Brewing the perfect blend: Reflections of a coffee lover

My last Saturday morning began with a piping hot cup of coffee and rummaging through some old boxes of my childhood things, when I stumbled upon a wall hanging made of ice cream sticks. This transported me to a not-so-fond memory in my middle-school uniform, refusing to participate in a ‘life skills’ curriculum that mandated me (along with the other girls in my class) to learn needle work, making house hold items like rugs and a lot more on those lines, while the boys were taught to fix a lightbulb and other handy work. A pre-teen version of myself had already come to a realization that I was not one to allow anyone to conform her to a norm because ‘that’s the way it’s done’ – I wanted to be me!

Our lives are tangled in a cobweb of people, commitments, relationships, responsibilities and expectations. These pile up to create a pyramid of standards and measurements, chalking out how one must act, behave and function (and sometimes, how one must look). Although we live in a time that has progressed quite extensively in enabling oneself to authentically be who they are, there still lingers on a very noticeable set of preconceived beliefs and norms, that we are yet to break free from. In my personal experience of having taken on multiple roles where I was considered ‘too young’ or ‘lesser experienced’, I discovered that I was not the only one seeking to find her own unique colors. Be it as a new member in organization, moving to a cross-functional job or someone filling into the shoes of a beloved boss, I have encountered many struggling to strike the right balance of what that has been and what could potentially be. 

Like any coffee lover, over a period of time, I have found my perfect brew that I call my signature style. So, my treat for you today is a hot cup of some of the key ingredients of my unique blend works for me:

Find your signature blend – All of us are so magically distinct that even identical twins are not identical! Knowing and understanding oneself is one of the most difficult, and yet the most important place to start. One could look at the beautiful and poetic expressions of a writer wishing to possess that talent while sidelining their own talent of eloquent speaking or only looking at one’s flaws than celebrating what makes them special. It is often easy looking at a map somebody else charted out, especially if it’s an impressively successful story and then basing your next move on their tried and tested experiences. Although having this cheat-sheet may give you some guidance, drawing out your own map – with new pitstops and unexplored territory, makes your story unique and the one you’ll cherish the most. You are one of a kind, so should be your story! We must surround ourselves with people who come with different skill sets to make us see the world from a different perspective and help us overcome our challenges. Sometimes those closest to us can see something we might not be able to see in ourselves. Knowing oneself is wisdom but knowing others could be our greatest virtue.

Be patient with the decoction – The start of something new may present initial discomfort and sometimes it takes forever to see the desired outcomes, but this initial tussle should not be the reason for you to stop trying. There will always be things that you will love doing, and somethings may feel like a struggle, that is when you will have to figure out a way to do it. Let’s pick the example of an all-time-buzz word - Networking. Although overly used and abused, how many of us can truly say that we have the skill to effortlessly network? Being an introvert, I find it challenging when surrounded by a large group of people. As the nature of my role compels me to meet new people and attend large gatherings (now virtually, of course), I have designed mechanisms to help me build networks that works for me. One that works most effectively for me is by taking this on a 1:1 basis, finding genuine connects where we can bring value to each other through meaningful engagements. Heartfelt conversations, doing those little check-ins, or sometimes just by letting them know that I am there is how I have been growing stronger on my networks, and this has resulted in some very close friendships over the years. Facing challenges is usual, but learning from experiences, making efforts and keep moving that needle is essential. 

A lot can happen over coffee – Somebody once told me, “if 70% of what you do at work makes you happy, you are in the right direction.” One of biggest sources of happiness has been exploring the unexplored through travel & adventure, and this is what made me fall in love with my job. On one of my solo expeditions in the most remote villages in Switzerland has forever imprinted a piece of wisdom that I translate in the way I work. Exploring parts of a different continent was not exactly convenient, the temperature dropped less than 10 degrees, and I was not geared to survive that kind of weather - with cold hands and trembling feet, I tried my best to keep warm. This is when I was spotted by a kind stranger who offered me a hot cup of coffee (COFFEE!!!), which left a smile on my face. This one cup of hot coffee infused with compassion made me reflect on my actions in a different perspective. These experiences of receiving love, care and reaching out to a stranger is something that inspires me when I put together practices, policies & benefits for our people at work. Whether it is pushing for more inclusive approaches to family care or standing by them in difficult times, giving back and making a difference has always been my essence.

The kindness of a simple cup of coffee could go a long way in shaping experiences & teaching important life lessons. Sometimes, all it takes a trip down memory lane to remind you of your choices, failures and triumphs that made you the beautiful person you are. So the next time someone tries to fit you into a box of ice cream sticks you know is not for you, break it! It would be easier breathing outside the box rather than confined up within. Life’s too short to live in the shadow of unrealistic expectations – break free, stay calm and enjoy your coffee! 

P.S: this rounds on me!