Breaking Through Self Sabotage

Coaches, sports therapists, personal trainers, do you find yourself working with clients who seem to be doing well and then suddenly?and frustratingly,?that good work?starts to unravel?

If yes?you’re not alone. Perhaps you too have?experienced the same?when trying to embed personal changes.

What?underlies this is often simply?– at least on one level?- that old self-sabotage. All of us can be pretty good at it in at least one area of our life.?I believe it’s?number one reason why people stop making progress or revert to old habits and behaviour patterns. However, what?lies under that self-sabotaging behaviour may not be quite so simple.?

Bumps in the road or major disasters?

Self sabotage?often stems?way back to things we were told or experienced as children, leading us to form unhelpful patterns of thought and behaviour that present in myriad ways. Here are just a few.

It might manifest as 'catastrophising' - as in when something ‘bad’ happens we blow it up into a major disaster instead of?a bump in the road.?We then give up trying because underneath it all, we don’t believe we’re good enough.

We might put blocks in the way of the changes we’re trying to make to avoid messing up and then having to deal with a mistake. Or on making a mistake and being less than perfect, we fall apart and instead of re-routing or getting back on track, we simply stop.

We might leap to negative conclusions about something?without looking at the evidence or being open to a different view. Or we can become super critical of ourselves and others; react defensively; misread situations and fall into victim mode.

All these strategies and behaviours?ultimately destroy our relationships and our happiness. We can get to the point where we always see?the negative, not?the positive. Then we?become locked in a vicious circle of expecting the worst,?then acting accordingly and effectively creating that reality. ?

It’s all in our wiring

Phew, it’s exhausting reading that back, never mind actually living it! Yet for many people?this is the reality of their lives. With each new self-sabotage cycle is accompanied by lower?self-efficacy and self-esteem?and greater self-loathing, topped with?fear, guilt and despondency. What's more is most of these thoughts, feelings and emotions are?very often?kept on the inside.

To the outside world, self-saboteurs can be experts at offering plausible reasons for not sticking with a programme - it’s not the right time; they’re ill; the coach isn’t very good; the programme isn’t any good; they’ve got?a lot of stuff going on; they haven’t enough time?- the list goes on.?

Coaches and sports therapists get stuck because they're trying to work with someone’s conscious, rational mind. Yet all they're doing that, the client’s unconscious mind is running a powerful, hard-wired script of its own, which is in direct conflict with what the conscious mind wants to achieve. As the two parts of the mind grapple for control, it creates a push-pull effect, an inner battle for control and without the right intervention, the unconscious mind usually wins as it's running the show.

For a coach this is immensely frustrating; and for the self-saboteur it is yet another f*ck-up they can add to their personal history, which reinforces limiting beliefs that this is just the way that they are.

Making it to the end instead of falling at the final hurdle

It really doesn’t have to be like this though. I used to be a personal trainer and?nutrition coach and I know the frustrations that people in these industries experience because I’ve been there too. That is, until I discovered NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and Breakthrough Coaching.

Oh did it so open my eyes!

The brilliant thing about studying NLP is that the learning takes place on two fronts. First?of all?you experience all the processes yourself, so you understand first hand the powerful transformation that takes place,?because it happens to you too.?You learn so much about how your own mind works, your view of the world,?your own motivations and blocks.

In turn this gives you a wonderful insight into how other people's mind works, how they view the world, what drives them forward and what holds – or pulls - them back.

More than this though, NLP gives you the thinking, tools and techniques to support people in making profound changes to get effective and long-term lasting results. It's not a magic wand that immediately prevents a client from trying to self-sabotage at some point in your programme. However it means that when,?or in some cases before they do, you have the skills to get to the heart of what drives that behaviour and you can work with the client to eradicate, neutralise or reframe the thought processes and emotions that underpin it.

For the client, this is powerful and transformative. They’re able to make lasting changes when previously they fell at the last - or first - hurdle. More than that, they’re able to experience a freedom and confidence that they never thought possible. This leads to a vastly improved view?of themselves, better relationships and greater success.

Creating powerful, lasting transformations

As coaches and trainers, it’s incredibly satisfying to help our clients make these lasting positive changes. Let’s face it, we all got into this line of work to help people free themselves from emotional (and sometimes physical) pain and negative thinking, so watching it happen is so very rewarding. It also means that more clients beat a path to our door. That’s why I believe the Enhanced NLP?Coach?Certification is a must have for coaches and therapists and hence why I trained to train others. On a personal, NLP has transformed my life and professionally it’s helped me to help others in powerful and lasting ways.

If your curiosity has been sparked and you'd love to find out more or book a place on the Enhanced NLP Coach Practitioner training, you can check out my website here https://abovebeyondcoaching.co.uk/neuro-linguistic-programming-training-courses-bristol/ or send me a DM to have an informal chat about how the certification can help you. Training dates are:

Enhanced NLP Coach Practitioner: 2nd?– 10th October 2021?

Master NLP Practitioner:?Week 1: Sun 31st October – Sat 6th November and Week 2: Sun 5th – Sat 11th December 2021

Take the first step today to enhance your skillset, transform your coaching practice and the lives of your clients!