Breaking the Silence: The Healing Power of Writing About Your Trauma

Trauma. It's a word that doesn't sit easily with me, and I'm sure I'm not alone in this discomfort. There are a million reasons why this term can feel so challenging to embrace or even acknowledge. For me, it's a hard word to digest, as if somehow it labels me as damaged goods. Perhaps it's also the fear and vulnerability of being judged that makes it so difficult to accept. There's so much truth in that hesitation, that reluctance to identify with such a weighty term.

It's all too easy to fall into the trap of comparison. When I read about other people's life challenges, I often feel that what I've been through wasn't "that bad." But that thinking is utter bollocks. I don't need to diminish my experiences in the wake of others' trauma, and neither should you. This minimisation is a coping mechanism, one that might provide temporary comfort but ultimately hinders our healing process.

The reality is trauma isn't just a memory of a terrible event; it's a profound emotional and psychological impact that can shape our lives in ways we might not even recognise. It doesn't have to be a catastrophic, life-altering moment to qualify as trauma. Sometimes, it's the accumulation of smaller experiences that leave lasting impressions on our psyche.

As I've grappled with my own experiences, I've discovered a powerful tool for healing: writing. While many talk about the importance of verbal expression, putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) has been a game-changer in my journey towards healing and self-understanding. Let me share with you why this often-overlooked method of expression can be so transformative.

The Complicated Nature of Trauma

Before we dive into the power of writing, it's important to understand the complex nature of trauma. It's a response to a deeply distressing or disturbing experience, and its effects can be far-reaching and long-lasting, even without a formal diagnosis of PTSD.

One of the most insidious aspects of trauma is how it can lead us to form limiting beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world around us. You might find yourself thinking:

"It wasn't even that bad."

"It was so long ago. Why am I still upset?"

"I should just get over it."

"Other people have had it much worse."

"Nobody would understand."

I've had these thoughts and know how damaging they can be. They minimise your experience, invalidate your feelings, and can seriously impact your healing process. It's important to recognise these thoughts for what they are – often internalised messages from a society that doesn't always know how to deal with trauma – and to challenge them as part of your recovery.

The Importance of Processing Trauma

For a long time, I bought into the prevailing wisdom to "put it behind you", “let it go”, or "move on" from traumatic experiences. However, I've learned that unprocessed trauma doesn't simply disappear. Instead, it can manifest in various ways, affecting our mental health, relationships, and even our physical well-being.

When we don't process trauma, our bodies and minds hold onto it. This stored trauma can lead to a variety of symptoms, including flashbacks, avoidance behaviours, anxiety, depression, trust issues, and even physical symptoms like headaches or chronic pain.

I believe that my spine fracturing was my body, showing me how fractured my life was. It was only when I started to truly process my trauma that I began to find relief. Although I believe that we are all works in progress and things will come back to be healed, hopefully in not such a terrible way.

The Power of Writing it Out

This is where writing comes in. While therapy (EMDR specifically) has been an important part of my recovery, I've found that writing offers a unique and complementary approach to healing. Here's why putting pen to paper can be so transformative:

• Safe Expression: Journaling provides a private, judgment-free space to express your deepest thoughts and emotions about the trauma. It's a place where you can be completely honest without fear of anyone else's reactions.
• Externalisation: Writing about your experiences helps to externalise them. By putting your trauma on paper, you create some distance between yourself and the event, allowing for new perspectives to emerge.
• Tracking Progress: Regular journaling allows you to track your healing journey. You can look back and see how your thoughts and feelings have evolved over time, providing encouragement and insight.
• Unlocking the Subconscious: Stream-of-consciousness writing can tap into subconscious thoughts and feelings about your trauma, bringing hidden aspects to light for processing.
• Regaining Control: Trauma often leaves us feeling powerless. Writing about your experience allows you to take control of the narrative. You decide how to tell your story, what to focus on, and how to frame your experience.
• Cognitive Processing: The act of writing requires us to organise our thoughts and put them into words. This process can help make sense of chaotic or fragmented memories associated with trauma.

Therapeutic Writing Exercises

In my own journey, I've found certain writing exercises particularly helpful for processing trauma. Here are some you might consider:

• Letter Writing: Compose letters to your past self, the perpetrator, or others involved in your traumatic experience. These letters are for your eyes only, allowing for unfiltered expression. I usually say thank you and burn them.
• Narrative Reconstruction: Rewrite your traumatic experience, focusing on your strength and resilience. This can help shift your perspective from victim to survivor. I’m a big fan of reframing and creative life writing, where I can change whatever I want.
• Gratitude Journaling: While processing trauma is important, balancing it with gratitude can help maintain overall mental health. Gratitude helps us see and feel what’s good about life, and there is lots of good stuff.
• Future Self Journaling: Imagine and write about a healed, thriving future version of yourself. This can provide hope and direction for your recovery.
• Emotion Exploration: Choose an emotion related to your trauma and explore it in writing. Where do you feel it in your body? What thoughts are associated with it?
• Sensory Details: Write about the sensory details associated with positive, safe memories. This can help counterbalance the sensory triggers often associated with trauma.

From Personal Healing to Helping Others

As I've progressed in my healing journey, I've considered sharing my story more broadly. Writing a book about trauma and recovery can be a powerful next step. It can bring new insights, provide hope to others, break stigmas, create a lasting resource, reclaim your narrative, and be personally empowering.

However, it's important to consider a few things before embarking on such a project:

• Emotional Stability: Ensure you're in a stable place emotionally before undertaking such a project.
• Professional Support: Consider working with a therapist or writing coach throughout the process.
• Self-Care: Be mindful of potential triggers and practice self-care while writing.
• Privacy Boundaries: Decide how much personal detail you're comfortable sharing publicly.
• Expert Collaboration: Consider collaborating with mental health professionals to add credibility and ensure responsible messaging.
• Legal Considerations: If your story involves other people, consult with a legal professional. Please be careful.
• Publishing Options: Research different publishing options to find what works best for you.

Conclusion

Remember, healing from trauma is not a linear process. There will be ups and downs, breakthroughs and setbacks. Writing can be a constant companion throughout this journey, providing a space for reflection, expression, and growth.

Trauma may be a part of your story, but it doesn't have to define your entire narrative. Through writing – whether it's private journaling, therapeutic exercises, or even authoring a book – you have the power to reshape your relationship with your traumatic experiences. You can move from simply surviving to truly thriving.

Your story matters, and it deserves to be told – even if the only person who ever reads it is you. So pick up that pen, open that notebook, and let your healing journey begin. Remember, you are more than your trauma. Your story of survival and healing has the power to change lives – including, and especially, your own.

Ready to write about your trauma? Come and join me in The Healing Book Project