A Breakthrough for Every Black and Brown Woman Who's Ever Felt "Not Enough"

This started as a #fridayconfessions but kept getting longer and longer, so I decided to share my story as an article instead. Welcome to my world!

As my 59th birthday approached, I felt an intense stirring, almost like my spirit was purging. I started questioning?why certain things still ignited such a resounding response within me and why I pushed myself to the limit year after year.

So, I went to the source. I asked God to show me where it all began, what it would look like to untangle it, and whether I was ready to let it go.

I've done this work with countless executive coaching clients, peeling back the layers of who we?think?we need to be to find who we are. I've done it with my coaches over the years. But this time, I took myself on this journey. I went back to uncover the spirit of overachievement that I've carried for as long as I can remember, wanting to understand:

When and why did it start? How has it shown up in my life? Why does it still hold me? And do I want it to stay?

Here's what I found:

• It began in childhood, rooted in a simple wish to?fit in.
• This drive carried over into the workplace, where I constantly went above and beyond—not just for a decent raise but to feel worthy and to be seen. I pushed myself as if outworking my colleagues could somehow make people overlook the fact that I was Black.
• It became more than a work ethic; it became my identity. Going above and beyond, leaving an undeniable mark—if I wasn’t giving 185% and making an impact, then who was I? I realized I’d internalized this need to prove my worth, as though my existence needed constant justification.
• Overachievement was in my blood. My culture reinforced it, then pushed it to new heights by superiors in every office I entered. "You accomplished ten goals and achieved another 13. But there's still room for improvement."
• Even when I graduated from Advanced Individual Training in the military, medals on my chest and accommodations in hand, my only thought was,?"I hope this is enough to be accepted."

And so it went, on and on, year after year. But now, I'll save the rest for my next book.

Why am I sharing this?

Because looking at Kamala Harris' campaign, I saw a reflection of my journey. This isn't about politics; it's about over-qualification. It's about being "too good" for rooms that still refuse to honor your worth. Her career, like mine, has been filled with achievements, each one a step beyond what anyone could have expected. Yet, even with those accomplishments, there was a refusal to recognize and?respect what was so clearly in front of them.

The irony didn't escape me. More times than I can count, I've gone above and beyond to feel seen and respected in corporate spaces, only to realize that leaving it up to them to validate my worth has never served me—and it never will.

I'm sharing this for every Black and Brown woman reading because I want you to?know?these truths I've learned in the hope they serve as a guide for you:

• I was taught that I had to do more than others to succeed, but that no longer works for me.?I am no longer available for projects, mindsets, or truths that are ignored by those unwilling to see them.
• Each year, I get closer to the IDGAF phase of my life, where I no longer put others' needs before my own.?I will no longer sacrifice my sanity, health, energy, friendships, or dreams to fit into the box others create for me—or to break out of the boxes others put me in.

This is why I'm building a community for women just like us.

A space where we talk about the?R.E.A.L.?challenges of being professional women committed to growth and success—without losing sight of who we?are. You don't have to wait until you're 60 to learn these lessons.

Join the community to learn from my mistakes and other women stepping out of their multi-colored boxes to find absolute freedom.

Sis, what do you truly need?

Your voice matters, and I'd be honored if you took 3 minutes to fill out this quick survey at bit.ly/hewmembershipsurvey . I know the challenges that could have made my journey more effortless, and I'm already building those into our core offerings.

But this community is about?you, too—so I want to know what support would make a difference in?your?life.

If there are women in your network who are ready to reclaim their power, find community, or embrace the IDGAF phase of their lives, please share this with them.

Let's grow through this together, lifting each other as we become who we're meant to be.

Does The Happy Executive Woman? exist?

ABSOLUTELY!!!

#Confessions

#REALTalk

#Overachiever

#Recovering

#IDGAFPhase

#PersonalDevelopment

#SelfAwareness

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With over three decades of expertise in enhancing interpersonal relationships, Anita Charlot stands out as the creator of ?????? ?????????? ?????????????????? ??????????? ???????????????? ?????? ??????????????, the Coloring Her Dreams? ~ The Aspiring Executives Edition Coloring Book, and The Conversations in Color? Corporate Workshop. As a ForbesBLK luminary and contender for the Global Woman Award, Anita continues to pave new pathways in leadership and well-being. She is also the visionary behind Relationship Architect Academy LLC and the award-winning R.E.A.L. Talk Conversation Series?.

A believer in evolving with the times, Anita has integrated AI into her work to supercharge her impact. As a Wellness and retention Strategist, Executive Coach for Black and Brown women, and Corporate Relationship Coach, she leverages AI for efficiency and well-being. Through AI, she streamlines processes, creates more personalized connections, and frees up valuable time to focus on what truly matters: building stronger, more meaningful relationships.

Her philosophy? "They Lied to You; Business IS Personal!?"

Schedule a call today: https://www.calendly.com/coachanitacharlot .