#BreakingtheBias

I BELIEVE IN GENDER INEQUALITY

Tradition is powerful! It tends to hold sway, because it is a belief founded and reinforced by repeated words and actions, through folktales, traditional practice, punishment, family meetings, age groupings and passed down family heritage and more. That is how culture permeates through the energies being generated by these modes of establishing them in the atmosphere, forming beliefs. It?is thus as strong as german floors or a concrete decking. It will require lots of effort to break it down. As you may have known, just some well crafted truths are not enough to route the age old cultural world belief passed down from generation to generation: it doesn't matter if it's true, an outright lie, our forefathers idiosyncrasies or what have you, once it is agreed and reinforced, it just not easily wished away.

One of the reasons for my conviction is my granddad. He was a well traveled Timber analyst. Ferrying timber across the seas in the days of yore and considering the enormity of the goods, they had to move them by sea. He was so well traveled and was gone for years per time, it could be seen in his unusual child spacing. The children were years apart in age, that wasn't the usual in his time and clime, but the call to duty made it so. He was a well spoken good communicator,?and even in writing. With his bundle of experience, interactions with different races and colors plus education, he had an unusual slant and belief. He didn't belief in female education. His culture asserted it and education and exposure couldn't wrestle such bias off him. Now you get my drift. My mum was his first born. (Interestingly, the only female he had by my grandma)

Due of his set bias and discrimination, he had that concluded my mum would amount to nothing, and he spared nothing to repeat his belief to her. So, he made no effort to fund her education, not because he didn't belief in it or lacked the means, he just felt it was a waste of time to expend such on a girl child who will end up married bearing children. I often wondered, (never got to ask him though) how he related with the opposite sex in his travels and what he did when he met them occupying positions of respect? Of course, such wasn’t that prominent in the then known world.

I was also amazed that he was married to my grandmother, an educated daughter of J. G. Campbell, the founder of the West African Episcopal Churches. She was multilingual, went around with my great grandpa on his many evangelistic tours, while he was alive. She worked in a business concern till old age of retirement. Hmmm

Well, grandma made sure her daughter went to school. Mum was very intelligent and determined. Right from childhood, she knew what she wanted to be, a Nurse and she pursued it with fervor until it became a reality. She specialized and gave her career all that it took to be among the best. She eventually attained to the pinnacle of her chosen field of endeavor before retiring. She was on constant education throughout her years in service. I grew up seeing her going for specialization courses at different times and up till now, in her 80s; you will still find her reading. Whenever she visits with us, she enters my library pick up books and read. She had a thing for education, and since her retirement, she has had two degrees and one diploma. Hahaha!

Despite that she was an unappreciated female gender by her dad, she commanded so much respect among her siblings, a rallying point, providing leadership and earned their respect till date. She literally sent one of her younger brothers to school, up till his higher education as a qualified Mechanical Engineer. The first house she built, it was her brother who lived there immediately he got married, and thus, he had a soft landing. She stood out and is fulfilled by all means, despite the bias towards her. Were she to have given up, the world would have lost the opportunity to be blessed by her career.

In his later years, granddad lived with mum till he exited the earth. Before his departure, he always repeated, if anyone had told him it was his daughter who would cater for him at old age, he would not have believed it. She didn’t consider his bias, rather she treated him as her father, took care of him and grandma, while at the same time raised her children with such firm grip and determination.

In this regard, I think anyone who segregated against the women folks based on their sex is shortsighted. I do not think there is any difference in both sexes when it comes to intelligence, leadership, commitment, diligence to duty, making a difference, succeeding at endeavors etc, given same opportunity, both sexes will succeed equally. Of course, I do not deny that biological frame of the woman might give the man some advantages, but, she has edge over him also in those peculiar aspects of the woman.

Having clearly revealed how strong, determined and intelligent a woman can be, using my mum as a case study, I also believe strongly in gender inequality of some sort. I may appear to be speaking from both sides of the mouth, but it is not so. I will prove my point in time. At least, from my grandpa drama, you know I am an offshoot of a strong, determined, intelligent and fulfilled woman. Her life experience has caused me to since accord the women folks?the earned respect. Till date, I have a strong affinity for them, I respect them in every sense of it and I do not believe in looking down on anyone under any guise, much less sex.

Importantly, it is from my empathy for them and seeing their peculiarities, that I believed women should not be treated on the same terms with men, at least when it comes to biological orientation, but not in academic or career capacities. My oxymoron is, women should not be discriminated upon because of their gender, but they should also be accorded some level of regards because of their biological conformity.

This may sound confusing, but?that’s the way I believe it should be. The women folks are a unique set, whom I believe need pampering, attention, tender loving care and appreciation. Not because they are weak, but because of their strength, cultural, biological and nature's demand placed on them; their expected sacrifices.

This we ought to do, not to down play their intelligence, their work ethics and determination, but honor their difference. I say this with the hindsight that I don't believe in any over generalization attributed to them, because there are men who fit perfectly into some of those descriptions. And there had been times when men who fitted the generalization wants to act out of sync because they think it is wrong to be themselves.

Another reasons they deserve double honor, but not discriminated upon is our differences. For one, guys have their ways of relating among themselves; sometimes being rough and brash is a celebration of manhood. There are ways the males appreciate themselves, which is quite alien to the opposite sex. In other word, the men have their world, their uniqueness, which is somewhat birthed in their biology. Part of which is the knowing and feeling of freedom, a guy never feels inhibited, unlike the ladies. That extra demand is not placed upon them and they think they have the liberty to be who they want, which gives them an air.

In the same vein, the woman is made to feel responsible, because nature placed upon her the duty to nurture, to breast feed and to care. Once abgirl is entering puberty, she is directly or indirectly tutored for the duty placed on her, not by choice but of nature. No man can do what she does; she is crafted for the demand.

These attributes are peculiar to her, no man however he wished would ever know what it means to bear such load. In fact, it has been proven that a woman's threshold for pains far exceeds that of a man. Science proves this through child bearing and sometimes menstrual pains.

Though I strongly believe women should never be discriminated upon both at home and at work places, but I strongly advocate that there should be inequality in the way they are honored. Agreed, we are same in intelligence, commitment, determination and efforts, we are different in our biological responsibilities. In other words, what a woman can do and are expected to perform, no man would be able to so do successfully. They are the ground upon which the seed of humanity will be nurtured, grow and perpetuate. It doesn’t matter how viable a seed is, until it meets a fertile ground, it will bear no fruit, and if the ground is not well nourished, it may not be able to bear good fruit. This is expected of the woman, despite that she still competes favorably with the man in every ventures. Yet the natures call, she cannot deny or ignore, else humanity will go extinct on earth. For this reason, I believe therefore in gender inequality in honor, but not bias towards women because of their biological frame.?Happy International Women Day.