Breaking Free from the Chains of "What Will People Say?" (Loag Kya Kahenge: The Fear that Holds Us Back)

In our society, the phrase "Loag kya kahenge" or "What will people say?" has become a social stigma passed down through generations. It’s a mindset that we inherit, often unconsciously, from the moment we are born. We are so consumed with the fear of being judged by others that we forget how to live according to our own values, needs, and desires. This fear of judgment is the worst kind of imprisonment - when you are not free to live your life as you wish, but are instead shackled by the opinions of others.

The Song that Speaks the Truth

There’s an old song, “Kuch to loag kahenge, loagon ka kaam hai kehna” - it translates to, "People will always say something; it's their job to talk." And this is a profound truth. We cannot stop people from gossiping or sharing unsolicited opinions about us. But what we can control is how we react.

This simple shift in focus - from trying to control the external (what others say) to mastering the internal (our response) - can be life-changing. You can't silence every critic, but you can choose not to let their words dictate how you live your life.

The Prison of External Validation

In today’s fast-paced world, we often claim we don’t have time. Yet, people always seem to find the time to interfere in others' lives, offering uninvited advice and judgments. If you look around, you’ll see this all the time - people gossiping, sharing their opinions on how others should live their lives, often without knowing the full story. This, in my opinion, is the worst use of anyone’s time and energy.

The obsession with what others think is not just a passing thought - it has become ingrained in our cultural fabric. The constant fear of being judged keeps us trapped, forcing us to live by rules that aren’t even our own. How many decisions in your life have been influenced by the question, "What will people say?"

My Own Journey of Breaking Free

Honestly speaking, there was a time when I, too, was influenced by this mantra of "What will people say?" I did all the right things, carefully choosing my words and actions to ensure that no one could gossip about me. I lived in constant fear of judgment, and it weighed heavily on me. But one day, it finally dawned on me - why was I allowing myself to be emotionally imprisoned by the opinions of others?

That moment was a turning point in my life. Today, I can confidently say that I am no longer affected by what people think of me. I have learned to place value on one thing above all else: my own opinion about myself. My subconscious, my beliefs, and my moral compass are what matter to me now. If I know in my heart that my actions are aligned with my values and that I am doing what I believe to be right, then what anyone else thinks becomes irrelevant.

Every time I ask myself, "Does what they say about me matter?" the answer is always a resounding no.

The Role of Social Media in Amplifying Judgement

In today’s world, the problem has only worsened with the advent of social media. Platforms that were once meant to connect people are now breeding grounds for judgment and comparison. People display curated, often fake versions of their lives for the world to see. Behind the filters and carefully staged photos, you’ll find brokenness, insecurity, and depression - masked by smiles and picture-perfect moments.

It’s ironic, really. People who are struggling will post happy family pictures, not because they want to celebrate their moments, but because they want to avoid being judged. They’re still trying to uphold that old societal standard - “What will people say?” - even in the virtual world.

And the saddest part? Social media has given even more people the license to comment on your life, whether they are connected to you or not. It’s become a place where judgments are dished out by people who don’t even know your story. The level of inauthenticity is suffocating.

Breaking the Cycle

As a child of the 80s, I grew up hearing this phrase from elders around me. It was drilled into us: “Be careful in everything you do, because what will people say?” It dictated our actions, our choices, and even our dreams. But today’s younger generation is pushing back against this mentality. They are learning to express their individuality without being weighed down by societal judgments.

This does not mean that we should disregard respect or act without consideration for others, but rather that we shouldn’t live in constant fear of being judged. Life is too short to be lived through the eyes of others.

The Epidemic of Judgement

Yes, I call it an epidemic because that’s exactly what it is. The tendency to interfere and pass judgment spreads like a virus, affecting everyone it touches. We are taught to stay quiet, to suppress our own desires so that others don’t have something negative to say about us. But the reality is this: no matter how much you try to appease others, people will talk. Whether you conform or not, they will find something to say.

So why should we base our lives on the opinions of others? The answer is simple: we shouldn’t. Living authentically, without fear of judgment, is the only way to break free from this societal prison.

Choosing Freedom

So, the question remains: do you want to live a life that pleases others, or do you want to live a life that fulfills you? If you’re constantly worried about what people will say, you are giving away your power. You’re allowing external forces to dictate your happiness, your choices, and ultimately, your life.

The solution lies in choosing yourself. When you prioritize your own values and dreams over the fleeting opinions of others, you reclaim your freedom. And in this freedom, you will find true happiness.

A Final Question to Ponder

Will you continue living under the fear of "What will people say?" or will you dare to live for yourself, free from the shackles of judgment?

The choice is yours.