Breaking the News of a Cancer Diagnosis: There’s Got to Be A Better Way
Dan Janal - Executive Ghostwriter
I help important people write interesting books.
I’ll never forget how my doctor told me about my diagnosis for the first time:
“You were dealt a bad hand,†she said. “You have multiple myeloma, a blood cancer. And you have the most aggressive form.â€
I have no idea what she said after that. My mind was racing with questions like:
·????? How long do I have to live?
·????? What do I have to do before I die?
·????? Will it hurt?
·????? What can I do to beat the odds?
When I told my primary doctor about this, he said, “She really said that? That’s cold.â€
How did your doctor break the news to you?
How did you feel about that?
Certainly, there must be a better way.
How does this sound?
?“We looked at your tests, and we noticed some abnormalities. We can get this under control with medications over the next few months. You might experience some discomfort. Possibly fever. Vomiting. Insomnia. But you won’t lose your hair. I ?want you to know that you didn’t do anything to get this diagnosis. And you couldn’t have done anything to prevent this. How does this sound so far?â€
“Okay, I guess.â€
“In case you’re wondering, the disease you have is in the category of disorders called cancer.â€
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“Oh, that doesn’t sound good.â€
“No. It doesn’t. But we can get this under control.â€
If my doctor had framed the conversation like this, I might have left her office with hope instead of fear.
?My wife insisted I switch doctors and treatment centers.
My new doctors at the Mayo Clinic (you might have heard of them) were much more compassionate.
More about that in another post.
Questions for Consideration
·????? How did your doctor break the news to you?
·????? How did you feel about that?
·????? Did you pay attention to what they said after that? Or did you start thinking of questions in your mind?
·????? What would you have wanted the doctor to have said?
#cancer #MultipleMyeloma
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Fractional CMO for Private Cos. & Start-Ups
1 周Just read this Dan. Hope you’re well. I have experience to share regarding MM - call me sometime. Good luck in your fight!!
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1 周Dan Janal - Executive Ghostwriter - your reframe gives hope which I think is key to supporting someone, no matter what the circumstance is.
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2 周All I have to go on, Dan, is reports from family and friends who’ve received their diagnoses without a shred of compassion. However, yesterday, my friend reported a warm hug at the close of her consultation and that her consultant couldn't have been kinder delivering the news.
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2 周Thankfully, I haven't received this Dx and I hope I never do. But I learned about my husband's cancer in maybe the worst way possible—from the MyChart app on my phone. I was sitting alone in my car outside the emergency room. It was almost midnight on a Saturday night before Christmas. I managed my husband's medical appointment calendar so I had his MyChart on my phone, and when the "You have new test results" notification flashed, I was dumb enough to read it. The first word on saw on the page was "metastatic" followed by "liver lesions." I don't know how the news was broken to him, as I was not allowed in the hospital at the time due to Covid lockdowns. We later met with 3 different oncologists, two of whom were shockingly uncaring and de-motivating. Note for people who are getting this Dx: NEVER let anyone else tell you how long you have to live. Literally tell the doctor at the beginning of the appointment that you do not want to hear that. When you've just heard the C-word, you're in a highly suggestible and traumatized state, and too often, a doctor's "average" becomes a "no-cebo" expiration date. (A nocebo is the opposite of a placebo—harms caused by negative expectations, often from an authority figure like a doctor.)