it now feels to me more about “being purposeful”.
It’s a bit like physical strength. While I’ve often thought about “getting strong”, really it’s about “being strong”.
Which means that rather than seeing purpose as a proclamation of intent, I see it as an ongoing process that requires repeated action that will compound over time. (Compounding was my single biggest lesson from 2023.)
So while I feel deeply connected to it now, I love the fact that I have the freedom, the power and the responsibility to evolve it if I choose.
Activities to uncover and refine Purpose
Below are 3 activities I’ve found useful to begin to uncover purpose and direction.
Having run them for myself and others many times now, I’ve put them into a particular sequence here in order to help you get started as quickly as possible.
As I’ve said to many people, when it comes to purpose, it is literally infinitely better to have something rather than nothing.
By trying any one of these activities, you will have taken the hardest step - going from 0 to 1 on a first version.
Activity #1: Purpose in 30 seconds
Grab a notebook or open a note in your phone.
Set a timer for 30 seconds.
Ask yourself the questions: What is my purpose? What contribution, impact or difference would I like to make?
Then start the timer and write whatever answers/words/ideas/concepts spring to mind.
Stop writing when the timer goes.
And that is enough to get started - even if it is a shitty first draft.
Activity #2: Native Genius
My first draft of purpose - to help others get the best for themselves - came from a powerful group exercise that Adam and I ran with our team at Bluewire Media years ago.
It was from Liz Wiseman 's best-selling leadership book Multipliers. The exercise was called Native Genius. (Detailed instructions if you’d like to run this for your team here >>)
The Native Genius questions are also useful as a guide for self reflection:
Activity #3: Pain + Love = Purpose
This equation I picked up from psychologist and author Dr Steven Hayes in his TEDx Talk: How love turns pain into purpose. I’ve found it one of the fastest ways for my clients to immediately get a sense of meaning and contribution.
My understanding of the equation is this:
Practice and Space
The themes that emerge from any of these activities become the beginnings of uncovering purpose.
Then the iterations can start:
And most importantly give it time.
Pushing for clarity can have the exact opposite effect.
It is often in the space and downtime between the effort that the gains are made, that the muddy water gradually settles and the next round of clarity emerges.
If we recognise clarifying purpose as an ongoing process rather than an event, then we give ourselves the chance to uncover it, be guided by it and derive the sense of meaning and fulfilment that can come with it.
I hope this guide can help you uncover yours.
Delivering Meaningful Experiences & Impact | Travel | Corporate Experiences & Development | Retreats
1 年Great read thanks Toby Jenkins! I find it interesting that not long ago 'Vision/Mission' was the buzz in Business World, but there are so many great examples now of Purpose + Values = Vision. Vision almost being the outcome of being purposeful and acting with strong values. Such a better way to go about life and business!
Clinical Exercise Physiologist High Performance, Movement & S&C Coach Medical, Corrective & Cancer Exercise Specialist, Managing Director (FSS)
1 年Toby Jenkins, you are indeed a word and life poet, my friend. (PS I can't wait to read the next book you compose one day) Thank you for this and, as always, for all the inspiration you bring to the world, particuarly mine!
Mar/Comms specialist in the education sector
1 年Well, he's one of those who knows That life is just a leap of faith Spread your arms and hold your breath And always trust your cape. ??
CURATED HUMAN-CENTRIC NATURE-BASED TEAM EXPERIENCES TO AMPLIFY YOUR BUSINESS GROWTH AND PERFORMANCE
1 年Mark Hodgson, a great read here! Thanks so much for sharing Toby Jenkins!