Breaking Through the Barriers to Receiving

You can only give what you have received.

The premise underlying my first three books—the Inside Out Leadership trilogy that includes Lead the Way, All In, and Move the Needle—centers on the notion that you can only give what you have received. Devoting my life’s work to assisting others, I aim to empower leaders to embrace their authentic identity and purpose, enabling them to generously share their gifts with others.

I have encountered many leaders who are known for their generosity and ability to give. However, I’ve also experienced others who give with a selfish motive, ex-pecting something in return. Regardless, both types of leaders tend to avoid being in the “receiving spotlight,” fearing that it might be perceived as a sign of weakness. Being open to receiving can be seen as an act of vulnerability, which is something leaders often try to avoid. While receiving can empower the giver, it is generally not something leaders prefer from their perspective. Because of this weakness, they find it difficult to consider different viewpoints or incorporate them into company culture.

Looking back at the beginning of my journey with Abdul, I realize now that it was a blessing that I hadn’t progressed too far before his involvement. I hadn’t relied too heavily on my default mechanism of giving or ignored the benefit of receiving. If I had, that could have hindered my ability to fully embrace and continue on this explorative journey with Abdul.

It’s worth mentioning that receiving generally fits into these three categories: (1) receiving praise or compliments, (2) dealing with different viewpoints or opinions, and (3) accepting help and support (I’ll explain this in greater detail in Chapter 7, “Silent Strength Radiates”). And in order to truly receive, we must overcome our natural inclination to give.

Before we delve into this further, it’s essential to explore seven primary reasons why receiving from those very different from us is often challenging.

#1 Hurt Can Hold Us Back

#2: The Path of Least Resistance

#3 Letting Go of Control

#4 Fear of Conditions Placed on Giving

#5 Moral Guidelines, Faith-Based Principles

#6: Unveiling the Noble Mask

#7: The Paradox of Closeness

Reflection

Take a moment to reflect on the barriers that have historically hindered you from fully receiving from others, particularly those who are different from you. If you’re still reading this, it suggests that you are, at the very least, curious and perhaps even ready to embark on the most transformative Inside Out Leadership journey of your life. This journey requires tapping into the depths of your authentic self while embracing your experiences and where you’ve been. It echoes your creative curiosity, much like my own initial journey with Abdul. Remember, it’s never too late to reconnect with the child- like wonder within you!

As you embark on this exploration, remember that you hold the keys to your own heart as a gatekeeper. It’s not about receiving everything all the time but rather learning how to open yourself up to receiving from anyone anywhere. Overcoming big barriers and receiving and embracing genuine humility in the process requires acknowledging a universal truth that when we approach receiving with childlike openness, there is a purity and authenticity that goes beyond any sense of deserving. The most precious and fulfilling aspects of life are free—free from conditions, accusations, manipulation, and judgment. Imagine the impact we could make if we tapped into the innocence and power of receiving from anyone anytime, and in our giving, gave from that place of abundance.

(**Excerpt from my upcoming book, "Lessons from Abdul: The Hidden Power of Receiving from Anyone, Anytime")

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• Hardcopy: https://tinyurl.com/ms65suut
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About Robb Holman

Robb Holman is a sought-after Global Keynote Speaker and Author of four transformational leadership books, Lead the Way , All In , Move the Needle , and his upcoming book, Lessons from Abdul . In recognition of his expertise, Robb was named one of the world's top 30 leadership speakers by Global Gurus for three consecutive years (2022, 2023, 2024). His innovative Inside Out Leadership philosophy has gained significant recognition and has been featured in publications like Inc, Forbes, and Fast Company. You can visit Robb by going here .