Breaking Free: My Journey to Self-Discovery

"There was a time when my identity was nothing more than a reflection of everyone around me. A chameleon in every social setting, I became a stranger to myself."

Imagine a life spent morphing into everyone else's reflection. That was me – blending into every social situation, desperately seeking approval. I would adapt myself to match the expectations of whoever I was with. I'd laugh at their jokes, even if they weren't funny, and agree with their opinions, even if I disagreed.

It was exhausting. I felt like I was constantly walking on eggshells, never quite sure if I was doing the right thing or saying the right thing. I was so focused on pleasing others that I had completely lost sight of myself.

The emptiness I felt was a constant ache. I longed to be seen for who I truly was, but I was too afraid to let my authentic self shine through. I was trapped in a gilded cage, surrounded by superficial relationships and empty achievements.

As I reached a breaking point, searching for meaning in the emptiness, I stumbled upon "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. It was like a beacon of hope in the darkness, illuminating the hidden chains that had held me captive. Ruiz's insights into the human mind and the power of beliefs dramatically shifted my perspective on life. I realized that I had spent almost more than a decade of my life trying to be someone I wasn't, internalizing the belief that my worth was defined by my achievements and the opinions of others. I was a puppet on strings, dancing to the tune of societal expectations.

This book taught me that our suffering is often caused by our own beliefs. We have a perfect image in our minds, but we can never be as perfect as we think we should be. This makes us feel bad about ourselves.

The Four Agreements helped me understand how to break free from these chains. Here's what I learned:

Be impeccable with your word: This principle has truly transformed my life. I've become much more conscious of the language I use, not just with others but also in my self-talk. For instance, there was a time when I would agree to things I didn’t believe in just to avoid conflict. Now, I choose to speak with integrity and kindness, or remain silent if necessary. This shift has greatly improved my relationships and has given my self-esteem a powerful boost. I no longer agree just to please others—I honor my truth instead.

Don’t take anything personally: This principle pushed me to reevaluate how I respond to criticism and negative comments. I've come to understand that others’ words often mirror their own insecurities, not my value. By not taking things personally, I've become less reactive and more resilient. I remember when a colleague's harsh words would ruin my day; now, I see them for what they are—just words, not a judgment of my character. If someone has an issue with me, that's their problem, not mine to internalize.

Don’t make assumptions: This forced me to slow down and question my thought processes. I realized how often I jumped to conclusions based on limited information. By asking more questions and seeking clarity, I’ve avoided misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts. For instance, instead of assuming someone’s intentions, I now ask them directly, which has led to more honest and open communication.

Always do your best: This encouraged me to focus on the present moment and give my full effort to whatever I’m doing. Whether it’s a work project or a personal goal, doing my best has brought me greater satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment. I’ve learned that my best varies from day to day, and that’s okay.

To delve deeper into this journey, feel free to explore the blog section of my website HERE .

In essence, these agreements have taught me the importance of personal freedom. By following them, I’ve learned to be more confident, compassionate, and at peace with myself. I’ve broken free from the chains that were holding me back and am now living a more authentic life. From my personal experience, I encourage you to incorporate these principles into your life. Join me on this journey of self-discovery – you might be surprised at how much they can change your life.

Are you ready to step out of the shadows of others' expectations and into the light of your true self? The journey begins with a single step.

A thought to hold onto: The freedom we are looking for is the freedom to be ourselves, to express ourselves.

Don’t just wish for a great day, make it happen!

Wishing you strength, resilience, and limitless growth,

Love & Light,

Shilpi