Bridging the Communication Gap: Strategies for Neurodivergent and Neurotypical Interactions
?? FYI: I use chatGPT to make my writing clear and accessible to both neurotypical (NT) and neurodivergent (ND) readers. I do this because I tend towards writing long AuDHD essays, often going off on tangents, with lots of side quests, facts, figures and minimal filler words. I paste my wall of words into chatGPT and ask it to organise it, make it more succinct, and also make it easy to read for NT and ND audiences.
Background
My preferred way to communicate is through reading and writing. It’s much easier for me to clearly express what I want to say, and I can process written information incredibly quickly—it’s one of my strengths. But ask me a question expecting an immediate verbal answer, and I’ll probably glitch. Even if it’s something I know inside out, I’m likely to trip over my words or give the wrong answer. It’s caused me no end of issues in technical interviews.
In those moments, my ears seem to decide, ‘Nah, we’re not sending this to the brain right now thankyouverymuch’ and my mouth goes into some sort of time-warp mode, mixing past, present, and future. Words get jumbled, the wrong ones come out, and before I know it, I’ve accidentally offended someone, left them completely misunderstanding what meant, or they’ve decided I’m not particularly bright. Then, ten minutes later, my ears finally decide to process the words they ignored earlier—right as new ones are coming in. This leads to all kinds of confusion when I randomly answer a question from earlier and expect everyone to still remember the context!
So, let’s get into this and look at how we can bridge the gap in communication at work!
Speech and writing are processed differently
?? Question: Ever noticed how neurotypicals can chat away with small talk and take the scenic route to get to the point — but when neurodivergents write out a detailed, no-?ller explanation, it’s suddenly “too much” or a "wall of words!"? Ever wondered why?
?? Answer: Neurotypicals process speech and writing di?erently, shaped by their focus on social connection.
In conversations, they use tone, body language, and social cues to make sense of ?ller words and small talk, which helps build relationships and create a sense of connection.
In writing, without those social cues, they tend to value e?ciency over connection. They prefer clear and concise communication, often ?nding long explanations or too much detail overwhelming without the back-and-forth of a conversation.
In short, neurotypicals lean into connection and social bonding when speaking, but when it comes to writing, they want clarity and brevity, adjusting their style depending on the situation."
How can we help others understand us?
?? Question: How can we as neurodivergent individuals bridge the communication gap when interacting with neurotypical colleagues? How do you navigate these di?erences e?ectively?
?? Answer: Let’s face it—bridging the communication gap can often feel like trying to translate between two completely di?erent species. Many of us are exhausted from always being the ones adapting to make NT colleagues comfortable, but sharing these strategies not only helps us, it also shows our NT colleagues how much e?ort we put into connecting with them, even when it doesn’t come naturally to us.
You can stay true to yourself and close the communication gap with a few tweaks.
Practical tips to close the communication gap
1. Start with a Clear Agenda
Why: NTs often appreciate structure and knowing the purpose of a discussion upfront.
How: Share key topics or goals upfront for meeting requests, emails, Slack/Teams messages etc... For example: "I want to discuss X and decide Y".
2. Use Structured Yet Relatable Language
Why: NTs tend to prefer conversational and context-rich language but value clarity in professional settings.
How: Present ideas clearly and concisely, but add small relational elements. For example:
3. Practice a Balance of Directness and Warmth
Why: NTs might perceive pure directness as abrupt or impersonal.
How: Combine your direct communication with acknowledgment or empathy. For instance:
4. Build Rapport Through Brief Small Talk
Why: NTs often use small talk to establish connection and build trust.
How: Say good morning before launching into questions. Ask about their weekend with no other agenda or question attached, etc. Keep it brief to avoid discomfort.
5. Be Explicit About Your Communication Style
Why: NTs might misinterpret autistic communication as disengaged or overly formal (resting autistic face anyone?)
How: Explain your style in a way that sets expectations. For example:
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6. Invite Input and Clarify Frequently
Why: NTs often value collaboration and may interpret direct statements as rigid or o?ering set in stone solutions.
How: Include open-ended questions and encourage feedback:
7. Adapt to NT Processing Preferences
Why: NTs may prefer spoken over written communication for brainstorming and decision-making.
How: Use meetings or quick verbal check-ins for discussion and reserve detailed written communication for follow-ups or documentation.
To help you as a neurodivergent, consider using automated transcription tools. You can read the notes after the verbal meeting, ensuring you don't miss anything important.
8. Be Patient with Ambiguity
Why: NTs often communicate less directly and may rely on others to interpret vague points, assuming shared understanding.
How: Politely ask clarifying questions to ensure alignment without implying they’ve been unclear or made a mistake. Frame your questions as a way to con?rm your understanding, showing collaboration and interest:
This approach helps avoid any perception of criticism while fostering clear communication.
9. Leverage Strengths
Why: Your natural focus on logic, e?ciency, and detail is a signi?cant asset in professional settings. When presented e?ectively, these qualities can complement neurotypicals’ strengths, creating a well-rounded approach to problem- solving and decision-making.
How:
1. Use Data and Facts to Back Up Ideas
Present your logical conclusions supported by evidence, which helps demonstrate your thoroughness and builds credibility.
For example: “Based on the data we have, this approach would save X hours and reduce costs by Y%. Does that align with our goals?”
2. Focus on Problem-Solving for Team Goals
Frame your ideas in terms of how they bene?t the team or align with shared objectives. This makes your contributions feel collaborative rather than overly analytical.
For instance: “I noticed we could streamline this process by doing X, which might free up time for Y.”
3. Balance Detail with Accessibility
Adapt the level of detail to your audience. While some may appreciate deep dives, others might prefer a high-level summary ?rst, with detailed backup ready if needed.
Try: “Here’s the big picture: [summary]. I’ve also outlined the supporting details if anyone wants to dive deeper.”
4. Invite Feedback to Show Collaboration
After presenting a detailed idea or plan, invite feedback to encourage open dialogue and make NT colleagues feel included.
Say: “This is what I’ve come up with—what do you think? Are there any adjustments that would make this even better?”
5. Be Open About Your Strengths
If appropriate, explain your strengths and how they can bene?t the team. For example: “I like to dig into the details to ensure everything is covered, but let me know if I need to adjust the level of detail to keep things on track.”
Why does it seem as if other people don't remember stuff?
??A random tangent question triggered by writing the background section
How do other people NOT remember questions they asked when someone answers it a day, week, month later, forcing you to rehash an entire conversation instead of just understanding what it relates to?
??Random tangent answer:
Neurotypicals often mentally ?le away questions and threads of conversations and move on. By the time you answer, they’ve likely forgotten the question and the context, especially if it wasn’t a big deal to them.
For neurodivergents, who often excel at storing and revisiting details, it can be truly ba?ing that others don’t do the same, it’s like you’re picking up the thread of a conversation, but they’ve already tossed that thread in the bin and moved on to a whole new spool.
In this situation it's best to just go with the flow and rehash the conversation. This is usually the only way to bridge the gap in understanding. You can preemptively help by asking "Do you remember that conversation about x, y, z?"
??Do you have any tips or techniques of your own that can help us bridge the communication gap at work? Please share them in the comments.
PS: Thank you Envato for the images from Elements and AI Lab ??