Breaking Out : The side of acne we refuse to see

Six months back, I made a decision. A decision out of annoyance, exhaustion and defeat. As I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, my face saturated with a mixture of haldi, kadle maav and neem powder, I frustratedly washed it off before it had even dried (gasp) and tossed out the rest of it, vowing to never let the deadly concoction see the light of day again.

I was going steady with my almost 3 year situation-ship with acne, and the frustration was now palpable. I had gone through every possible remedy only to be met with disappointment at the exit. For those of you who're unaware of the effects that acne can have on you, it can torch your self esteem like no society aunty/uncle could ever dream of achieving in their lifetime. It's an extremely confusing condition because no one really knows why one gets it. There's hormonal imbalance, dehydration, allergic reactions to certain products, excessive toxins in the body - the possibilities are endless. Different things work for different people, but the exasperated sighs during the trial and error process is the same for everyone. It completely drains a person physically, mentally and emotionally.

My Journey

From the Western to the Eastern approaches, my face has literally gone from country to country in search of the right skin care. From rubbing salicylic acid on my face to peroxide scrubs, medicated creams, changing my pillow covers everyday, never pressing cell-phones against my face, using paraben free products, to going from vitamin E to A to C( think of the most indecisive person you know and multiply them by 10. That's the vitamin industry for you), nothing worked. I obviously had to try out every Indian home remedy, the holy grail being turmeric and gram flour. It would yield temporary results, but nothing really seemed to do away with it. This was when I realised that topical solutions aren't as helpful as we're made to believe, and all the cosmetic companies that claim otherwise are just waiting to get sued. I'm looking at you Himalaya neem face wash!

Changing Up The Fuel

So I decided to go deeper and do something about the fuel. Deciding to change my diet was a game changer. I went on a strict fast in order to expel toxins from my system. It was a combination of a raw fast and a juice fast. It improved my skin significantly. The acne reduced to a great extent. I was ecstatic that something had finally worked. We're all well versed with the effects that sugar and processed foods have on our health, but we consciously turn a blind eye to it, much like how I did my whole life. The acne was a reality check for me to assess and become more aware of the food I was putting into my body. The only problem with this method was that I wasn't given any free rein. A tiny slip on the diet, and bombs away! The acne would come back with a vengeance.

When you're trying to solve a stubborn problem, you need to be really flexible. You need to have more degrees of freedom than the problem you're dealing with. So I eventually realised that this wasn't the end, and I had to go deeper.

Think Clear Skin

Our phones not only listen in on our conversations but can apparently read our minds too, because a minute after having this thought, youtube decided to throw out a recommendation for a channel. It's safe to say that this particular YouTuber ended up changing my life. One video of his, and I was hooked. I went down the rabbit hole of his channel, and tried to learn as much as I could. He had more experience than me when it came to dealing with acne. He'd had it for twelve years, and had tried more methods than any dermatologist could recommend. After years and years of searching, he'd finally got the answer to the clear skin that he has today.

The solution - changing the way you think and feel about yourself. Your outer body is just a reflection of the inner body. And if you're living in 2021 and think that the inner body is just composed of your organs, tissues, cells and blood....I got nothing.

The multitude of sheaths, from the mental, emotional, spiritual, all contribute to your movement and existence. My inner self was cluttered and confused. As soon as I recognised this, I knew that it was time to actively get my head in the game and correct the imbalance. The first thing, the YouTuber recommended, was to rewire the way the mind works. The mental models my mind was running on were a result of years of subconscious social conditioning. One of the many beliefs this resulted in was thinking that anything shy of clear skin is abnormal and should be taken care of. So naturally when things started going "south" a feeling of desperation to conform to the standard sets in.

The state of desperation acts as a repellant to solutions. We've all experienced this. When we desperately want something to go right, it almost always ends up taking a turn for the worse. So when I desperately wanted to clear out the acne, it only acted as a fuel to rile it up further. It was then that I realised that the only remedy to this, was acceptance. I had to make peace with my skin. I had to consciously take control of my mental conditioning and teach myself that textured skin is just as beautiful as clear skin. Knowing that you're good enough just the way you are in the present moment without any layers of expectations immediately extracts the mind out of the suffering.

The art of consciously re-wiring your mind is tedious, since it's more about willing to let go of and unlearning the things that you've been picking up on from the time you were a toddler. But the mental harmony you get from it is absolutely worth it.

The main key in rewiring the mind is to surround yourself entirely with this new belief. Surround yourself with people and material that will reinforce the new belief in you, and this ought to do the trick.

The Result

Needless to say, I was acne free 3 months later. I continue to maintain a clean diet (mostly because I'm used to it and have experienced the shift in my energy levels because of it), but allow myself to indulge in a cheat meal every now and then without having to worry about my skin breaking out because;

A) I have learned to love my skin with and without the acne. So it's appearance and disappearance doesn't bother me as much anymore. and

B) The "not caring" attitude ends up repelling the acne anyway.

The long and the short of it

To summarise, topical treatments are only temporary fixes. If the condition persists, it's a signal from your body to address the root cause. Treating the physical body through the right diet, exercise and quality sleep is crucial, but it doesn't end here. The ultimate goal is to get to the limiting thoughts and emotions that are interrupting the natural flow of life. The only way to figuring that out is through regular introspection and self growth.

I'm so glad to have made the acquaintance of chronic acne. Like a teacher, it coerced me to take action and look within to explore this mighty ocean of a world that would've remained undiscovered if not for it.

Every single one of our health ailments, whether its a muscular problem, a nerve problem or an organ issue, are bio-feedbacks from your body asking you to correct something. Think of it as a call from your system: You can choose to ignore it or answer it.