Breaking Through The Noise Of Anxiety and Stress
Jacqueline Wales
From Fearful to Fearless: Unlocking Potential in SMB's | TEDx Speaker | Vistage Speaker | Homeward Bound Leadership Coach | Transformation Guaranteed Day One
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“The unexamined life is not worth living.” - Socrates
We all have a radio playing in our heads. But you have to ask…am I tuned to the right station?
I call this the Yadda Yadda radio and you need to change the channel fast.
Too many of us are tuned to the wrong station.
We hear negative voices fueled by fear, uncertainty or worry for the future. We self-talk ourselves out of things instead of giving ourselves positive affirmations about the future.
The negative voices we hear are the source of most of our fears and anxieties.?
These voices tell us things like, “You’re not smart, not capable, or you should know better.”
These voices hold us back from being bold, taking more risks, asking for what we want, or simply believing?we can make positive changes in our life.
It can be hard defining who’s doing the talking until you consider the source. You may be hearing your parents, teachers, well-meaning friends, or bosses who thought they knew what was good for you.
Our minds are tricksters,?convincing us things are real when it’s really our imaginations on overdrive.
We fear the worst, and we create drama in our lives to match our feelings. This justifies our behavior, quantifies our circumstances, and supports buying into the stories we tell ourselves.
Negative thoughts manifest as:
The truth is many are invested in staying in stuck places.
They get attention when they complain, or when they feel that circumstances are working against them. It gives an excuse to give in, give up, or simply put up with whatever it is that’s not working. I’m sure you know people like that.
Here’s what I know to be true.
If we never take risks we will fail to get what we want.
You can always blame it on circumstances. You can ignore the signals that demand you?make different choices. You can believe that what you think about yourself is true, or you can examine other possibilities.
CHANGE YOUR THINKING
In a recent study, researchers at University College London found that?repetitive negative thinking is linked to cognitive decline, and a greater risk of dementia. ?
Depression and anxiety are root causes of mental decline in people 55 and over.
During the last few years there has been a lot of negative thinking for good reasons, but if you use the news as your guide to what you should be worried about, it won’t help you to move forward.
The news channels offer fear-based thinking which may be the flavor of the day, but it’s still negative and it can harm your brain.
“I think therefore I am.” – Descartes
Freud was one of the first psychologists to define the mind as an iceberg.
We are only aware of the top part, our conscious mind. What is submerged below our conscious mind is the unconscious, a mass of thoughts, feelings, urges and memories that are the drivers of our conscious mind.
“I think therefore I feel” is generally where this goes.
The feelings are brought to the surface by events, circumstances, relationships, and the everyday challenges we encounter.
The stress of continual bad news cycles keeps the worry levels high. It’s hard to be positive under such circumstances.
It’s essential we find the bright spots because our mental health is key to our mental wealth.
In Dr. Martin Seligman’s book?Learned Optimism , he tells the story of his own depression and how he began to recognize and challenge pessimistic thinking to develop more positive behaviors.
He believed that in normal circumstances, depression is learned helplessness, and?by developing optimism you can consciously challenge your negative self.
LIFE IS CHANGE
Less than 2% of the world’s population makes a conscious effort to change.?Most of the time change happens by circumstance.
领英推荐
So how do you identify the stories that are holding you back?and train yourself to be more positive?
How do you tune into the mindset that propels you forward?
Simply put.?We must question our thinking , and?be willing to challenge the negativity with a simple question. Is it true?
You may think your negative thinking is true, but do you have evidence of that, or is simply you draining your mental bank account with an overdrawn sense of worthlessness?
We have more control over our minds than we think we do!
Change has been the biggest driver of my life, whether I invited it in or not!
Through several decades of unsparing change, I have consistently been challenged to change, and while I may have resisted at times, it has always been clear that?the only way through is to figure out how to do life differently – how to think differently.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
Change means facing our limitations, our feelings of inadequacy, and our belief that we may not be good enough. It means challenging a state of mind that impacts the quality of our life.
