Breaking The Rage Cycle

"You're either with me or against me!"... or something to that effect.

It's great clickbait, and can be a solid pay-day for folks who are willing to dig their heels in for one side or another (Honestly y'all, do you know how much these polarizing figures get paid to peddle their side?! It’s bananas!)… but most of us know, even if that knowing is buried in the depths of your ragey soul, the world isn’t so black and white.?

Most things in life are nuanced and complex, and refusing to participate in a conversation that explores the fullness of these thoughts is limiting. It smothers our ability to think critically, the expansiveness of our empathy and our curious nature. Those are the very qualities that make us uniquely connected to one another; the foundation of our humanness.?

So why do we get sucked into these rage cycles?

Back-to-Office vs Work-from-Home is one of these hot topics of rage. Without even seeking out this particular subject?I’ve listened to a podcast, read an article, and scrolled several social media posts that have discussed this in the past 3 days alone! Comment sections (which are almost exclusively my worst nightmare!) are packed with defiant statements that range everywhere from, “We are never going back!” to “Let the buildings rot!”.?

As yikes as the comments are, it’s not shocking. After all, I’m a full grown adult who lived through the past 2 Presidential election cycles. I’ve witnessed the depths of “You’re either with me, or against me!”. The places that make a ‘You vs Me’ standoff look like child’s play because we have advanced to a level of destruction that looks more like “You’re either with me, or you need to not exist!”.?

It's just as easy to become numb to the outbursts as it is to get sucked into the rage cycle. I have to wonder if that is by design?

Now I don’t expect that our news outlets or articles published are going to change any time soon (again, the major money is found in an incomplete narrative), but y’all ain’t paying me to write so I’m going to attempt to lessen the gap on this information-loop and exit this rage cycle that has us flailing about like an untrained whip.?

Baseline assumptions:

• We are humans.
• We live in a society.?
• Our economy is an interdependent system.?

Friendly reminders:

• Every decision has a ripple effect.?
• Your privilege is not the standard operating procedure for the rest of the world.?
• We are likely not asking the right questions; keep pressing.?

With those in mind, let’s chat...

“They are calling us back into the office because they are stuck in a lease and need to justify that cost!”

Maybe. But that’s not a complete thought because that argument would suggest the cost is going to occur regardless. So it is ego? Trust? Old-school mentality? Give me one good reason!

Let's assume we never get a more satisfactory explanation from the employer requiring their people to come back to the office. Do we just keep raging? That's no way to live. We have to attempt to finish that narrative information-loop if we are ever going to step outside of the rage cycle.

Let's take a step back and look at this from a wider lens. Beyond the business that you work for. What are some ripple effects that occur from folks commuting to an office vs working from home? Traffic patterns resume for the cafe, dry cleaner, dentist, parking attendant, security guards, HVAC technician, office cleaners, childcare workers, etc, etc, etc. Real businesses, made up of real people, that have real impact and actually matter when you consider the full picture of how we co-exist.?

“We’ve been more productive working from home!”

Maybe. But by what measure? Seriously. How are we determining that? Most people who are raging about going back to the office do not work on a quota-system; meaning, you were hired to complete X number of __ per day. The success of most departments within a business are not reflected by purely an output figure.

So perhaps we press to learn how our organization is defining success and how we can better communicate that definition? Are we output driven? Or is social/cultural contribution also a contributing factor? Are we maybe more reliant on the creative on-the-spot conversations and idea generation that spurred from face-to-face interactions than originally thought? Has the human touch of our communications, service detail, etc fallen a bit by the isolation of a fully remote workforce? I mean, we are in an actual epidemic of isolation… if we, the people, are suffering it only makes sense that the systems we are a part of (business included) are also suffering.?

“I need to be available to care for my children/aging parents.”

Fair. But it's interesting to consider that this, in 2023, is still almost entirely a female perspective (which is a story for another day). I am a staunch advocate for employer flexibility for life events. But an individual employer is not going to move the needle for the entire economy — remember our assumptions and reminders.

To lessen this burden on the folks who are essential to our economy, we need to look to our national laws & policies; 1971 is especially interesting. In 1971 Nixon was convinced at the last minute to veto the bipartisan, Congress passed, Comprehensive Child Development Act; a move that economists have studied and criticized for decades. The United States offering limited support to the Early Childhood sector has, and will continue to, economically stifle folks who need these services & the folks who offer these services. (Not to mention the mental and physical health benefits for children & adults) So yes, it is a valid point… but let’s push pressure where pressure is needed; elected officials.?

So where does this leave us? I told you this wasn't going to fully close the gap, but perhaps it sparked some curiosity to be able to respond to these divided topics with a widened perspective. Maybe even with a deepened sense of empathy. These situations, like so many we are staunchly divided on, are nuanced and complex and require consideration for all the layers if we want to do more than stay stuck in the rage cycle.