A “brick-wall” teacher
Monica Kochar
Creative Strategist for Education | Curriculum Design | Assessment Frameworks | Learning Innovation | EdTech Strategy | Humane Math Expert| Teachers' Coach
This is my own story and one I am not proud of at all. IGCSE grade 9, we had a student who was a special needs student. He was quite impossible for anyone to get him to focus or work. Not even a single subject teacher could get some work from him. I was the Maths teacher and at wits end. He would not do any classwork or homework. He would allow the class to go on without disrupting it at least once daily.
I became a “brick-wall,” teacher (What is inner discipline? n.d.). I completely lacked the skill of “Neutralizing student arguing”, (Delisio, 2008), and that went against building an empathic approach, which is one of the “nine essential skills for teachers” (Delisio, 2008)
The school counsellor team tried very hard to find some area where they could discover potential in him to give him the space to shine in that area. They found photography and swimming as two fields where he was a champion naturally.
Our clash happened when he was to go for a swimming meet and I had a Maths test on the same day. He came to me and very rudely demanded being excused from the test. That was my tipping point…his rudeness. I refused to grant him an exemption and that lead to him getting a 0.
I hit rock bottom when the student was rude. My Achilles heal.
What happened?
“Maybe when there’s a problem, we should focus not only on the child who doesn’t do what he’s asked, but also on what he’s being asked to do (and how reasonable it is).””, (Kohn, 1995)
The word ‘reasonable’ in this reading struck me. I wasn’t being reasonable. He was a kid who failed at everything in his school life so far except swimming, and was given a chance to excel in it. I was the villain who would not let him get to it for a ‘Maths test’. He needed to succeed for his self-esteem and could see the opportunity in the form of the competition.
What could I have done?
Over the years I have thought about this incident. I could have simply told him, ‘Go for your tournament. Best wishes. We will have a retest when you are back and ready for it’. I could have attended the tournament and cheered for him. That would have calmed his anxiety, the real reason for his rudeness.
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With that I would have paved the way for a relationship where he felt safe with me, for he would have understood that I am a “back-bone” teacher, (What is inner discipline? n.d.) for him and would support him in what he is good at and not what I want him to be good at. That wold have made me a better teacher as (Curwin, Mendler, Mendler) say “It's the ones who create difficulty that force us to expand our skills, and that makes teachers better for all students”.
?“There is nothing quite as soothing for children as being understood”, (Creation House, n.d.)
(PS: Just to end the story…He never got a 0. The principal intervened. He went for the tournament and came back with a silver medal. I gave a retest. We had a good dialogue where we both apologized for our behaviour and existed happily ever after in the classroom.)
References
1.?????Creation House, (n.d.) Between Parent and Child: The work of?Haim G. Ginott.?Retrieved from?https://www.betweenparentandchild.com/index.php?s=content&p=Haim.
2.?????Delisio, E.R. (2008).?Practicing Love & Logic can mean happier schools. Retrieved from?https://www.educationworld.com/a_admin/admin/admin536.shtml
3.?????Kohn, A. (1995).?Discipline is the problem- Not the solution.?Retrieved from?https://www.alfiekohn.org/article/discipline-problem-solution/
What is Inner Discipline? (n.d.). Retrieved from?https://www.theedadvocate.org/edupedia/content/what-is-inner-discipline/