Breaking Free from "Brules": How Vishen Lakhiani’s Concept Can Help You Live Authentically

By Emma Rabee

Have you ever felt like you’re following a script that someone else wrote for your life? Maybe you’re working a job that drains you or living by expectations that don’t really match who you are. This is what Vishen Lakhiani, founder of Mindvalley and author of The Code of the Extraordinary Mind, calls living by “Brules”—short for bullsh*t rules.

Brules are those unwritten rules we pick up from society, family, or the education system that tell us how we should live. They’re the beliefs and norms we accept without thinking. The problem? These Brules often trap us in a frame that doesn’t fit who we really are, keeping us stuck in lives that don’t make us happy. Let’s break down what Brules are, where they come from, and—most importantly—how to bust out of them and create a life that’s actually aligned with your true self.

What Exactly Are Brules?

Brules are those sneaky, outdated rules that tell us how to live, even if they don’t make sense anymore. They’re beliefs like:

• “You need to work a 9-to-5 to be successful.”
• “You should get married and have kids by a certain age.”
• “Money is hard to come by unless you hustle endlessly.”

Sound familiar? These aren’t universal truths—they’re just rules we’ve absorbed from the world around us, usually without even questioning them. But here’s the catch: Brules often don’t serve us. Instead, they keep us small, stressed, or stuck, following a blueprint that doesn’t reflect our deepest values or dreams.

How Brules Keep You Stuck in a Life That’s Not Yours

Imagine your life is a blank canvas, but instead of painting freely, you’ve been handed someone else’s brush—and their colors don’t reflect your vision. Brules do exactly this. They box you into a life that might look good on the outside, but doesn’t feel right on the inside.

Here’s how Brules can mess with your life:

1. Living someone else’s version of success: You’re chasing goals that don’t align with your passions or purpose—maybe because they’re what society deems "right" or "normal."
2. Silencing your inner voice: You ignore the whispers of your soul that tell you to try something different or bold, all because a Brule says, "No, that’s not the safe or accepted way."
3. Limiting your potential: Brules make you feel like you have to play it safe. They breed fear and doubt, convincing you that going after your dreams is risky or unrealistic.
4. Pleasing others, not yourself: Whether it’s your family, friends, or society at large, Brules trick you into living for other people’s approval. This keeps you conforming instead of thriving.

Where Do Brules Come From?

Brules come from every corner of life, and most of them are passed down to us without our consent:

• Family: Our parents and grandparents teach us their way of life, and without realizing it, we absorb their beliefs and ideas about what’s possible for us.
• School and society: From a young age, we’re taught to follow the rules: get good grades, go to college, get a stable job. These paths aren’t bad, but they’re not the only paths.
• Culture and media: We’re constantly bombarded by media telling us what success, beauty, and happiness should look like. It’s easy to feel like we’re falling short if we’re not living up to those standards.

The problem with all this? We often don’t stop to question whether these beliefs actually serve us. We assume that just because it’s the way things have been done, it’s the way they should be done.

How to Spot the Brules Holding You Back

Lakhiani encourages us to become conscious of the Brules shaping our lives. To do this, start by questioning everything you believe about success, happiness, and what’s possible. Ask yourself:

• Why do I believe I need to follow this career path?
• Is this idea of success truly mine, or did I inherit it from others?
• What rules am I following that don’t feel right deep down?

Once you start questioning, you’ll begin to uncover the Brules running the show in your life. You might realize that your current job, lifestyle, or relationships are based on outdated ideas about what you should do, not what you want to do.

How to Break Free from Brules and Live Authentically

The good news? You can break free from Brules by creating your own set of rules for life. Here’s how you can start:

1. Redefine success on your terms: Forget what society tells you about what success looks like. Define it for yourself. Maybe for you, success is about freedom and flexibility, not climbing the corporate ladder. Or maybe it’s about spending more time with loved ones, not earning six figures.
2. Replace limiting beliefs with empowering ones: Brules tend to be fear-based. Replace them with beliefs that expand your possibilities. For example, instead of thinking, "I need to work long hours to make money," try, "I can create abundance doing what I love."
3. Choose the unconventional path: Don’t be afraid to go against the grain. If your heart is calling you to start a business, travel the world, or follow a creative passion, trust that. The most extraordinary lives are lived by those who dared to question the status quo.
4. Find your tribe: Surround yourself with people who question the same Brules you do. It’s easier to break free from societal norms when you have support from like-minded individuals who are also choosing to live authentically.
5. Align with your core values: Make sure your daily choices align with what matters most to you. Whether it’s freedom, adventure, creativity, or connection, let these values guide your decisions. When your actions match your values, you’ll feel more fulfilled and at peace with your life.

Your Life, Your Rules

Living by Brules keeps us trapped in lives that aren’t ours. The moment you start questioning these rules, you’ll begin to see just how much is possible when you live on your own terms. Vishen Lakhiani’s teachings remind us that we’re the creators of our own reality, and by breaking free from Brules, we can design a life that’s authentic, fulfilling, and aligned with our true selves.

So, what are the Brules in your life? And are you ready to break free?

Conclusion: Time to Rewrite the Rules

Brules are just that—bullsh*t rules that hold you back. It’s time to question them, break them, and write your own rules for living. When you step out of the frame society has placed you in, you open up limitless possibilities. By rejecting the Brules that no longer serve you, you can finally live a life that’s uniquely yours—one that’s filled with passion, purpose, and joy.