Breaking Free From Conditioning
Crystal Lim-Lange
CEO of Forest Wolf, 2x LinkedIn Top Voice, Singapore’s Work Bestie, Co-author of Deep Human | Prestige Magazine Woman of Power
On my podcast this week, I had with me the ever popular Volker Krohn, my OG mentor, and the director of the Hoffman Process for Asia Pacific.
We spoke on how deeply our childhood conditioning shapes us as adults, and the struggle that many of us face in setting healthy boundaries with our parents.
The Impact of Childhood Conditioning
Our parents, often without realizing it, pass down their values, fears, and behaviours. This conditioning has a lasting impact, influencing our adult relationships and our sense of self-worth. Often, unresolved emotional needs from childhood — like the need for validation or love — manifest in adulthood. We may find ourselves seeking approval from our bosses or partners, just as we once sought approval from our parents.
But many parents, due to their own limitations or traumas, may not have the emotional resources to fully provide the love or validation we desired as children. Understanding that our parents gave us the ultimate gift — the gift of life —even if they couldn’t meet all our needs, can help us let go of unmet expectations.
Drawing Boundaries & Breaking Free
Many questions on my weekly AMA are about setting boundaries, especially with family members. In many cultures, particularly in Asia, filial piety is deeply ingrained, making it difficult to assert independence without feeling guilt. Breaking free from our conditioning and setting boundaries with our parents isn’t about rejecting them; it’s about honouring ourselves. By understanding the deep emotional patterns that shape our adult lives and taking responsibility for our own healing, we can create healthier relationships with our parents and ourselves.
Listen to the podcast here for more therapy insights.
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Much love
Crystal
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Growth seeker | Creative thinker | Team Builder | Building strong foundations for the Generations
3 个月Thank you for sharing this Crystal! Yes it's so important for everyone and I mean EVERYONE to do the inner work - periodic self examination of one's beliefs & perceptions.
Research Director | Public & Private Sector | Insight-Driven Market Research| Empowering Strategic Decisions with 18+ Years in Insights in Asia
3 个月Love this topic! Can fully relate! As a middle child and daughter in a big family, I’ve definitely felt how family dynamics shape us in ways we don’t always notice. Growing up, it sometimes seemed like my brothers got a little extra attention, while I was expected to handle more of the chores. At first, it felt a bit unfair, but over time, I realized those responsibilities actually helped me build resilience and independence. I think daughters in these roles often end up developing a strong sense of drive and resourcefulness that really comes in handy as adults. #girlpower
CAMS/LLM
4 个月Thanks Crystal ?? balancing past, present and future ! helpful for all ages ??
Healthcare Entrepreneur. | Delivering Excellent, Sustainable and Impactful Patient Outcomes. | Healthy and Active Ageing Advocate.
4 个月This takes more than just action but an acceptance of paradigm shifts and power dynamics. A child, an adult, a partner, a parent, a grandparent, a caregiver.