To change, you must?let go of limited thinking, and confront the behaviors that are not serving your best interests. Letting go of what doesn’t serve you is your journey of discovery.
We spend our lives looking for answers, but what if you spent your life looking for the right questions. What do you think would happen?
It takes courage to look yourself in the mirror and ask:
?To make changes that stick,?you must be prepared to dig deeply and find what matters most to you. You must believe in yourself and be willing to do the work to become the better version of you.
TRANSFORMATION IS POSSIBLE
To transform yourself,?you need to redefine your relationship to uncertainty.
Build greater resilience by being willing to endure the discomfort that will occur as part of the change process.
You must be willing to take a deep dive into the areas that need to change by asking yourself the questions you may want to avoid.
As I cheerfully tell my clients, “Get comfortable being uncomfortable.”?It’s how we change for the better.?
When you no longer see the benefits of remaining in your place of anxiety and stress you are ready to begin an adventure of?discovering other choices and other outcomes.
Choice is an option.?When you don’t choose, you are making a choice.
Next time you hear a negative voice in your head question its source.
Ask yourself who is doing the talking. Is there a familiar sound to that voice?
If you can name it, you can change it.?
Decline the invitation to complain.
Decline the invitation to blame.
Decline the temptation to just give in or give up.?
Tune into a different station!
Choose to take another approach. Choose positivity and strengthen your ability to trust yourself.?
Embrace change and break through the noise of anxiety and stress that keeps you in uncertainty and confusion. ?
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Who is Jacqueline Wales:
I spent a lifetime living with fears that limited my thinking and created behaviors that ended in self-sabotage and bad choices. I recognized how damaging this was to my own life and that of my children and decided to transform. I became a published author and an executive coach, and shared my experiences in four books. With over 35 years in personal development I created and developed an online program called Transformational Strategies for Success to enable leaders to take greater ownership and authority in their chosen roles. If you would like to learn more?visit my website .
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Owner & Founder at Effortless LLC
1 年People often say, "You get out what you put in." What if you don't know how to change your mindset or are unable to see the negativity you are putting out? I think your points in this article give us an excellent opportunity to reflect on where we are and what our inner voice is saying. Well said as always Jacqueline!
Strategy + luck for the win. Founder Coach. Owner, Fiji Islands Resort. 7x venture exits. TEDx Speaker. Host, The Mavericks Game.
1 年A critical topic right now, Jacqueline Wales. We are all navigating stress and anxiety, for sure. I took myself on a solo retreat last weekend, without Internet. Completely disconnected. I don't often tune in to that repetitive channel. As you say, I change it. But I decided to listen last weekend, because I wondered why it was still playing at times, even though I've grown past its tune. I didn't make it wrong. I came with curiosity and openness, to discover what might still be there for me. And goodness, did I get whopper insights! It wasn't easy, but I may have now shifted the programming on that particular channel.
Researcher, counselor, and educator working on the intersection of health, psychology, and behavior.
1 年This was a great read, Jacqueline. I like the images that you provided in your article. The radio channel that we tune in to more often than others. When we listen to the same radio channel, the same songs start playing. This repetitive “yadda yadda” quality also applies to the voices of our internal entourage. The repetition has a hypnotic effect. So it is important to examine what we are listening to and to realize that we have a choice in it. The radio is our radio. We have the agency to move the dial and change the station. This also applies to our internal voices. Once we understand the dynamic of our internal entourage, who takes the inner microphone more often than others, we can utilize this inner feedback system to our advantage as you beautifully describe.
Licensed integrative doctor and Nutrition Professor guiding women over 40 through perimenopause and menopause to reclaim their body, mind and mojo. Rediscover your energy, sleep well and fell like yourself again!
1 年Fantastic article to get us thinking about recognizing when the need for change arises. I already wrote your "dig deep" questions in my journal prompt me!
Guiding leaders to clarify their path to growth, so they can overcome business plateaus and reach new levels of success | Business Growth Strategist | Leadership Coach | Author | Speaker | Forbes Coaches Council
1 年"Yadda Yadda radio" -- love that :) Great article.