Breaking my silence and what we need to do together, for positive change

It’s 2024 and things have to change. We need a more equitable and fairer society, for all people and you can make that difference.

I want to share with you something that happened to me a few days ago resulting in feelings I’ve not felt for a long, long time.

Let me tell you what I'm feeling and why.

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What?? Sadness. Fear. Astonishment.

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Why? I was walking through the park and something happened that took me right back to my childhood. I don’t normally talk about these things but after deliberating (lots) I have decided to share in the hope it may make some kind of difference, however small, especially if you’re a business owner, manage a team or are responsible for a diverse workforce. Which many in my network are.

I often walk through the park because I like to hear the sound of birdsong. I find it calming and uplifting. A few days ago, I did the same and in front of me were two adults having a chat – a man sat on a bench and a woman stood on the path - walking their dogs. Nothing new I hear you say, and I would agree. Both saw me approaching, and when I was two or three steps away, in a clearly audible manner and very much intended for me to hear the man said:

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“F****n Muslims …All parasites”

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The women then replies:

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“Don’t get me started, we’ll be here all day!”

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Then looked at me.?I slowed for?a moment thinking?about challenging (went through all the possible scenarios and potential outcomes. People of colour know what I mean) but then walked on, as my faith prescribes me to, but I did shake?my head as I looked down at the ground. As their comments reverberated in my mind, I grew increasingly hurt.?

These two people, in their 30’s and 40’s both white, most likely work somewhere and harbour what I find are abhorrent views. I asked myself: "If they think like this in the open, what decisions are they making in the workplace that will impact the lives of people of colour and especially Muslims?”

What?I?heard was shocking but not surprising. The?shock transported right back to the darker side of my childhood experiences growing?up in?the UK. Unleashing much of which I have locked away. That’s the sad part. Sad also because 1. People actually feel like this and 2. Because this is ‘stuff’ I’ve had to put up with all my life - personally, and at times professionally.

Growing up, the NF (an organised fascist group) would stand outside our house with their dogs to intimidate us - our parents would not let us out fearing the worst. Being called a P*ki B***ard or Black B***ard, and much worse, being told to go back to where you F’in came from in no uncertain terms was so frequent that it was something I expected every day. People used to stop me in the street as I walked to school to shout this at me but being told to go back to where I came from always left me puzzled because I was?born in the Queen Victoria Hospital just up the?road. "I'm already here" I'd say to myself. Police would regularly stop and search me, ask ridiculous questions telling me it was “just a routine check.” But then you go to Uni, graduate, go about building a career and begin to experience it in different, rather subtle and nuanced ways.

A few years ago, as a school governor, I was educated in another way, young primary aged children told they were now being called T*****ist, in the playground. The new slur of the modern era. They would tell me about teachers who made outlandish and hurtful statements.

I know I’m not alone - people of colour experience the same, day in, day out. On the way to the shops, on the way to and from work, sometimes even at work.?Shockingly, it has even become physical and in too many instances in the UK, resulting in murder.?

This is why I feel fearful.?I fear for my daughters, wife, sisters, mother and mother-in-law all of whom have experienced racism and hate. I worry about my friends and their families, especially the elderly. Women are attacked by adult-men, targeted because of the colour of their skin and for being visibly Muslim. How can this be acceptable in our society in 2024?

What I and many experience all too often, is part of our everyday existence. As a child I witnessed my parents endure racism daily. My mum got the brunt of it from grown men who should know better. I know because I was there. My father, at his workplace. They put up with it because they felt it was part and parcel of being in another country, someone else’s country. I did not share those sentiments back then and definitely not now. This is my country!

That said, I have simply gone about my business knowing racism and now Islamophobia exists, by just keeping my head down and getting on with it.?I now realise not speaking up means that I am enabling, perpetuating and complicit in something I know is inherently wrong. So that's why I'm breaking my silence, because I have people relying on me. I am fortunate, I have an employer and network that supports and empowers me, many don't and feel isolated. Speaking out sometimes means being seen as troublesome, resulting in getting overlooked for promotion or even losing your livelihood.

This hate, is, in my opinion, based on an irrational fear, one that has been fermented over many years to position us Muslims in a particular light. You just need to take a?look at newspaper headlines over the past decade and more. Fast forward to today, the dangerous rhetoric in our media, across social platforms and in our politics, anti-Muslim hate is reaching new heights and that it has become a natural part of our discourse. Add to this the introduction and use of Artificial Intelligence (AI) and how that is being used in a sinister manner to perpetuate, manipulate and stoke resentment in communities and whole swathes of people.

I’m certain not everyone will agree and that's fine with me but based on the experiences of many, I believe it to be the case. We are an easy target.?When there is conflict, there are repercussions, anti-Muslim hate and racism increases during times of conflict. Conflicts that us mere?mortals do not instigate but then have to defend ourselves and our faith to prove our Britishness – it’s truly exhausting. It happened after the invasion of Iraq, Afghanistan and right now because of the horror that is unfolding in the Middle East and especially to the people in Palestine and Gaza. It’s been happening all my life and what happened in?the past few days are directly related to the aforementioned.

I know that my experiences pale into insignificance to those who are suffering around the world but a?study in the past fortnight by the Think Tank Tell MAMA has found a 335% increase in attacks and hate on Muslims in the UK. In a peer reviewed study in 2022 by Dr Samir Sweida-Metwally of University of Bristol, found evidence of there being a Muslim and Black ‘penalty’ in the UK Labour market - talented people with skills and qualifications not getting fair and equitable opportunities because of their faith and colour. How do I prepare my students for that? Islamophobia and racism is very real and part of our?society and we need a collective and concerted effort to ensure positive change and outcomes. We have to be vocal, visible and not allow people to suffer in silence.

Children are not born hating, it’s a combination of their environment and what they are taught that distorts their view of the world. If only we were taught the real history of colonisation at school, something that many people like me have grown up hearing about at home but never in the classroom.?What if? How different could?it be? Would we be more compassionate to one another if we were taught the?truth??And here lies my astonishment. I'm astonished?and somewhat bewildered about the casualness these?thoughts are expressed, how some people in all walks of life and positions of power are sowing the seeds of hate and how many stay silent. The?haters?have become so emboldened that?being racist or Islamophobic out loud,?in?any?setting, online and offline has now become normalised.

I do not accept that anyone should have to be subjected to such kinds of aggression, especially in 2024.?I want a better future for my kids. For everyone. Writing this, however personal, gives me an opportunity to share with you and give you a little insight into what many people of colour go through.

The real concern is that we are regressing as a society but I’m an eternal optimist and believe we can do something about it. However small we perceive that action to be, could ultimately be profound for others.?

So what can we do?

• Be more compassionate to one another. Making time to understand one another
• Be a collective of like minded people doing good. A collective that wants a fairer and just society which means that we not only support colleagues but ensure we have hiring practices and working environments that support and develop all our people
• Not dedicate a few workshops and expect people of colour to share their experiences and re-live their trauma
• Strive towards working environments that allow people / colleagues to be their true selves and not be fearful to share and speak out
• Not be fearful to talk about difficult topics. Talking about racism can make some people uncomfortable but let me tell you, being on the receiving end is another-level experience
• Work collaboratively but also acknowledge that just because someone is Asian or Black, it doesn't make them an EDI specialist
• Work with the right EDI specialists. I'm not one of them but I know many.

I will continue to speak up from time to time and?ask my friends, colleagues, associates, business owners: What difference can we make together??I’m not looking for Utopia but I am hoping for a fairer and kinder society.

Thank you for sharing this experience with me. Here's to a better future for all.

Peace.