Breaking Your Upper Limit: Why We Hold Ourselves Back from True Happiness

As a Learning & Development professional, I’ve had the opportunity to work with professionals from various walks of life. Through countless conversations, workshops, and coaching sessions, one theme has consistently stood out: many of us unknowingly limit our own happiness. It’s not the lack of opportunities or external hurdles that hold us back—it’s often internal beliefs and habits that sabotage our potential for real joy. I too was made aware of it by Anindya Bhattacharyya .

Based on my interactions, here are seven key reasons professionals hold themselves back from breaking through their happiness ceilings, and how we can start changing that today:

1. Limited tolerance for happiness.

From my experience, everyone seems to have an internal "happiness thermostat." Once we hit a certain level of joy or success, many unconsciously self-sabotage to bring themselves back to familiar territory. I’ve seen this play out countless times—professionals downplay their accomplishments or overthink the next step simply because it feels safer. Expanding your capacity for happiness begins by embracing discomfort and pushing beyond the limits you’ve grown accustomed to.

2. Fear of outshining others.

Many people hold back because they fear being perceived as "too successful" or "too happy." In discussions with professionals, I’ve observed that some prefer to stay under the radar to avoid triggering jealousy or judgment from others. But the truth is, playing small doesn’t serve anyone. The more authentic you are in owning your success and joy, the more you give others permission to do the same.

3. Choosing the familiar over the unknown.

I've noticed that even when presented with better opportunities or more fulfilling paths, people tend to choose the comfort of what they know. The professionals I interact with often express a deep-seated reluctance to embrace change, even when it’s clearly in their best interest. Breaking this cycle requires redefining happiness as something that comes from pursuing what truly aligns with your values, not just what feels safe.

4. The fear that happiness equals complacency.

A common theme I’ve encountered is the belief that once we allow ourselves to feel happy, we stop striving for more. It’s as if happiness is seen as the finish line. But real happiness isn’t about giving up; it’s about finding joy in the journey and using that energy to propel ourselves forward. When we stop viewing happiness as an endpoint and start seeing it as fuel for growth, we unlock greater potential for achievement.

5. Procrastination as a form of self-sabotage.

The gap between knowing and doing is where many professionals get stuck. I’ve observed that it’s not a lack of knowledge or insight that holds people back—it’s the hesitation to act on it. In this space, doubt and discomfort thrive. The professionals I’ve worked with often know exactly what they need to do, but resistance keeps them in limbo. Taking action, however small, is the key to breaking free from this cycle.

6. Believing happiness is circumstantial.

Too often, I hear professionals say that happiness is something they’ll feel once they’ve achieved X or reached Y. But over time, I’ve realized that this thinking keeps them on a perpetual chase. True happiness doesn’t come from external circumstances; it comes from choosing how to perceive and respond to life’s challenges. It’s about cultivating joy internally, rather than waiting for it to be handed to you by the world.

7. Not practicing happiness.

One of the most surprising things I’ve learned is that many people don’t know how to practice feeling good. They think happiness just "happens" in response to events, but in reality, it requires consistent effort. From my work with teams and individuals, I’ve seen firsthand the power of daily gratitude, mindfulness, and focusing on the positive. These practices raise your baseline, helping you sustain happiness even in the face of challenges.

The professionals I’ve worked with have taught me that happiness is not a destination—it’s a deliberate choice, a skill we must cultivate and expand. It’s time to stop letting our upper limits define us and start rewriting the boundaries of our potential, both personally and professionally.

#LearningAndDevelopment #EmotionalIntelligence #ProfessionalGrowth #HappinessIsAChoice #PersonalDevelopment