Breastfeeding a toddler

There is no lack of “opinions” about the breastfeeding of a toddler. “If he’s old enough to ask for it, he’s too old.” “If he’s got teeth, it’s nature’s way of saying, it’s time to stop.” And not rarely: “Breastfeed a 1 year old? That’s disgusting.” And even health professionals get into the act. Here, “words of wisdom” from a French child psychiatrist, as quoted in Le Soir, a French language Belgian newspaper, on November 29, 2003: “One does not share the breast: to extend breastfeeding past 7 months is without doubt sexual abuse.” Without a doubt best to avoid advice from this psychiatrist.

How do people who say such things develop such strange notions? Breastfeeding into toddlerhood has been the norm in much of the world until very recently. And still is common in many societies.

Here are some quotes on breastfeeding a child older than a baby, from two famous works of literature. There are many but I will keep the length of this article reasonable.

“On Lammas-eve at night shall she be fourteen;

That shall she, marry: I remember it well.

‘Tis since the earthquake now eleven years;

And she was wean’d, I never shall forget it,

Of all the days of the year, upon that day;”

William Shakespeare. Romeo and Juliet. Act I, Scene 3 (Juliet was 3 years old when she was weaned). Yes, and look how she turned out!?

“And have you any children?”

“I’ve had four; I’ve two living—a boy and a girl. I weaned her last carnival.”

“How old is she?”

“Why, two years old.”

“Why did you nurse her so long?”

“It’s our custom; for three fasts…”

Leo Tolstoy. Anna Karenina

Why does it even matter to those who say such things as “If he’s old enough to ask for it…”?

What business is it of theirs? Despite what people might say, accusing me of shaming mothers who don’t breastfeed (I don’t), haranguing mothers at the shopping mall about bottle feeding their babies (I don’t), telling our patients at the International Breastfeeding Centre that formula is poison (I don’t), why can’t people just shut up about a mother who breastfeeds a toddler??Except maybe to tell her it’s a beautiful thing she is doing.

Here are my thoughts on why it matters to so many people.

First of all, because in our society breasts are perceived as sexual playthings only. And, of course, the breast does have an erotic purpose, though not in all societies. But so does the mouth; so, should we cover our mouths in public because the mouth has an erotic purpose as well? We accept that the mouth is for eating and the mouth also has a?sexual or erotic side. But many can’t seem to accept that the breast is more than?only?sexual.

As a result, we accept, grudgingly, that a baby breastfeeds, but a toddler? That’s a little?too?disturbing to too many people, interestingly, often more so to other women. That’s like having sex with children. And that’s where the comments in the first paragraph come from, the disgust at the notion of having sex with children.?Except that a mother breastfeeding a toddler is not having sex with that toddler.

Freud helped propagate the idea that breastfeeding a toddler is somehow not right. Freud believed that children go through several stages, starting from 0 to 1 year in the oral stage, followed by the anal stage, which lasts few years, to be followed by a latent stage… . He believed,?without any real proof, that you cannot be in two different stages at the same time, and it is a sign of “misdevelopment” if a child is still showing signs of being in the oral stage after a year. In other words, still breastfeeding. Psychiatrists are aware of this because they study Freud, but the rest of us have basically forgotten about this declaration of Freud’s while at the same time believing it.

Well, it’s okay to breastfeed after a year, it’s fine to breastfeed until the child can ask for it and even discuss how much he or she loves it, and it’s?not?disgusting. The only disgusting part of this are the reactions of too many people who find breastfeeding a toddler disgusting.

Many doctors (and nutritionists) believe there is nothing in breastmilk after a year (some say 6 months)

If there is nothing in breastmilk after a year, then what’s the point of breastfeeding? Here is where the mother is blamed. “She’s doing it only for herself”, for keeping her toddler a baby, and incredibly, for some sort of sexual pleasure.

The thing is, that breastfeeding is so much more than breastmilk. It is a relationship, a?close, intimate physical and emotional relationship?between two people who are generally in love with each other.

In spite of there being a ton of proof that breastmilk still contains, protein, fat, carbohydrate, immune factors, and growth factors after a year and after 3 years and even longer, many doctors and nutritionists persist in this notion that breastmilk contains nothing after a certain time after birth.

In fact, after a year, breastmilk still contains the long chained polyunsaturated fatty acids that the formula companies like to imply they invented. The antibodies and multiple other immune factors that help resist infection are still there, some in greater quantities than during?the first few months after birth. The various?growth factors (factors which stimulate the development of various organ systems) are still present in the breastmilk.?Growth factors present in breastmilk aid in the maturation of the brain, the gut, and the immune system, as well as other systems.?Breastmilk always contains stem cells, as well as?alpha lactalbumin which, when exposed to stomach acid, changes into HAMLET (human alpha lactalbumin made lethal to tumour cells), and so much more.

How do doctors conclude that there is nothing in breastmilk after a year? I can only guess, but I think one guess has a solid basis in fact.

It is not rare for?a small number of older babies and toddlers to spend long periods on the breast and yet not gain weight. This occurs, usually, because the mother has had?a significant decrease in her milk supply The baby is sucking on the breast and not getting very much milk. Most health professionals do not know how to look at a baby at the breast and know if the baby is getting milk or not. They believe that if the baby is latched on and making sucking movements, he must be getting milk. So, they assume there is nothing in breastmilk after a year or any arbitrary period of time after birth. But this is untrue.?In the first video, the baby is receiving lots of milk. You can tell because of the pause in the chin as he opens his mouth to the maximum. Each suck is open-pause-close. That pause says “I just got a mouth full of milk”.?The longer the pause, the more milk the baby received.

So mothers breastfeeding a toddler of 18 months or 2.5 years or 3.5 years or more, listen to your heart, keep going if both you and the child wish. S/he will be fine. She can even have fun sometimes. Mother to breastfeeding 4 year old "Is there still milk in the breast?" Four year old "Of course". Mother "What does it taste like". Child "Milk, what do you think Coca Cola"?

#breastfeeding #bftoddler #bfimmunefactors #bfgrowthfactors

Please consider buying and recommending my new book: What Doctors Don’t Know About breastfeeding

Print version and ebook version on Amazon:?https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09WC2HCC6

Print version on Praeclarus site:?https://stores.praeclaruspress.com/what-doctors-dont-know-about-breastfeeding-by-jack-newman-and-andrea-polokova/?showHidden=true

?Jack Newman, MD, FRCPC