Breaking Free from the “Reality Trap”

The Invisible Barrier Holding Back Your Leadership Potential

Most of us live inside invisible mental prisons, often without realizing it. These “prisons” are the beliefs we hold about what’s realistic or possible – what I call the “Reality Trap.” It’s built from past experiences, current evidence, and the stories we tell ourselves about how the world works.

But here’s the catch: most of us assume our thinking is true. We assume the way we see the world reflects the way the world really is. But does it?

Let me explain with an example from last night’s Notre Dame vs. Penn State game. Late in the game, Penn State’s quarterback threw a pass into the end zone, aiming to score a game-winning touchdown. A Notre Dame defender intercepted the pass, but a flag was thrown for pass interference. It was a controversial call – the kind of decision that sparks instant debate.

If you’re a Notre Dame fan, you might have seen a clean play, nothing but great defense. If you’re a Penn State fan, you probably saw clear interference, the kind of penalty that had to be called. Both sides were watching the exact same play, but their perspectives shaped their reality.

So where is the truth? Did pass interference happen, or didn’t it? The reality is, in situations like this, truth is filtered through perspective.

And that’s exactly how the Reality Trap works in leadership.

How the Reality Trap Works

In leadership, we filter situations through the lens of our past experiences and deeply held beliefs. These mental models act as shortcuts, helping us interpret complex situations quickly. But the problem is, they often present interpretations as “truth.”

Consider these common statements you might hear in a retail business like Nordstrom:

? “We don’t have the right merchandise to hit our sales goals.”

? “We have too much inventory, but it’s in the wrong sizes.”

? “Customers are shopping somewhere else because it’s more fashionable there.”

? “That trend didn’t work before, so it won’t work now.”

These aren’t facts – they’re perspectives. But when we treat them as truths, they quietly shape our decisions and actions, often limiting our ability to find creative solutions. Just like fans debating that football call, we end up seeing what we expect to see.

Here’s where the trap becomes dangerous: If you believe “We don’t have the right merchandise,” your actions reflect that belief. You don’t invest in inventory optimization tools, you don’t test new collections, and you don’t explore partnerships to source better options. Over time, the results confirm your belief – and that belief becomes even harder to challenge.

Where Truth Lives

So where is truth in all of this? Here’s what I’ve learned: the “truth” isn’t as fixed or objective as we’d like to believe. Instead, it’s shaped by perspective, context, and assumptions.

In leadership, truth often comes down to this: Are your beliefs serving you and creating the results you want? If they’re not, it’s time to stop asking “What’s true?” and start asking, “What else might be possible?”

The great leaders I’ve worked with aren’t concerned with proving their assumptions right. They focus on testing new perspectives and rewriting the beliefs that limit their teams’ growth.

Three Steps to Escape the Reality Trap

1. Spot Your Limiting Beliefs

The first step is awareness. What assumptions are shaping your decisions? Look for beliefs that start with “We can’t…” or “It’s not possible.” For example:

? “We can’t compete with that price point.”

? “Our customers don’t want to shop online.”

These are clues that you’re operating inside the trap.

2. Reframe the Problem

Instead of asking “Why can’t we?” shift to “How might we?” This subtle but powerful language change reframes obstacles as opportunities, opening up creative thinking.

For instance:

? “How might we improve inventory accuracy to match customer demand?”

? “How might we attract customers who value style over price?”

3. Test New Possibilities

Don’t wait for certainty to try something new. Experiment with bold ideas and measure the results. Each step outside your comfort zone creates evidence that your current thinking isn’t the whole truth.

The Leadership Challenge

Take a moment to reflect: What “truths” are you clinging to in your leadership? Are these beliefs helping you move forward – or keeping you stuck?

Like that controversial football call, what you see as “true” is often just a matter of perspective. The good news is, perspectives can be challenged, rewritten, and expanded. The key is choosing to step beyond the Reality Trap and embrace a mindset of possibility.

Your breakthrough might just be waiting on the other side.