Breaking the Mold: Supporting Women’s Choices Beyond Motherhood

In today's world, it often feels like woman's choices regarding motherhood are subject to unwarranted scrutiny vs. unwavering support. Whether it's her age, marital status, or other milestones, there is an unspoken expectation that her plans, or no plans, for having children should be a topic of conversation. It’s not only inappropriate but never seem to end.

Society has long held the deeply ingrained belief that all women inherently desire to become mothers, but this assumption couldn't be further from the truth. Recent research from the Pew Research Center , conducted in 2021, reveals a changing landscape. Approximately 44% of non-parents between the ages of 18 to 49 now say it is "not too likely" or "not at all likely" that they will have children someday. This marks a significant increase of 7 percentage points from a similar survey conducted in 2018.

The decision to have children is deeply personal and influenced by various factors. It's a matter that should be respected without others assuming or questioning. As a woman, I can confidently say that very few, if any, women appreciate being asked about their family planning.

As part of my women leaders in tech interview series, a few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of speaking with Paige Powers , an outstanding woman who serves as the Head of Americas Distribution Sales at 瞻博网络 . Paige is a remarkable individual, with a radiating energy and empathy for others. She shared her career journey with me, leaving me in awe of her determination and accomplishments. Throughout our conversation, I couldn't help but think, "We need more leaders like Paige!" inside and outside of this little business ecosystem we call the channel.

When I asked Paige about the challenges she's faced in her career, one of the most significant issues she mentioned was the constant need to explain why she chose not to have children.

"As a woman in the tech industry who has opted for a non-traditional lifestyle, it has been one of the toughest challenges for me. Society often imposes certain expectations on you based on your gender," Paige candidly revealed.

My conversation with Paige made it clear that the topic of societal assumptions regarding women's choices related to motherhood deserves its spotlight, as I believe many women, much like Paige, can resonate with it. Even though I am now a mother, I vividly recall the frustration I experienced when constantly questioned about starting a family during my eight-year marriage, long before I became pregnant.

When a woman is asked about her plans for having children, it automatically assumes that she intends to become a mother. However, for women who have made the deliberate choice not to have children, such question can lead to judgment or invasive questioning of their personal decisions that are simply not acceptable in today’s business environment.

In addition to respecting a woman’s personal decision to not have children, it's also important to understand other potential reasons why the question is not only inappropriate, but rude. Below are just a few examples of the issues that that are part of the life planning that women go through.

• Fertility Challenges: For some women, fertility struggles are a painful reality. Asking about motherhood can unintentionally remind them of their personal battles, causing emotional distress.
• Financial Hurdles: Parenthood comes with significant financial responsibilities. Inquiring about having children may highlight financial difficulties or pressure women who may not have the means to start a family.
• Feeling Judged: Society often imposes expectations on women based on their gender. When asked about motherhood, women may feel judged, misunderstood, or pressured to conform to societal norms.
• Recent Miscarriage: Miscarriages are emotionally devastating experiences. Asking about having children after a recent miscarriage can reopen wounds and intensify the pain, making it a sensitive subject to approach.
• Struggling to Conceive: Conceiving doesn't happen overnight for everyone. Some couples face extended challenges on their journey to parenthood. Asking this question can add stress and emotional strain to an already difficult situation.
• Environmental Concerns: Worries about the state of the natural environment and the future their children would inhabit.

Before posing the question about when a woman plans to have a child, take a moment to reflect on the potential consequences your question could bring into her life and why it is relevant to that professional relationship. While I believe that most people mean well with this question, I hope it becomes common sense that one should not pry into another's personal family decisions unless explicitly invited.

It's so important to recognize the strength and courage of women like Paige, and all others who chart their own paths in life. Their decisions, whether to become mothers or to follow different dreams, are a testament to their individuality and resilience. Let's celebrate these choices and the diverse journeys that women undertake. May we continue to foster a world where every woman feels empowered to embrace her unique path, free from societal pressures and expectations. Together, we can build an inclusive society that respects and honors each person's life choices, creating a brighter and more understanding future for all.

Please share if you agree…