Is Breaking Up The Easy Road Out?

Not Going To Lie, This Won't Be Easy For Some Couples To Hear.

Everyone knows that each relationship represents a learning opportunity. A way to be better and more aware so that each successive person gets the best version you can be each time. However, as you grow and evolve each relationship should be "testing" you at the new level of maturity, emotional intelligence and mental and spiritual awareness you have gleaned over time.

Yet that is rarely the case.

Let's be honest, it is a very rare few that are still with their high school sweetheart. I know of two such couples. The majority of you have dated more than 10 people and have entered into a "serious" relationship at least 3-5 times in your adult life.

Yet, history will tell you that very little relationship growth has happened. Go on and put it to the test, the way you are now and how you feel about your relationship is a reflection of that.

Sure, you KNOW it all. You've done the work, got the books, gone to many seminars, watched countless YouTube videos, and confided in friends, coaches and gurus. You've got all the insights and tools you need to right the ship and address the issues of the day, yet here you are unable to put it all together and make it so.

Why is that? Why is this "rinse and repeat" cycle a reality for most couples?

Why is the feelings of frustration, apathy and resentment so common place between the two people in the world that should be the closest, most passionate, and most loving toward one another?

That's the question of the ages right there!!

The answer lies in your habitual relationship programs that were rooted in your childhood. Yes! You are playing out unconscious relationship programs to mirror what your parents or role models had. But remember, they were imbedded at the age of maturity they were founded in. In other words, you picked up on things that a 6 year old can't really process properly and spun it to fit a story or drama you bought into.

Abandonment issues, not being good enough, not being loveable and having to fight for attention are common.

What it means to be loved is a very nuanced conversation. Depending on how you grew up, "being loved" can have very diverse, perverse and seemingly apposing definitions. For some, what it means to be loved can be all about pushing the other away, even when everything is going great.

Take some time to sit with yourself, and go into meditation and get quiet. Go back in time and reflect on your relationship patterns. Don't reflect on your exes' behaviours, just focus on yours during the good, the bad, and the ugly times in each relationship.

What common patterns in you show up?

How much of that pattern was present when you or they decided the relationship was over?

How much of that pattern are you exhibiting now with your beloved?

Does your current partner know of this pattern or core program in this pattern?

The pattern that had the power to help destroy previous relationships before him or her got into your life.

Both of you have this core program running the show behind the scenes. You don't have to even worry if it is there working or not as it operates without you having to do anything. Much like your heart pumps, your lungs breaths, and you skin feels, it just does it.

It is imperative that you both come clean with what your programs and patterns are. Even if you feel embarrassed, ashamed or guilty for them being there, the more transparent you can be, the more you both can address the elephant in the room.

However, I pull no punches here, it starts with you and your programs the F-up the works. Stop pointing fingers at your partner for the shit show you are in. You saw the red flags early on, because...well you know...you are so much more awake than you were before, so you know how to spot them sooner. You saw them in your partner and yet here you are holding a bunch of red flags and questioning the future of your relationship...again!

Things will only change when you decide to change yourself first. Projecting blame onto your beloved is just an easy cop out to pacify your ego and absolve you of your faults and how you show up. In many ways we create our beloved to show up the way they do because we taught them to be just as they are.

We need them to be this way to fulfill the story and drama we've carried forward.

Without it we don't get the payoff our shadow self needs.

It's not easy to hear this, but the truth is your salvation. The sooner we take 100% responsibility for our role in the relationship the sooner you'll see your beloved with new eyes. When you both do the work, you have the opportunity to see the gift that your beloved represents in your life.

He or she is here to help remind you of your old programs so you can heal them for good. As you do the work that you promised yourself awhile back that you'd do, you just might feel the trust, honesty, real love, passion and attraction return.

Now it's your turn, reflect and see if there's some patterns and programs in your history that have blinded you from seeing your current partner for who and what they are.

Perhaps there are some erroneous assumptions you've made about your beloved because of it.

Remember, do this work with your present awareness, perceptions and knowledge. The self that is very awake and aware is the one doing the work. This will help you go into it with compassion, empathy and a learning attitude for self discovery.

You've got this!

Be Remarkable!"

If you found this article of value, please like, share and comment on it. I'd love to hear your thoughts and feedback!

If you are looking for resource, tools or coaching to create your remarkable relationship, date or ignite the remarkable man within, then I invite you to DM me today and set up your no-obligation 50-minute zoom Breakthrough Disvovery call. Let's have a transformative and powerful conversation about where you'd like your next breakthrough.

Remember, you are not alone on the journey...I've got your back!

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